A True History - Book Three
Preface

Copyright© 2021 by StarFleet Carl

What Came Before

Subtitled -
How to condense more than 861,500 words into less than a chapter!

Alternate universes exist. I know that, and some of our scientists have proven it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know this because there are alternate versions of me out there, with variations on my powers and skills. Some of them are, politely, lame people. Some of them are megalomaniacs. I’m somewhere in between.

This is the third volume of my autobiography. If you haven’t read the first two volumes, I highly recommend it. I think the author’s a nice guy. But if you don’t have time, not a problem. Here’s the short and dirty.

A brief (!) synopsis of Book One:

I was born on a planet twenty-seven light years from Earth. I’ve tried to convert things into common Earth measurements, based upon the area of Earth where I ... finished growing up, basically. So, inches, pounds, feet, miles. I screwed up several times in converting things, including my initial age. My planet had a year equivalent to 443 Earth days. So, when a rogue white dwarf star got too close to my home planet, and my parents stuffed me into an experimental rocket ship, I was fourteen years old at home. I spent some time in suspended animation, and was revived by the ship’s computer just before my ship would have landed in Kansas.

The problem with that landing was radar saw my ship coming in, so I took over manual controls and ended up crashing in an abandoned salt mine shaft near Hutchinson, Kansas, in the United States of America. My ship was damaged, but I wasn’t hurt. Actually, I ended up with a lot of abilities that no one ever had before, that I was aware of. Speed such that I can run a mile in less than a second, vision such that I could see a fly on a twig a mile away, strength such that I can pick up multiple tons, flight, laser and heat vision, and seemingly invulnerable skin.

Of course, I didn’t know all of that at first, or how all of it worked. (Still working on how it works, actually.) I wanted to stay hidden. That didn’t last long, when I kicked up a huge cloud of dust running, and was found by a widowed farmer and his daughter. Since I wasn’t that tall, and obviously still young, they thought I fell off a circus train or something like that. I was trying to keep my abilities hidden, which also didn’t last long when I screwed up and exposed my abilities to Harry and Beth.

Harry had one thing going for him. He’d been crapped on by the system after his wife died, so he had slightly ambiguous morals. Beth figured that I could become the big man at her school, and the kids there wouldn’t treat her like they had been. Net result is I figured out how to find some buried Spanish treasure, and we sold some of it for a lot of money.

Enter Judge Elroy T. Bannister into my life.

I probably can’t say enough good about Elroy. He and Harry’s father had served in World War Two together. Elroy came home with a LOT of money, used it to help improve the city, and set himself up as the feudal baron of Reno County, Kansas. Over the thirty-nine years since the end of World War Two, Elroy had grown in power such that the Governor, both Senators, and all the representatives owed him their jobs.

Harry called Elroy, told him that I was the offspring of a deceased cousin of his, and all of my records were lost. Elroy is an honest politician. That means when he is bought, he stays bought. Bribing him with two pounds of gold didn’t hurt things. Elroy made all of the documents that I’d need to enroll in school and get all of the identification I’d need. In doing so, he ‘corrected’ my age to sixteen. I should have been made seventeen, but I messed up the math.

Politely, I really am a super-genius, but with some of my screw-ups you’d wonder. I also am slightly faster than a page-at-a-glance reader, and I have a perfect memory. Harry had a large collection of science fiction books, plus the psychology books from his late wife. I also found out that power is an aphrodisiac, meaning that Beth and I found out that our species are physically compatible.

We also found out that my sperm can ‘jump start’ certain abilities in Earth girls, too, as Beth and I ended up mentally linked.

I started school and had my first run-in with an authority figure, the assistant principal. He ended up getting fired, then tried to attack Beth, Harry, and me. If a police officer hadn’t had an emergency kit to do a tracheotomy, he would have died. That’s when I found out I could move faster than a speeding bullet, because I caught the ones that had been fired at us in my bare hands.

Since I was coming into school late, the principal decided to see if I had any athletic abilities. The Hutchinson High School football team (the Salthawks) weren’t that good. I’d never played before, but this was an opportunity for me to show off for my girlfriend. Turns out I qualified as the Varsity Quarterback. It also turned out from other testing that I was too smart for high school, but the law said I had to attend at least some classes. But I also could take classes at the local community college, at the same time.

Beth and her two lifelong friends, Dora and Eve, were outcasts at the school. I rather quickly ended up dating all of them, which irritated a few people. One of the football team decided he’d redecorate a wall with my face. I moved, and he broke his fist. A bit later, someone started a rumor that I was homosexual, so a former member of the football team decided to come out to Harry’s house and attack us. I broke his arm, and was simply holding him when a police officer showed up. I may have pushed him at the police officer while waving a tire iron, so that took care of that issue permanently.

Harry ended up reconnecting with his old high school girlfriend, Emily Miller, who was vice-president of the local bank, when we started my checking and investment accounts. Due to some various things ... like Emily ending up pregnant ... I told her the truth about me. Since Dora, Eve, and Beth were all planning on moving into a modular home with me in the near future, we had to get parental permission.

Neither set of parents were happy, but the minor detail that I had also gone out and found another lost Spanish treasure, worth hundreds of millions of dollars, took care of most of their objections. It was now mid September, and I’d already played in and we’d won two football games. A lot of people were realizing that our Hutchinson Salthawk football team was going places. I also managed to salvage my spaceship and fix the computer that had safely brought me here.

Things changed for me on Earth shortly after that. Terrorists in Beirut blew up the US Embassy Annex building, and Eve’s brother was injured in that attack. I grew up under a different moral and ethical code than Earth. I made sure that things were under control at home, then put together an outfit and flew to Beirut, destroying where the terrorists had trained, and also attacking their sponsor in Iran. My powers had increased considerably, so it was quite easy to blow up lots of their military gear and kill their soldiers.

Then I came home and we won the next football game. Harry and Emily had gone on their honeymoon, so Elroy tried to be sneaky and set me up with some investment people. That included his own niece, Margie. She had an MBA from Wharton and was 25 years old. She also had an issue, in that she was so smart, men didn’t interest her. Until she met me. Literally two hours after meeting her, she was in the barn hayloft with me, fell in love with me, and was moving in with us that night.

We set up a company called CEDEM, Financial, because Elroy and his best friend from the war, Earl O’Connor, were planning on retiring. Elroy realized that with my money, I could help Reno County and Kansas like he had been doing. There was an incident at a Ponderosa restaurant, where Elroy’s daughters found out they were bastards, because Elroy was rendered sterile in the war. He only had Margie and Emily as his family to inherit, and Earl had no one because his son had died in Vietnam. They dumped it all onto me.

Under my moral code, I realized that there was only one way to make sure that my kids, when they grew up, would have a safe world, and that was to end the war. I created the Messenger from Above, went to Iran and Iraq, and pretty much destroyed most of their air forces and navies. I also left a mark in Switzerland, in front of their embassies, to end the fighting.

The minor detail that I got caught on camera freaked out a lot of people. I finally told Elroy the truth about me, and we came up with a plan where I’d go to New York City and make a demonstration at the United Nations. I flew there, called the media that I was going to appear at the UN Building, picked up two cops that were just doing their jobs, and burned a lot of marks in front of the UN Building to ‘End the Fighting’.

There was a networking company just getting started up out of Stanford University, called Cisco Systems. I wrote some software so they could be about ten years ahead of their competition. I also had millions of dollars sitting in the bank, so I invested in them. There was another company near Seattle, named Microsoft. I wrote a full spreadsheet program for them, and made it compatible with Macintosh products, not just regular IBM based PCs. And a young lady, Marcia, that was working for Microsoft has a similar response to me as Margie.

We figured that we’d need some security, and the head of Microsoft Security got us set up with the best in the business. How good they really were, I wouldn’t know until much later.

Eve’s father has a psychotic breakdown because he can’t handle that I have this much money and power.

As the Messenger from Above, I flew to Afghanistan and destroyed their poppy fields, and told the Soviet Army it was time to take their toys and go home. I made a bit of a mark in Moscow by destroying Lenin’s Tomb in about four seconds flat. I also told the head of the Soviet Union to tell Israel to plan for a meeting in Tel-Aviv between them and the leaders of the nations they were having issues with.

Syria decided they didn’t want to play, so I pretty much took care of them, including their hidden poison gas factories. I showed them I wasn’t playing around when someone tried to assassinate the leader of Lebanon. I think that crushing a rifle into a small cube, as well as throwing the assassin into the sea from ten miles away may have influenced their decision to believe in peace.

I’d also been busy buying land, because I’d taken some knowledge from my home planet and made two things. The first was a wind turbine that used magnetic bearings and would be more efficient than anything here on the planet, and the second was a chemical my Dad had created for his rocket science. I wanted to help Hutchinson and Reno County, since under my code of ethics, this was my home and as the leader of the home, it was my job to care for everyone.

I took a night off and flew to Pakistan, freeing Benazir Bhutto from captivity and making a bit of an impression that arguing with me would have fatal results. I used my heat vision and incinerated more than half the Pakistani government.

Our football team had continued the winning streak, and I was being considered possibly the best high school quarterback in the country. Some people in town weren’t happy with our lifestyle. The Baptist Preacher had been against us for quite some time, and he ended up attacking the girls and me. When I broke their legs and otherwise unmanned them, in pain, the Preacher confessed he’d been running a child molesting ring. That brought all sorts of attention to the town, so to help keep the negative publicity out of the national news, I visited China, threatened them, and then destroyed the North Korean military.

Keep in mind that meant at one point, I picked up a Soviet destroyer from out of a North Korean Harbor where they’d been trying to refuel to comply with my orders, flew it through the air a few miles, then put it back down into the sea.

At this point, I figured it was time to deal with Washington, so I flew there as the Messenger. That’s when I found out another reason Earth was so much like my former home. There was a memorial to those lost in Vietnam. I found that I could speak with the souls of the dead that were inhabiting that memorial. I went to the White House, picked up President Reagan, and brought him back to the Wall, so he would hear and hopefully beat some sense in to Congress.

Back at home, we met with people from Siemens AG, and they agreed to build a factory to make turbines in Hutchinson. I also got to meet Leon Hess and Lamar Hunt, and watch a professional football game.

Remember I said my semen helped improve Beth? It’d done the same with all of the girls, because we were having a good sex life. It also helped make all three of the younger girls much smarter, such that they were able to test out of the rest of high school, so they were starting community college as well. We all took the SAT and ACT tests, because I knew where I wanted to actually go to college.

Eve’s brother, SJ (Stephen, Junior), had been home on medical leave. He’d figured out that I was the Messenger. He thought I would kill him to protect my secret. I told him what I felt. Cal was me, and the Messenger was the secret identity. We had more money coming in, so I put SJ in charge of finding us some airplanes.

China decided that since the Messenger had said that each nation was in charge of its own borders that Taiwan was part of them, so they attacked. I showed them the error of their ways, destroying some of their attacking forces, then laying waste to about a ten mile wide swath of the country, killing more than ten million Chinese in a few seconds. I also destroyed their government. That’s when I flew to the Moon and sculpted the surface there with my mark to quit screwing around and listen to me.

After that, I talked to the government of Germany, briefly, then flew home. That was just in time to fly in an airplane to California, to meet with the people from Intel about their computer chips, and meet the people of Stanford. I took the MCAT and LSAT, passed both of those with perfect scores, and we made arrangements to live there.

We also met Marcia’s attorney, Leonard Poulson. It turns out that he knew Elroy from after the war. And Marcia was already wealthy, because her father had been the best pyrotechnics man in Hollywood. Marcia had inherited his skills, too. After an evening dinner chatting with Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, and Patrick Wayne, among others, we came back to Hutchinson. One of the things that Marcia had brought back to Kansas with her was some jewelry her father had found in a cave in Europe.

That jewelry contained gems from my home planet, and Dora’s mother being of Romany heritage and blood knew about them. Dora’s grandmother was reported to be a witch, so it was decided there’d be a meeting. I also revealed to Dora’s parents, Roberto and Esmeralda, that I was the Messenger.

She called me the ‘Guardian from Earth’ and said I was the answer to a millennia old legend.

That’s the end of Book One. Pretty neat, huh? Don’t worry, it gets even more complex!

Now for the brief (!) synopsis of Book Two

So, I’m apparently the ‘Guardian of Earth’, which was some kind of Romany prophecy. At least they didn’t freak out about it.

The freak out came from everyone when Elroy explained the secret that John Ely, the head of the Law School at Stanford, had told us about Elroy. He and Earl had both been investigating attorneys for the Warren Commission in trying to find out the truth about the JFK assassination.

But the freaking out wasn’t over yet. Jennifer had recently found out that she had an aggressive form of breast cancer. She’d already sort of fallen for me, even more so once her husband went nuts and even better, she’d found out he was part of the child molester ring. She decided that it was time to have some fun in her life before cancer killed her. Things pretty well progressed like you think they did, but there was a bit of a difference this time. This time there were five girls who were enhanced by my semen that were also involved, and as we’d found out before, a prostrate massage really stimulated me.

My semen definitely enhanced Jennifer. It did a DNA cleanse of her, so no more cancer. It fixed her tubal ligation, so she could (and did) get pregnant. And it also genetically reverted her back to about seventeen, so that other than a difference in freckle pattern, she and Eve were now identical twins. With relatively little trouble, since pretty much everyone in Hutchinson knew how smart I was, we got Jennifer released from her contract to teach, got her a new driver’s license, and picked up Toby, who recognized her immediately, even though Eve was with us.

That was when we found out that Staff Sergeant Tobias Kennedy, USMC, and deceased for the last four years, was living on in Toby and helping his otherwise mentally challenged grandson. So pretty much anything we did was known to Tobias, and he helped Toby understand things.

When we’d gone to New York to deal with Siemens, one of the things the girls had done was take me to a professional football game. That gave me contacts with Leon Hess, of Hess Oil, and owner of the New York Jets, and Lamar Hunt, owner of the Kansas City Chiefs and also an oilman. We’d managed to help Hunt’s brothers out of their monetary crunch they’d gotten into trying to corner the silver market by purchasing two jets from them, so they could take the loss. We started plans on getting refinery equipment for commercial production of the Ice-X.

I’d already visited Pakistan and dealt with their government, putting Benazir Bhutto back in charge after I incinerated most of the existing assholes. I made a trip to India, because they were acting up, and didn’t believe I was real. Saving Indira Gandhi from being assassinated by her own guards changed her mind about me, and also about working to peacefully resolve issues with Pakistan.

Once I was done with that, I stopped in and said hi to the Soviets. They surprised me by completely agreeing with me, as well as working to help the Orthodox Church. After that, I flew to Washington and destroyed the CIA. I’m not cruel if I don’t need to be. I let most of the people out before I melted the entire complex into slag. After that, I came back to Kansas and went trick or treating with Toby.

Seems I made a bit of an impression. The US Army and Soviet Army started working together to remove the Berlin Wall and remove the border minefields between East and West Germany. Walter Mondale effectively withdrew from the presidential election. And with me being dressed not just in a costume, but in the actual outfit that Ricardo Montalbán wore as Khan in the Star Trek movie, Toby got a lot of candy.

SJ and Elroy had gone to the Boeing factory to look at a 737-200 that they had available for sale because the government dictator that had ordered it wasn’t alive any longer. They’d also taken some Ice-X for Boeing to play with, and to see if they liked it. Remember I said I’d goofed with some measurements when I landed here? This was another one of those times. It worked, preventing freezing and icing, and acting like a coat of painted on insulating material down to about 11 degrees. Kelvin. That meant that a simple coat of Ice-X on the inside of a container was enough to hold either liquid oxygen or liquid hydrogen. That meant a lot of weight savings for rockets, which was probably why my Dad had invented the stuff in the first place.

I hadn’t actually considered the other applications, such as simply painting the buildings at the South Pole, so they’d become a lot more livable. Or anything in northern Alaska or Canada or Russia. We suddenly had orders for tens of thousands of gallons, and didn’t even have the factory built yet. Our test wind turbine exceeded expectations, so Siemens was happy, too.

Dora’s grandmother showed up from Mexico. She’d been known as a witch. We found out why. As the ‘Queen of the Gypsies’, she had some powers of her own. She also had a devices that helped enhance her power, that was similar in properties to the devices we’d found in Marcia’s parents basement. Upon analysis, my computer found out they were from my home world, and I quickly collected the total of six of them that I could detect.

They were medical devices, solid state computers designed to heal people from my home world. Upon testing them, we found out that they could also ‘enhance’ people here that were already ahead of the game by having been exposed to my semen. That meant Beth got powers like I have, just not as strong. The other thing that we found was that there were some coincidences happening, such as my name matching the name of the language of the Romany. I’d made things up when I was talking to people about the Messenger from Above. Turns out I wasn’t, because the Indian god Shiva was from my home planet.

Toby, or Tobias, told me there were other stones out there, but they wouldn’t be available for a couple of years. My three youngest started taking classes at HCC because they’d been enhanced intellectually enough they were passing out of their own high school classes. We won another football game, which meant we’d play in the post-season, and I found a girlfriend for SJ.

We had the official groundbreaking ceremonies for all the facilities, plus a museum of Hollywood memorabilia in honor of Marcia’s parents, and then a big presentation at the HCC sports arena afterwards. We passed out a bunch of gold coins as souvenirs for those who showed up, and I gave an interview with the Wall Street Journal that would later on open a lot of doors for me. Something that was happening behind the scenes that I didn’t know a lot about were that the donations we’d made to the Marines Toys for Tots Program had impressed a lot of people. Some of these people were the same ones that were trying to figure out what to do with military equipment and bases they weren’t going to need anymore, due to the breakout of peace throughout most of the world.

Net result of that was we started getting ‘toys’. Excess military hardware, like armored personnel carriers, jeeps, construction equipment, airplanes, helicopters, and both Fort Riley and Vance Air Force Base.

We had a nice party at our house to celebrate our winning season, and our security got to scare two would-be kidnappers and rapists that tried to sneak past them into confessing to all their crimes. Marcia decided that she wanted to have my baby, to join Margie and Jennifer, so she stopped her pills and things worked out quickly for her that way. We also had an IRS field agent show up that we ended up hiring as our chief accountant.

I had a bit of a shit-fit when my business partners tried to put some restrictions on me, which almost caused one of my security guards to get fired. But that ended up working out okay, because Elroy had a bigger one than I did. Also, it seemed that my message to the people while I was in my uniform about their representatives not helping Reagan didn’t deserve re-election hit home. I started helping train Beth with her powers as best I could, since I was still learning about my own.

Our football team won our first post-season game without me playing, and I got to learn how to drive a Marine LAV – light amphibious vehicle afterwards. The next day, there was a party where I got introduced to what people here called spicy food. We found another coincidence, when Dora’s grandmother made some salsa using a pepper that was from India, where the Romany originated, that had the same name as one my mother used to use. That helped confirm something my computer had told me, about our planet being the one that colonized this planet more than two hundred thousand years ago.

I trained Beth a little more, then we both flew south, to Cancun, Mexico. We weren’t in our uniforms, so we ate a meal locally and made a great impression on the locals. When we were leaving, some local gang members decided to rob us. That didn’t work well for them. Beth ran out of power on the way home, and we found that I could use the medical devices to transfer some of my power to her.

Once I knew she was fine, I made a visit to the Vatican. I was sort of rude to the Pope, but I made up for that later. I also confirmed to him that Jesus existed, rose from the dead, but the reason he did so wasn’t because of miracles. It was because he’d been genetically modified by one of my healing stones. After giving him a mission, I flew up to London. While there, I found they had a place with thousands of souls from soldiers that’d died serving King and Country.

I decided it was time to shake their cabinet up, so I busted in on their Parliament, threw their Mace into the head of one of their members that happened to be a child molester, and basically told them to get their shit together. I thought I’d give the American Congress the same message. Apparently, they decided that with the elections over, it was time to go home. I was a bit upset about that and made a televised broadcast that got their attention. I did get to meet Walter Mondale, and since he’d volunteered on the night before the election, I officially made him my Ambassador and gave him the Mace I’d taken from England.

Jennifer’s doctor was amazed by her changes, since he’d planned on cancer treatments in the very near future. Beth and I went for a trip, ending up in Australia, where we found Helen Awarai. Uluru, or as the White Man called it, Ayers Rock, was also a place where souls resided. They knew about Shiva, and were descended from people that had fought against him. We made arrangements to meet them at Disney World, after our state championship game. After quite a bit of discussion, we gave the same upgrades to Eve and Dora that Beth had.

Some countries started withdrawing from the United Nations, citing the Messenger. The US Congress called a special session to start hearings against President Reagan. Beth and I flew to Washington, met up with Ronald and Walter, and took a trip to the Capitol. Walter got to use his new mace a couple of times, I literally bashed some heads in, and using evidence that Mike (the computer) had found, showed there was a conspiracy to take over the country using assassinations and certain Congressional leaders knew about it. That engendered even more trust and cooperation between the Soviet Union and the United States.

Beth and I went back to Kansas, we won the state championship football game, and then the family went to Disney World. We spent two weeks in Florida, officially met Helen and her family, and she ended up in a family way. I got to visit NASA, and the scientists there were glad to meet me and learn about Ice-X.

I took Dora and Eve on a training mission like I had with Beth, but they were stronger than she was at this point. We found a few thousand pounds of Nazi gold, which made Marcia upset, for obvious reasons. Earl and Elroy ended up marrying Helen’s mother, Gloria, in a native ceremony, then brought Gloria’s youngest daughter, Holly, back from Australia. Turns out that Holly naturally has some of my powers.

We had a nice Christmas celebration, and I flew back to Vatican City and apologized to the Pope for being an ass.

Jennifer and I went back to Florida, for the Wackenhut Security Christmas party. We met a lot of important people, including some of the people behind the conspiracy to kill the President. Our plan to take the person that they were trying to insert into our party and turn her into our agent worked too well, and Hannah Rothschild ended up falling in love with me. I ended up fighting against some assassins hired by an Arab banking sheikh to get out of paying off his son’s wager. I won, but I got injured myself.

The sheikh tried to poison us all, which turned out to be a fatal mistake for him, as the Saudi Crown Prince was eating with us as well. After that, Hannah’s father showed up and after an interesting confrontation with Elroy, Jennifer shot and killed him. The next day, we got to meet the King of Saudi Arabia, and then returned to Kansas.

Where we immediately left for the US – Mexican border. I’d sensed trouble on Christmas, regarding our family that lived in Mexico. Something had been set into motion while Jennifer and I were in Florida, and we ended up rescuing about four thousand people. Hannah had not been made aware of the truth about me until that night. When she found out, she declared that I was her God.

Whew! Obviously, there’s a LOT of things I left out. Like meeting Arnold Palmer, killing some Ku Klux Klan members, and such.

Again, 861,500 words, into 5,290. Drum roll, please! And now, without further ado, book three of my autobiography.

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