Chapter 35 - Burnout

Craig burst through the door of the busy restroom outside the Fortune. He was only there to splash some cold water on his face and gather his senses. He’d just finished one of the most intense things he’d ever done in his life, and all he felt was terrified.

He ran the tap and cupped some water into his hands. He closed his eyes and splashed himself. This couldn’t be real. Whatever this voice was, it wasn’t real.

“Nah, I am, “ it said, and Craig yelped in surprise. Other people in the restroom eyed him nervously and hurried out. The voice was as loud in Craig’s head as if someone was standing next to him, which was exactly what the presence was doing in the mirror. He looked closer. His hair had the same fade as his did, his eyes were lighter like his mom’s had been. He was staring at Craig with one hand on his hip, his body cocked in an annoyed way that he painfully recognized as similar to how his mom would stand when Craig tried giving her excuses.

“Why is this happening?” he asked.

“Fuck if I know. We share a head, dummy. If you ain’t know, how the hell would I?”

Craig blinked.

“Ok, yeah that makes sense, I guess, “ he muttered, “You say you the part that died with her. What’s that mean?”

The man shrugged, and Craig felt his uncertainty, “I guess I don’t fully understand it, least not yet. It’s new to me, too.”

“OK, why you sound exactly like dad?”

“Oh and you don’t?”

Craig grimaced, “I ain’t sound like him!”

“You ain’t speak like him, “ the alter corrected, “but you sound like him. And hell, even if you didn’t, you sure let his voice live in here rent-free enough that I gotta listen to it all the time anyway.”

“Fine, “ he muttered, “So if alcohol kept you locked up, why ain’t it working now?”

Craig felt the trauma that came with this statement, and felt pang of guilt.

“I don’t know, but it sure ain’t for lack of trying, “ the alter chastised him, “Hell, even the psychohol ain’t doing shit right now.”

Craig glowered, ready to retort, but stopped as he considered his words. There was something funny about that. He’d taken psychohol before even going on stage and he barely felt anything at all. All day, he’d been drinking and it was having absolutely no effect on him. He’d just thought it was the nerves before performing, but now it was genuinely scaring him.

“I’ll admit, I been anxious about it, too, “ the voice said. It made Craig deeply uncomfortable that he was responding to feelings Craig hadn’t even voiced, “Not that I’m complaining. We could do with some sobriety.”

He went to retort to this, but was cut off when the bathroom door opened and Erylara stepped in, his golden leaves bristling as he saw Craig.

“Ah, there you are!” the lean kaiseichan said as he saw Craig. Craig and the voice both felt a simultaneous sense of unease being alone with him. “Paige asked me to come in here and check on you. Hell of a show!” he paused as he took Craig in, “You, uh ... you alright there?”

“Yeah,” Craig muttered, “I’m fine. Just ... a fun existential crisis. Be out in a sec.”

Erylara shrugged and walked over to a basin in the floor that was filled with needles and leaves. They gave themselves a few good shakes and loose leaves from all over their body fell and joined the pile on the floor. They grabbed what looked like a sap tap and held it around their midsection, but paused.

“Hey, you mind looking away? I don’t watch you dribble your fluids all over the place, pal.”

Craig turned beet red and turned away. “Yeah, no problem, I’ll get out of here.” they turned to go, but then an idea struck them and they paused.

“Craig, no!” the voice urged, his anger and disappointment rising. Craig ignored it, and glanced around to see if they were alone.

“Hey, uh, you got any more of that stuff from last night?” he asked. He heard the lumbering footsteps as Erylara walked to the sink and began washing his limbs. They were alone now.

“I might,” Erylara replied, “But I aint giving out free samples anymore.”

“OK, so how much?”

“A thousand a pop,” the kaiseichan replied, “Ten K for a bang. Though, given how well you handled a pop last night, I’d stick with that.”

Craig furrowed his brow. Paige had said accel made other substances more effective, which he had certainly felt the night before. Given that nothing else seemed be affecting him very strong right now, did he wanna spend a thousand dollars just to feel nothing? Or ten to guarantee something?