Chapter 2

Faye is suddenly shy. Embarrassed. Blushing. What did I say to discomfit her? Should I apologize for being insensitive? I must be insensitive because if I don’t even know what I shouldn’t have said, that’s obtuse at least! Now I’m embarrassed too. Feelings are something I’m completely unqualified to tinker with. I look at Faye shamefaced and shudder a shrug in a confused nonverbal admission of incompetence. She gives me a commiserating look in return. Well, this is an interesting exchange. My optimism has increased with our current success in nonverbal communication. We may be quite compatible after all. I’ve long hoped someday I would meet a female type person who could be my soulmate. I never qualified they must be attractive. Faye is an extraordinary find! Compatible it seems and extremely attractive. And lonely, possibly needy. I’m smiling cheerfully. Faye grins back.

“The only time I think I’ve eaten lobster was from a $1 plastic-wrapped lobster eggroll at a dollar store. Does lobster taste like cabbage? The eggroll did.”

“Eggrolls all taste like cabbage regardless of the advertised flavor in my experience. Again in my opinion lobster does not, should not taste like cabbage and gratefully does not in my experience.”

“Oh, then I’m glad and I’d be happy to sample some lobster with you. How many lobsters do you think we need?”

“A minimum of a dozen is a good round number, I suggest. I intend to swap most of the lobsters to a restaurant in exchange for at least one night’s supper dining privilege for us.”

“I thought you were the chef who would be cooking for us?”

“I will cook the lobsters but first I need access to a kitchen and dining room. I only have a forge for heat and to cook on in my shop. Works fine for pizza and baked goods like casseroles. Lobster should be poached. I suppose with a large enough kettle it could be done using the forge as a heat source but serving and dining on my workbench is not the ambiance I want for you. I want our first date to be memorable and pleasurable and not recalled as disastrous. Footnoted: Never again!”

“That’s sweet of you. Does it have to be a restaurant?” “No. Not de rigor. But other options don’t readily come to mind. My mind is limited in dining experiences.”

“I could perhaps ask my grandparents if we could cook and eat at their house?”

“That’s quite an imposition to ask. You must be the judge of how that request would be received. I’d frankly be too timid to ask anyone, no matter how closely related if I could stink up their home with boiling seafood.”

“Does it stink very bad?”

“I was taught to add a stalk of celery to the poaching liquid when boiling any crustaceans indoors. The celery perfumes the air but it’s similar to using perfume in an attempt to mask sweaty funky armpits. Doesn’t wash. Meaning, not completely successful. But forgive me for being a boorish card. I’m socially inept and unpracticed. I almost fumbled the essential point. Let me recover ungraceful as I am. Thank you for suggesting it and I’d love to be introduced to your family. So soon I’m already invited to meet the family? Is our friendship maturing at a hyperrate of speed? Unnaturally fast do you think? Um, what shall we name our firstborn? Too hasty to list preferences?”

“I’m sorry for laughing but you are hilarious. Yes, too soon to consider children’s names, way too soon for that, for sure! Remember where we are as suitable for an explanation. This is the library where time ebbs and flows in strange eddy so nothing should surprise us ... But it’s time. I’d really like you to meet my grandparents. They raised me. They’re mom and dad to me. They’re all the family I have. I’m also like you, a social misfit so don’t feel pregnant. Heeheehee! Poor word choice. Forgive me.”

“Let’s make a pact.” I suggested giving her time to recover from blushing, “Faux pas are passed over with a chuckle or giggle. Automatically forgiven, apologies not expected. Deal?” I took her hand, patting it.

“Deal” She agreed.

And Faye impetuously kissed me on my cheek. Do I faint?

“Oh my! Do I faint? I’ve never ever been kissed before. What’s the protocol? An appropriate reaction? I’m lost again in good manners mystery ignorance.”

Faye kissed me on my mouth. Okay, I know what to do in this instance. Kiss back! Our arms intuitively hugged around each other. Amazingly easy to adapt to this new situation ... intuitively or maybe because seen in movies ... the howto of having a girlfriend. I’m a quick study. If I’m not good at it, I’m at least comfortable with my amateur efforts.