Grappling With Survival
Chapter 3: Strangers, both Present and Absent

Copyright© 2016 by Vincent Berg

“Radio Scott here again with some exciting news, for us at least. We’ve found other survivors. But so far it’s been a mixed blessing.

We managed to rescue a young girl whose family died. Unable to dispose of their bodies on her own, she did the sensible thing and abandoned her home, finding a safer refuge. When we met her she was sensibly cautious about us, but decided she was safer with us than she was on her own. However, we also encountered someone else with a different opinion of the world. He wanted nothing whatsoever to do with us. Not even enough to listen to what we had to say. When we attempted to communicate with him, he shot at us. We ended up leaving him a short message and some food as enticement to read it with an open mind, but we don’t know whether that approach worked or not.

That said, you need to be cautious about approaching people. It seems that many people are more concerned with the threat of disease than they are with the challenges of surviving what’s approaching. There’s no sense getting yourself killed, so if anyone doesn’t approach you, do not approach them unless you’re sure they’ll respond to you positively. We need survivors, and you can’t do that if you’re getting yourself killed by other survivors.

However, that brings up another topic. Although we don’t have any references here, I did a quick calculation. Without knowing the exact population of our county, which includes four separate towns, I assumed twenty thousand, probably on the low side. Out of that, there are only four survivors. That means only a two hundredth of a single percentage survival rate! Such a number is unbelievably low. If we assume a world population of some six billion people, that would mean that only one million and two hundred thousand are alive today. Out of a population of three hundred million, that would only leave sixty thousand alive in the entire United States. Those are some sobering statistics, but it illustrates what we’re facing. The world has changed, people, and you’ve got to be prepared for what that implies.

Again, that means that we can’t continue to fight among ourselves. If you want to be left alone, don’t try to kill those that only want to communicate with you. If you need something, grab what’s available rather than trying to steal it from other survivors. Each additional death means the odds of your surviving goes down. We need a certain genetic diversity to survive as a species, and with so few people remaining, it’s going to be hard to achieve. If the Great Death didn’t kill us, then the other home grown diseases just might. We need enough survivors that we can endure whatever else we’re faced with. And don’t assume that the diseases we’ve encountered are the end of the threat to us. If we faced this many separate diseases after these microbes adjusted to our environment in only a few weeks’ time, then surely they’ll continue to adapt, and more diseases of different types will continue to develop over time. Thus it’s important to remain vigilant. Let’s help each other survive. If there are people near you, even if they don’t want to associate with you, you’ll need to help each other. Figure out how to trade services and resources.

If you have a garden, trade for gasoline. If you have gas, then trade for electricity. It’s only by cooperating that we’ll survive this, folks. The odds are stacked heavily against us, and we can only continue if we use our numbers to our advantage!”


The next morning Mattie found both Alice and her father quite energized and ready to begin the new day.

“I don’t know how you do it,” she whispered to Alice as she prepared toast and Alice was pouring juice. “Frankly, I’m still exhausted. I could hardly sleep. Every time I close my eyes I have visions of the dead. I bolt awake in the middle of the night, shaking and terrified. Yet here the two of you are, looking fresh as daisies. How the hell do you do it?”

Mattie wasn’t just fishing for information about whether Alice and her father were having sex. She still assumed they weren’t, even though she wasn’t sure about it. But still, despite being so young, she realized getting your rocks off only relaxed you for so long. If there was some trick to shutting out the nightmares, she wanted to know what it was, because she not only wasn’t sleeping soundly, she was also scared of closing her eyes at night.

“Actually, I’ve learned from my father. We work hard during the day, not giving us enough time to think of anything else. That way, when night comes, we’re both too exhausted to think about anything else.”

Mattie looked at her skeptically, the knife buttering the bread completely forgotten in her hand.

“I can’t believe that’s enough. It’s one thing to not focus on something, but my problem isn’t that I don’t think about it, it’s that the visions come to me on their own. I can’t escape them. They seek me out and grab me in the middle of the night. I just can’t shut them down.”

“It sounds like you’re having PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s what happens when your brain can’t handle what you’ve been through. You should really talk to Dad. He may know more about it than I do. Since I haven’t had it, it’s hard for me to suggest how to deal with it.”

“But how could you have avoided it?” Mattie asked, ignoring breakfast and turning to face her new friend. “I mean, all your friends have died. True, you still have your father, but you lost your mother, actually watching her get killed in front of you, and you’ve watched the entire world fall apart around you. Why the hell aren’t you terrified?”

Alice had to stop and think about it for a bit. It was a simple enough question, and one she’d actually asked herself more than a few times as survivor’s guilt had assaulted her several times.

“I don’t really know, but I’m fairly relaxed with where we are. Sure, I’m sad everyone died, but I feel safe, I feel secure, I know my Dad knows what to do, and with your help we can prepare for the future. It’ll be tough, but we’ll pull through.”

“OK, that makes sense. I feel safer knowing we have power and you can help protect me from marauders, but again, it’s not the same thing. How do you avoid the dreams, the fears, the doubts, the regrets?”

Alice took a moment to think of her response, watching her father prepare some canned Spam.

“Actually, I think it’s the result of what Dad and I experienced,” she admitted. “It developed an incredible level of trust, and that trust produces its own peace. We decided that as long as we have each other, that we can put aside everything else and just concentrate on each other. Plus, as I said, we drive out distractions through hard work, but our focus on each other seems to keep the fears at bay as well.”

“Well, I’ll tell you, if you figure out how you did that, tell me, because I could stand to sleep peacefully for once. I haven’t been able to sleep the night through since this whole thing started, and it’s only gotten worse with each additional death.”

“Frankly, I had the same reaction, but not as bad. Whenever I got scared, I had my friends and family around me to support me.”

“And after they were gone?” Mattie asked, driving the point home.

“Then I had my dad,” she answered simply, picking up the juice and taking it to the table, effectively ending the discussion.

Mattie wasn’t sure that settled it for her, though. She’d have to watch these two. They had their own secrets, both things they kept from themselves, and those they didn’t even realize they had. But whatever it was, it seemed to make their lives much simpler. And Mattie wanted that. She wanted her life to be simple for once, as it hadn’t been for a long time.


After breakfast the trio began work on a variety of tasks. David set out several traps, hoping to capture any local animals left alive for treatment. Alice announced she was going to check the pond to see whether there were any fish left in it, while Mattie concentrated on feeding the rescued animals and watering the plants. Once the traps were set, David provided fertilizer for the new cuttings he’d taken from the farms they’d visited. As they were finishing, Alice returned clearly excited.

“I found a couple of animals,” she stated proudly. “I’ve got a sick duck. It looks like it flew in and then got too sick to fly out again. I’ve also got a turtle, but I can’t tell if it was sick or not.”

“Technically it’s not a duck, it’s a coot,” her father explained as he examined it. “It’s smaller and not as widespread as the bigger ducks, like mallards.” As she’d described, the poor thing didn’t look very healthy, looking quite thin and having lost quite a few feathers. The turtle, once she set it down, eventually poked it’s head out of its shell, but David also wasn’t able to tell if it had been sick or not.

“What should we do with the turtle?” Alice asked.

“We should keep it here until we’re sure it’s healthy enough to survive on its own. Then we should free it in the hopes it can find a mate. For all we know, it might have a family hidden nearby. As for the coot, it may not be able to fly, but at least it can still serve as breeding stock if we find any more.”

“What about the fish you went looking for?” Mattie asked.

“It doesn’t look good,” Alice replied. The lake is covered with dead fish. “I couldn’t tell if there were any left or not, but it looks like a massive die off.”

“That’s what I figured happened,” David relayed. “Most of the dead fish are probably still under the surface, though, as it takes some time for them to decompose enough to float. The only way to find out if any survived is to try to catch some by either fishing or catching them with a net, but I’d rather wait so any survivors have had a chance to recover before I traumatize them any more. We’ll have to use nets, extracting all the dead fish from the surface.”

“There’s really not much left alive, is there?” Mattie asked, looking concerned now that she’d considered the problem for the first time.

“No, there isn’t. But actually, it looks like the animals around here have fared better than we have. That’s why we’re collecting them. I hope we can give them a slightly better chance of survival than they’d have if left to their own, though frankly, those left would probably survive if left alone. But at least they won’t have to forage for food while they’re recovering.”

“Are you going to name them?” Mattie asked Alice. “After all, you named the other animals.”

“I was thinking Dewey,” Alice replied. “He may be a bit old for the name, but he’s small, so it seems to fit. I couldn’t burden him with a name like Daffy,” she replied with a grin.

“I would have picked Fillmore,” Mattie said.

“Fillmore?” David asked, intrigued.

“Yeah, Fillmore Duck. It’s from the cartoon series, Mallard Fillmore.”

“Ah, yeah, I think I remember him now. He’s supposed to be a conservative reporter. I think his name was taken from Millard Fillmore, who was known as a member of the Know-Nothing movement,” David said, smiling at the memory of simpler times.

“Well, I’ll keep that name as an option if we find any mallards,” Alice offered, even though she knew that was unlikely to happen.

“What about the turtle?” Mattie asked.

“Well, seeing as how I’ve named the rest, how about you pick one?” Alice suggested.

“How about Yertle?”

“That’s as good as anything I could have come up with, and I’ve always been a fan of Dr. Seuss. How about you put him in a pen by himself and feed him some lettuce?”

“When you’re done, I’ll give you a quick lesson on how to fire both your rifle and your pistol. That way, whenever you have time, you can come out and practice until you feel comfortable with it.”

“That’s a good idea. Alice already showed me how to clean and load it.”

“Good, that’s the second most important part. After all, a dirty gun is a sure way to injure yourself, either from an accidental misfire or by getting shot when your gun doesn’t fire,” David explained.


“Alice, can I ask you something personal?” Mattie was helping Alice carry boxes of supplies from a house at the end of David’s road. It was one near where Flora had lived, and it was after Alice and David removed the bodies.

“Yeah, sure, go ahead. Right now we’re about as close as you can get, so I’m not sure you can get ‘too personal’.”

“I was wondering about you and your dad. Are you ... uh, are you sleeping together?” she said in a rush, trying to get the difficult question out before she died of embarrassment, hoping that Alice wouldn’t be offended. Instead she laughed.

“Heavens no,” Alice assured her, not taking the question literally, but instead as it had been intended. “Although I learned more about my father’s sexuality than I ever wanted to know before we got sick, we’ve got no desire to fool around.”

“I’m sorry if I offended you, but I noticed you spent the night in his room and was wondering...”

“Yes, we did ‘sleep together’ last night, just as we have every night since we both recovered, but what you saw was a form of therapy rather than anything sexual. Before we got sick we started to sleep together as a group, cuddling together after the adults finished their ‘business’. When we were ill we curled up together, probably sharing our illnesses, but it also built on our closeness and helped give us strength.

“Now that we’ve recovered, we’ve kept that close physical connection, and since Dad isn’t sexually involved with anyone, and doesn’t really want to be at the moment, it isn’t an issue. Dad and I both take time to ‘take care of ourselves’ in the bathroom before we go to bed, where we simply cuddle up. You should really try it, it’s the best therapy you can buy now, and it’s probably the only thing keeping me sane at this point. I know you’re afraid of touching anyone at this point, but the close physical contact really helps.”

“Hmm, I’ll have to consider it,” Mattie responded, relieved there wasn’t anything kinky going on that she had to be on guard against. She really hadn’t wanted to consider leaving. “It would be nice having someone I can relate to like that, and not have to worry about it becoming sexual. My father and I were never all that close as he was a real ‘man’s man’ and we never quite saw eye to eye. It would be great to develop it now, but it’s a pretty big jump for me.”

“Just so you’re warned, I’m not suggesting that sex doesn’t make itself known,” Alice told her. “Generally Dad gets erections during the night, so I try not to rub against him too much, and if he has a problem he just gets up and heads to the bathroom for anywhere from five to twenty minutes, then he’s OK again for a while. It’s not a perfect system, but it works for us. I’m sure it’ll change if I can find a girlfriend for Dad, but I’ll take advantage of it as long as I can.”

“You’re looking for a girlfriend for your dad?” Mattie asked, confused by the very concept.

“Absolutely,” Alice said. “I got him and his previous girlfriend together. They’d never have done anything if I hadn’t helped set it up. My dad’s really a big geek, and if left to his own desires, he’d live all by himself and never talk to anyone. But he really needs someone in his life, and as soon as I can find someone for him, someone that will bring out the best in him, I’ll gladly step aside. I worry about him. If he’s left alone for too long, he tends to get obsessive. He needs someone to temper him, to distract and motivate him. He really needs women around him to make him more human.”

“Hmm, he seems human enough to me,” Mattie said, contemplating him in a whole new light, but the discussion was interrupted as David entered the room, urging them to hurry it up as he had several things he still wanted to get done.


After they cleaned out the homes nearest David’s house, they drove to the center of town to bury the dead they’d accumulated by the police station using the tractor the sheriff had left there. While David and Alice loaded the bodies, Mattie had raided the cabinets, throwing out any questionable food and loading anything useful into their car. She also checked out the rest of the houses for anything useful; finding several schoolbooks the children who used to live there had used. They weren’t ones that either Alice or she would need, but they might be useful in the future or for someone else. David also turned off the electricity so it would be easier to switch the power on, turned the water off and made sure the burners for the heat and the stove were off. The last thing he needed was to restore power and cause the house to explode.

When they arrived in town, David worked the tractor while Alice shifted the bodies to the edge of the truck’s bed.

“David?” Mattie asked, running up to him.

“Yeah?” he asked, shutting the engine off so he could hear her.

“Someone left you a message. I was looking around, and I noticed something written at the end of your note.”

That certainly got David’s attention, so he climbed off the tractor and went to check it out. He found the following note where he’d told anyone stopping by to check the police station where he’d check by occasionally.

David,

Anxious to meet you. I’ve been looking for you for some time (assuming you’re the David I’ve been looking for). I’ll continue looking on my own, but I’ll also check back here later today.

Tom

“Who do you think it is?” Alice asked.

“Do you know anyone named Tom?” Mattie added.

“I’ve got no clue, and I can’t think of any Toms that would be looking for me.”

“Maybe it’s someone who’s been listening to the radio broadcasts?” Alice suggested.

“Doubtful. We’ve never used my name on the air.”

“Speak for yourself. I always introduce the broadcast as ‘Radio Scott’,” Alice confessed.

“Yeah, but as far as I know, you’ve never given my first name. No, this must be someone else, but I don’t know who it might be.”

“Maybe he’s looking for someone else?” Mattie suggested.

“Then he’s going to be disappointed, as we’re the only ones remaining, or at least that’s what we thought until now,” David replied.

“So what’ll we do until he shows up?” Mattie asked.

“We continue doing what we were doing. He said something about stopping by later, but it doesn’t say what day or what time, so we’ll have to assume it’ll be late. We’ll bury the bodies and clean up a bit more, but if he doesn’t show up by then, we’ll try later. I still wanted to do some other things today.”

So they returned to the now routine task of burying the bodies of people they hadn’t even known. David dug a new pit, then Alice backed her dead truck up to it and they tossed in the bodies and accumulated animal carcasses, while Mattie busied herself cleaning up the remaining animals along the main street. David finished by dumping about a foot of cover on the bodies, but leaving the pit open, since he knew they’d be returning to bury more in the days to come.

They each got busy after that trying to clean up the main business district, collecting the assorted small animal carcasses and leaving scattered plastic bags of them for when they returned. They made steady progress, each working a different area, but soon David noticed that the girls weren’t keeping up. Looking back, he noticed Mattie cleaning up around the storefronts, but he couldn’t see Alice. Wandering back, trying to locate her, he eventually saw her walking towards the woods surrounding the small park in the center of town. Being such a small community, the woods backed right up to the town proper, and this looked to be where Alice was heading. She wasn’t moving directly there, however; instead she’d advance a few steps, stop and listen carefully before moving again, as if she was tracking something.

David knew then that she hadn’t learned her lesson the other day, and was doing the same thing. She’d apparently noticed someone who hadn’t wanted to be noticed, maybe even the mysterious Tom trying to observe them, wanting to see if he actually knew them. But he also knew better than to yell at her. If she was tracking them down, then calling their attention to it would likely get her shot at again. So instead he tried to stealthily and quickly move to catch up with her. Just as he expected, he saw her duck into the woods beyond the park’s clearing.

Swearing to himself, he struggled to catch up without attracting attention. The long grass, which hadn’t been cut for some time, hid assorted sticks, pot holes and carcasses which made noise when tripped over. Finally entering the woods, he stopped again to listen, trying to locate her.

“Here boy, here boy,” he heard from off to the left, although he couldn’t see her. He had no idea what she’d found, though it sounded like she’d found a small child, maybe the child of one of the locals that had been hiding since the great die off. Thus he approached even more cautiously.

Coming around some bushes, he entered an area where the large trees overhead, many of them now dead pine trees, let in more light but had kept the undergrowth under control, keeping the area clear. It was on a slope and was a bit rocky as well. There crouched Alice, holding her hand out. David couldn’t tell who she was trying to communicate with, and he peered around the intervening trees carefully trying to see who it was, but he couldn’t make them out.

“It’s all right. We’re not going to hurt you,” Alice said in a light sing-song, enticing voice.

Again, David couldn’t see who she was talking to, although he once again quietly moved closer. As he did, he caught a movement, causing him to freeze and refocus his eyes. There, standing part way up a slight incline stood a large dog, its dark brown color causing it to blend into its surroundings, obscuring it from his vision before. He wasn’t sure of the breed, since he wasn’t up on the different dog breeds, but he guessed it was either a very dirty golden, or possibly some breed of hunting dog.

He swore to himself, angry that Alice had wandered off again, but even angrier that she’d unwittingly put herself at so much risk. Dogs, despite being faithful companions for so long, were carnivores, which meant they had no problem eating dead things if that was all that was available, and dogs were well known to love dead things even in the best of times. What’s more, as the dogs he’d shot at Mattie’s family’s place a couple weeks ago demonstrated, once they got a taste of eating human flesh, dogs would begin to associate humans with food, likely turning on them if pushed. And clearly, a dog that thin and haggard looking looked like it had been pushed to extremes already. Thus the dog was likely both diseased and a threat. David moved several steps forward, trying not to frighten the dog, then knelt and drew his pistol, wishing he’d brought his rifle as the pistol would be unreliable at this distance.

“It’s OK boy, we’re friendly,” Alice continued to plead, but the animal was aware of David now, and was watching him as much as it did Alice.

“Alice!” David hissed, trying to keep his volume and the timbre of his voice down so he wouldn’t startle the animal.

It was only then that she realized he was there, and turning to glance at him, saw him with his pistol ready.

“Dad! Put that away,” she insisted, keeping her own voice low and calm as she argued with him. “He’s not threatening anyone. He’s scared, alone and needs help.”

“He’s turned feral and is thus a threat. There’s no telling what he’s eaten, or how many dead bodies he’s chewed to survive,” David answered back, watching the animal cock its head as it listened to them, edging to the side to keep well away from whatever he planned. He didn’t know just how smart the animal was, but it was doing the right things, because it was putting several obstacles between them, preventing him from getting a clean shot at it. Not that he could expect to hit it from this distance anyway.

“Nonsense,” Alice answered. “Just look at him, would an animal eating dead carcasses be so scrawny? Anyway, you’re scaring him. Go get some food so I can earn his trust.”

“It would if it was sick. How about if you go for the food while I keep him in my sights?” David stressed, not relaxing his guard.

“No, you’re scaring him, and I almost have him convinced. But I’ll never get him to come down if you stay here. Trust me on this. I’ll be fine.”

David could see she had a point, even if he didn’t want to concede it. The dog looked like it hadn’t eaten in some time, looking like it might just pass out where it stood. And while it was dirty and filthy, it didn’t have the blank eyed look the recently sick typically had. As much as he disliked it, he had to make a decision; either fire in the air, scaring the dog away for good, or comply with Alice’s wishes and leave her alone with an animal he didn’t know or trust. Swearing to himself, he lowered his pistol and retreated. He continued backing away, never taking his eyes off of either of them until he got near the underbrush which had obscured them from sight before. At that point he finally turned, disappearing from sight, cursing his daughter for being a naïve trusting soul. Normally it was something he’d encourage, but in the frightening new world they found themselves in, he realized it could very well get her killed.

Entering the overgrown clearing, David saw Mattie, cautiously watching him emerge from the woods. He was encouraged that she had her rifle with her, so she at least had enough sense to prepare herself. He jogged to her, stopping a short distance away, not wanting to get too far away in case his daughter might need him to intervene.

“It’s Alice,” he told her anxiously. “She’s found a dog, which she’s trying to get to come to her, but I don’t trust it. She wants some sort of treat, but I don’t want to leave her alone.”

“Damn, I don’t know what to get for a dog,” Mattie responded. “We brought some canned goods to trade with, but we don’t have any biscuits or balls it’d be interested in, and we can’t very well give it an open can to eat from, because it’ll cut itself and be exposed to the Death.”

Damn the two kids, they both had good points, even if he wasn’t in the mood to encourage creative thinking at that moment. He jogged past her—assuming she’d know enough to not put herself in jeopardy while Alice was—and headed for the truck, which was a ways away.

He was out of breath when he reached it, since it was only a short time since they’d recovered from near death and they hadn’t gotten their stamina back yet. He fished through the few cans they’d brought along in case they needed to trade or give them away to make friends, but didn’t see anything he could offer a dog. As Mattie had said, simply opening a can and letting a dog stick its snout and tongue in it was just asking for trouble, especially with the ever present fear of disease surrounding them. He finally decided on a can on peach slices in heavy syrup and one of Vienna sausages. The syrup would be wasted, obviously, but if they poured it out on the ground the dog could at least eat the fruit and get a little moisture as well. The sausages would be enticing, and could be used to draw the dog in closer. Grabbing a can opener for the one can, he struggled to open both as he ran back.

He jogged back to Mattie, now standing at the edge of the forest, and stopped to regain his breath before continuing. Trying to ease the strain on himself, he moved carefully, trying to avoid making any untoward noises, all the while listening carefully for any sounds of distress. Surely if Alice had encountered any trouble Mattie would either have done something, or warned him when he’d arrived, so he felt sure that she was safe, for the moment at least.

Drawing near, he saw Alice now sitting, still trying to entice the reluctant dog. It looked like its resolve was weakening, but it remained leery, and when David approached, it ran back several yards, but still kept a wary eye on them both. Trying his best to ignore it, he walked to Alice, placing the two cans by her knee, and then retreated. This was her baby, she’d have to play it out as she saw fit. If she ran into trouble, she’d be the one to pay the fiddler, but he’d be nearby in case it happened.

After her father disappeared, creating a huge ruckus in the silent woods, Alice turned back to the poor dog. After this much time, she could see it hadn’t been loose for long, although it appeared to be without its owners for some time. She quietly got up and advanced on it a little, pouring the peaches where it could see them, then leaving a trail of Vienna sausages leading back to where she once more sat down to encourage the animal to trust her.

The animal warily watched her the entire time, never quite trusting her, but not fleeing either. They were apparently both here to stick this out, whichever way it turned out.

When Alice sat down, the dog watched to make sure no one else was moving, then began sniffing the air. The dog was a bitch, something that Alice had determined after watching it a while. The scent of the peaches, the syrup and the packaged meat was enough to attract her attention, and she began salivating at the mere thought of what was being offered her. Gradually, she began edging forward, ever watchful for any signs of deceit. She’d been tricked and betrayed enough recently. Moving forward, she started moving more assuredly the closer she approached, until she reached the peaches at the base of the rise. Sniffing them, she tried one, trying to detect any sign of sickness in them. Finding none, and relishing the taste, she wolfed down the rest, trying to lick up any of the remaining syrup.

 
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