Chapter 21

Elroy chuckled. “I’m going to make a guess that you didn’t know some of those pictures were taken, then?”

“That’s ... damn! I know this is a swimsuit issue, and I’ve never been anything but professional with the girls, even when we were in Florida, but ... I can’t wait to find out Mike’s reaction when he sees four of his professional security officers laying on the beach with sand on their wet butts, while aiming their rifles at a ‘threat’.”

“Well, put your eyes back in their sockets, and let’s go over what they did publish, as far as their interview with you. I need to make sure they didn’t take anything out that they shouldn’t have, or put anything in, either. I know you can read it in a half a second. Let’s do this at my pace, please. I want to make certain that I know what you were thinking, too.”

“Yes, Sir. The article is titled, ‘Stanford’s Unconventional Quarterback’. They gave me permission to wear stuff like a Stanford t-shirt, and have a generic football and helmet on, for pictures.”

“I’m not worried about that. That’s Elizabeth bent over playing center, isn’t it?”

“You can’t tell from the legs? Of course. Granted, I thought it was a little cheesy for her to be bent over like that, with everything stretched taut, while I’m looking to one side with a big smile on my face, but still ... it does fit.”

“Makes you look like a pervert is what it does. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’ve seen them all in swimsuits, and less, as you well know, and ... I’m very happy I’m married to Gloria, and I’ll leave everything else alone. It’s unusual for them to have writing on the first page of a special insert, but they did it throughout.”

“That was Marcia’s idea. That way it’d actually look more like a Playboy shoot, than a regular Sports Illustrated shoot. ‘To use a line that Mel Brooks made famous, ‘It’s good to be the King.’ Permission was received from the famous actor to use that line, and in a very short time, by one of the girlfriends of the Stanford Cardinal quarterback for the 1985 season, California Lewis. While this is the first time that Cal has graced our pages, based on expectations, we doubt it’ll be the last’. Yeah, that was my opening paragraph.”

“Next page,” Elroy said. “Obviously, that’s a standard AP photo from when you won the Kansas State Championships. Where’d they get the aerial picture of Hutchinson?”

“From ABC. ‘Cal Lewis led the Salthawks of Hutchinson, Kansas, to an undefeated season in 1984. He set a new ‘yards in the air’ passing record that surpassed any high school, college, or professional throw in that game. But he’s not just a football player, he’s an entrepreneur and wealthy businessman, as well. His investment company, CEDEM Financial, has partnered with Siemens to build wind turbines, with Microsoft to research computer software, with Cisco to build computer networking equipment, and he outright owns Ice-X, the revolutionary new chemical that prevents ice from forming on a surface that’s been painted with it,’” I read. “Speaking of that, we need another Ice-X plant built in India, in the Punjab region. We’ll need a Siemens turbine plant there, too. I’ve secured the Chinese market for those, already.”

Elroy sighed. “So I’ve heard. That’s a nice picture of some of your jets in the commuter livery and of Salthawk One on the other page.”

“Yeah. ‘Many investment companies have to make arrangements for their transportation needs. CEDEM owns its own commuter airline already, as well as a private jet for Cal and his family. Salthawk One is a Boeing 737-200 commercial jetliner that has been modified inside for comfort. They even have their own pilots and ground crews.’ Okay, that last line was mine, but ... shit. I never asked Cassandra and Mary to pose in swimsuits while draped over the wheels or laying on the wings.”

“You say they’re lesbians? It doesn’t show.”

“No. They’ve been nothing but consummate professionals. Okay, flipping the page. ‘Of course, going to Stanford means taking classes and getting degrees. Here’s where Cal has blown the curve. He’s an incoming freshman – sort of. This is his first quarter of classes, but he already had earned more than a dozen Associate degrees while still in high school. He also tested out of the requirements for eight bachelor’s degrees. As you can see, he’s already dealing with classroom work, where he’s working on his law degree.’ They took those pictures in my law class,” I said. “I didn’t want them taking pictures in my lab, because we do have formulas and such on whiteboards there.”

“I don’t think it’ll make much difference, though,” Elroy said.

“Probably not. ‘We didn’t get any pictures of him in the lab. But there’s not very many first year students who have two full professors and four graduate students working as his assistants in the lab. Actually, that’s wrong. It’s his lab. Stanford took a chemistry lab and assigned it to Cal, for his use. Not many sixteen-year-old incoming students would get that handed to them. Of course, not many sixteen-year-old incoming students are also worth slightly more than half the nations on the planet, combined. As of this writing, that’s in excess of fifty billion dollars.’ I didn’t tell her how much in excess it was.”

“That’s gross wealth, anyway, not net,” Elroy said. “Granted, your net’s going to get there quickly. I’m curious about Mike’s thoughts on the next page.”

“Yeah. At least we saw them all in swimsuits in Florida, so it’s not quite as much of a shock as Cassandra and Mary. ‘For security purposes, we weren’t allowed to take pictures of, or inside his residence. He uses the same private security group that guards the nuclear arsenal of the United States, though, and those guards have similar orders. Even these ladies, when we were taking pictures, remained armed and deadly at all times.’ Okay. That last line, they added, but I can’t get angry about it, because I didn’t know they had those pictures. Something about a woman in a bikini with a rifle and pistol, isn’t there?”

He laughed. “Look at a couple of those pictures. I think Angela and Jenny are only wearing bottoms in them, just the weapons are strategically placed.”

I groaned. “Stock and magazine covering the naughty bits that they can’t show. You know I’ve always respected their privacy and not peeked at any of them, not once.”

I turned the page. “That’s a great picture of the mothers-to-be.”

“What’s going to outrage people is that they’re not all white, you know,” Elroy said.

“Like I give a shit? ‘There’s another reason behind the security as well. Cal isn’t just a college student, or a financial investor. The governments of both India and Pakistan recognize him as the lawful Prince of the Punjab region of both their nations, and are working to separate the Punjab from their countries, so it can become its own official nation. When that happens, he will be the ruler of that country. Of course, that’s not everything. The Indigenous People of Australia and the Aleuts of Alaska have also chosen him to be their lawful King. There is now a region, ninety thousand square miles, right in the middle of Australia, that is recognized by the Australian government and more importantly, by the United States, the Soviet Union, and Great Britain as being an autonomous nation within and part of, Australia. And Cal is King.’ That’s how I wrote it.”

“I’m surprised that they took the trick from Playboy for the next page,” Elroy said.

Turning the page and looking, I said, “I don’t think they could have fit us all on one page, or even a two page spread. I know when Allison took this one, it was starting to get a little chilly.”

“You can’t tell that, not at all,” Elroy sarcastically said. “Just sixteen nearly naked women, all gazing at you in the middle, with total and complete adoration in their eyes, and nipples so hard you could cut glass with them.”

“That’s a great picture of Jennifer on the back of the fold-out page. ‘Of course, if you’ve read this magazine lately, you’ve seen our coverage of the only woman who currently plays golf on the PGA Tour, and more impressively, is winning those tournaments, Jennifer Lewis. In addition, Cal has his own financial wizard, Margaret Lewis, his own Hollywood production wizard, Marcia Lewis, his own Priestess, Helen Awarai, and his own connection to old money, Hannah Rothschild. If you watched anything on the solving of the JFK murder, you’ll remember that Jennifer is who killed Nathaniel Charles Jacob Rothschild, who was Hannah’s father. His high-school sweethearts also attend Stanford. Beth Watson, Dora Menendez, and Eve Kennedy. No, you’re not seeing double. Eve is Jennifer’s daughter.’ I had to be careful, I should have chosen different names for somebody’s followers.”

“Yes, you should have.”

I flipped through the rest of the article. “Good pictures of the eight Indian girls, too. ‘In addition, due to his status as the Prince of the Punjab, Cal also has eight body servants. Mahi, Saryu, and Kareena are all Hindu Indians. Niranjana and Sukhjeet are Punjabi. Shinkai and Mina are Pashtun. Jasveer, who also works as Jennifer’s caddie, is Sikh. When Stanford takes the field this fall, the gridiron will be ruled by King Cal Lewis and the rest of the Cardinal team.’ I like it, and the pictures they used. They had so many more that they took that they didn’t use. We have copies of all of them, too.”

The last page had a picture I wasn’t expecting. The center was a picture of me, that I didn’t remember even posing for. I know when it happened. I had just left the changing room, and was standing, watching the girls. I was standing still, my hands in fists, on my hips, just looking at them. You could see the wind was slightly whipping my hair. The rest of the page was a series of sixteen pictures, surrounding me with my ladies faces, close up. Helen was wearing her makeup in that one, so the seven triangles contrasting with her skin were quite evident. It wasn’t part of the article, but they’d captioned the page as, ‘The King and his consorts’.

“I’m ... well, not married to, but you may as well call it that ... anyway, they really are some beautiful women, aren’t they?”

“That they are, Son, that they are. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

I laughed at that. “Elroy, I’ve been making this up since I first met Harry. Oh, speaking of Harry, two things. One, the whole ‘I own Ice-X’ is the chemical, not the plant and what it produces. That’s still his, I just said it this way due to tax purposes. The other is, when you see him, tell him we got some autographs for him from ‘Dirty Harry’ yesterday at the tournament. Clint’s not jealous that Harry has that gun, he’s amused that it now belongs to someone whose name is Harry. He also said it was a bitch to fire one handed.”

“I know he’s put a few rounds through it, but I can about imagine that.” Elroy sighed. “Well, I mostly wanted to make sure that we weren’t going to have to deal with a sexual harassment lawsuit from your pilots or guards. Have a good afternoon, Son.”

“Thanks, Grandpa.”

Once I hung the phone up, I went in for a short lunch. All of the girls were looking at the pictures in the magazine. Jennifer looked up at me. “Thank you, my love.”

That made me stop short. “You’re welcome, but for what?”

“This.” She pointed at the page with only her picture on it. “You’ll think I’m a foolish woman, but ... it’s one thing for the members of your family to tell you how great you look. Even when we were taking these pictures, I didn’t get it. Now, I do.”

“Mom, you know we’ve been telling you that all along.”

“Yes, but you telling me that, and it actually totally, fully sinking in so that it becomes a part of my core, are two different things. I’ve already been so happy that I can play golf now, truly play the game. I’ve just always had ... well, call it just a bit of Catholicism, and leave it at that ... giving me just a faint doubt. Now ... now, looking at these pictures, I can truly understand what Hannah and Dora felt and why they acted that way towards you. That centerfold ... we all feel it.”

Margie nodded. “Of course we do. To a lesser extent, everyone that’s in our circle does. I know we figured out that you’re not actually putting out any kind of pheromones, but I wonder ... Mycroft, is Cal maybe emitting some kind of radiation he’s unaware of, that could be affecting everyone around him?”

“I don’t know, Margie. I’ll have to re-calibrate my sensors to check for that. It’s an interesting hypothesis.”

“It’ll have to wait, I need to get to the lab.”

I headed out, this week with Chuck as my guard. He was quiet as we rode along, so I decided I’d poke the bear. “Awfully quiet over there. No comments, maybe about some of the pictures in the latest Sports Illustrated?”

“No. Why would there be? I suspect we’ll get a few more people applying for jobs with Wackenhut. Don’t forget that, other than the girls from India, and even then they weren’t wearing much ... and your pilots ... I’ve already seen all of those women in either the same thing, or in the case of my team, even less. They’re all family to me.”

“What are you not saying, though? Remember, I can hear your heart beating.”

“Sometimes you’re a pain in the ass, you know that? You’re one lucky son of a bitch. You’ve got some of the most gorgeous women on the planet that love you. I can’t be jealous of you, but I can admire you for it.”

“See? Was that so hard?”

“The proper term at this point is difficult. I’m still human, and yes, it was hard.”

The three of us laughed a little at his joke, relieving the tension. Then we went into the lab, where we started off where we’d stopped on Friday. The rest of the day and evening made me think we were going to get back into the routine.

That thought came to a screeching halt Tuesday morning in Constitutional Law.

Everyone turned in their papers, even though they weren’t due until Thursday. Even the slow people had learned their lesson.

“Very good. I’m going to diverge from the lesson plan for the day today. It’s not often that we have an actual example of a question regarding the Constitutionality of the actions of a member of this class come up. It has happened in the past, just so you know it’s not something unique. For those of you ... well, let me go about this slightly differently. Is there anyone in here who has not read, or at least heard of, the interview in this week’s Swimsuit Edition of Sports Illustrated?”

Two of the women in the class raised their hands. The assistants walked up with copies of the interview, only, and handed them one. A couple of guys smirked, and pulled out their copies of the magazine for reference.

“No, that won’t do. Put those up. We’re not concerned with the images, only the actual content. Go ahead, pass one out to everyone.” Once that was done, he continued.

“Now then, pictorial aside, and with Mister Lewis remaining silent until I call upon him, let’s hear some comments about what he said, and what was said regarding his status under our Constitution. Yes?” He pointed at one of the two women that hadn’t seen it before.

“Just reading this, presuming things are as stated, I see no issues with his status.”

“Elucidate, please, for those in here who appear to disagree with you.”

“It’s just ... there’s nothing in the Constitution against taking a foreign title. The US government can’t issue one and neither can state governments, but Indians and Pakistanis are free to decide he’s their Prince. Grace Kelly remained a US citizen after she married Prince Rainier. She had all the rights, privileges, and powers of being the Princess of Monaco, until she was killed in that accident three years ago.”

“I see a lot of disappointed faces out there, and yet there are still some who appear to be intrigued. You.” He pointed at one of the men in the class.

“I can’t quite see that. The thing that bothers me isn’t so much that he’s a Prince. It’s that citizens of the United States could just select someone as their King. With what Judy just said regarding Princess Grace, sure. That’s a foreign country. But how could it be Constitutional for Americans to have a King?”

“The same way it would be for my people, Bart, presuming he doesn’t have to deal with the Bureau of Indian Affairs anymore, like we still do. Our sovereignty was recognized by the Constitution. Article One, section eight, clause three: The Congress shall have the power to regulate commerce with foreign nations, and among the several states, and with the Indian Tribes. We had the choice of whether or not we wanted to be citizens, even, because the Fourteenth Amendment didn’t count untaxed Indians as part of the population of a state or the nation. It wasn’t until Congress decided to force us to become citizens, whether we wanted to become one or not, that our own sovereignty came into question. And then, of course, all the legislation since then, trying to force us to assimilate instead of respecting us.”

Bart said, “Okay, Doctor Bear, objection withdrawn, you’re correct.”

“Bart, we’ve talked about this before. My name is Daniel Running Bear.”

Before things could get out of control, the professor said, “That’ll be enough. Mister Shelton, you now owe me a twenty page paper, due Thursday, regarding indigenous Americans and their Constitutional issues. Mister Running Bear, you are correct to a certain extent. However, you missed that the Indigenous People of Australia consider him their King, and he has both physical territory to rule and international recognition from that. The people from Alaska simply recognize him as their sovereign, in addition to, and not in exclusion of, the people from Australia. Similar to two different groups of Cherokees, those in South Carolina and those in Oklahoma, agreeing upon the same person to lead them. Obviously different, since we’re dealing with international issues as well.”

Another hand went up in back. At his nod, the man said, “I realize that we’re studying the US Constitution, but how can Cal have multiple wives, and body servants? Are those even legal in the US?”

“Yes, Mister Shelton, do you wish to try to redeem yourself?” the professor asked.

“If he’s the sovereign of a foreign nation, then our government has to respect the laws of his own land. It specifically states that his status as Prince of the Punjab is where the eight body servants come from. Under the status of their culture, they effectively are his slaves, but not like we consider slaves here. I found out way too much about that when my Dad was stationed in Bombay. He could ... well ... sorry, Cal, I was going to say that you could have a whole harem and there’s nothing the government could do, but you sort of do. There’s no offense intended by that statement.”

“Ten pages, Mister Shelton. Nicely done, and deserving of an appropriate reward.”

The other student said, “That still doesn’t answer the question of how he can be married to three women. It was a Constitutional issue regarding freedom of religion when the Government banned polygamy in the Utah territory, and legislation was passed regarding that issue that later went to the Supreme Court. There are also state laws against that practice in every state.”

“Yes, Miss Keller? You have a rebuttal?”

“Two, actually, but I also know a bit more about Cal that’s not covered in the article. Cal is a member of the Saudi Royal family as well, which is not mentioned in the article. Polygamy is allowed in Saudi Arabia. We certainly don’t try to arrest King Fahd when he visits the United States, and he has multiple wives. But the other key thing is that he’s not legally married to any of the ladies in the article. You’re making an assumption based upon incomplete evidence.”

Shelton blurted out, “They went to court and changed their last names!”

“I’m shocked, Mister Shelton. You’ve done something I didn’t think possible. You redeemed yourself completely.”

Shelton almost wriggled in his seat like a puppy being petted. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Mister Lewis, do you have anything to add, before we return to our previously scheduled class discussion?”

“Two things, Sir. One is that everything written in the article is true. I know, I wrote it myself. The second is something my Grandfather has said. At times, the law is an ass. Daniel’s people were here first, and the United States Constitution recognized that. It’s whether or not the laws passed by Congress since then that is subject to interpretation. I consider the actions of the United States regarding the Indigenous population and the religious group known as Mormons to be morally equivalent to those of the religious police enforcing Sharia Law in Islamic nations. The law of the land is the Constitution. The application and enforcement of the Constitution has been bastardized by the actions of men and women ever since.”

Daniel Running Bear sat in his seat, stunned for a moment at my words. Then he began applauding. The professor held his hand up to forestall any further breakdown. He looked at me, then raised his eyes to the rest of the class.

“There will be no paper assigned next Monday. I’m really not kidding here. I want, by next Thursday, papers from each of you regarding your choice of subject where the actions of Congress or the laws they have made, violate the Constitution, and nothing has been done about it. Minimum thirty pages.”

“Now then, back to our discussion.”

During our break between classes, I saw Bart go up and personally apologize to Daniel, which I thought was appropriate.

Beth made a point of catching me. “Be ready for a grilling on diplomatic immunity. We spent half the period on it. I got the feeling someone isn’t happy with your status.” She gave me a quick kiss, then went on.

Once class started, the professor didn’t waste any time.

“One of the things we have to deal with in Criminal Law is a rather unique status that some individuals have, regarding whether or not they necessarily have to obey either civil or criminal laws, and that is diplomatic immunity.”

He went on for a few minutes about it, but it wasn’t bad. Then he looked at me and asked, “So, my budding defense attorney. We have discussed various levels of crimes. You have a client who is the head of a diplomatic mission that was caught with a gun in his hand who was witnessed pulling the gun out and shooting someone on the street. What is your defense at his trial?”

“I request clarification. Is this the formal head of a diplomatic mission, or is this the sovereign head of state of another nation?”

“Head of state,” he replied.

“Then there is no defense, as there can be no trial. While someone with diplomatic immunity is generally expected to conform to local law, they do not necessarily have to do so. In this case, waiver can only be granted by the nation that sent the diplomat. The leader of a diplomatic mission could have his country grant a waiver for prosecution. However, the sovereign head of state is his country, and as such, his persona is inviolate. The nation that the action was committed in could ask him to leave, but he is not otherwise subject to their laws.”

He leaned back against the counter at the front of the room. “So, you’re saying that Queen Elizabeth could come in here, pull out a pistol, shoot someone, and she would not be subject to arrest here?”

“If she did so, she would be subject to waiver. She is the sovereign of the United Kingdom, but the Parliaments of the individual nations of the United Kingdom actually govern themselves. She herself does not have the power of high or low justice in the nations that make up the Commonwealth. However, King Fahd of Saudi Arabia could do so, as he is the sovereign and sole owner of Saudi Arabia. While Saudi Arabia follows Islamic Law, the King is the ultimate authority there.”

“You used an interesting choice of words there. The high and low justice. What does that mean? More precisely, what do you think it means?”

“Low justice is the everyday justice. Did you violate a traffic law? Were you caught shoplifting? Did you get drunk and into a fight? From a criminal perspective, the level of a misdemeanor offense, something that can be settled in traffic court or lower courts here. Middle justice is seldom mentioned, but that would be lower end felonies. Armed robbery, grand theft auto, embezzlement of company funds, for examples. Those are offenses against the state and if crossing state lines, the federal government. A higher court would be required to try such a case if it went to court. High justice is a matter of life, or death. Manslaughter, murder, arson of an occupied building – those are all crimes potentially punishable by death in the United States, and that would be the high justice. A common fallacy is that the death penalty is unconstitutional in the United States. Far from it.

“I realize this isn’t Constitutional Law, but under the due process clause of the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendment, it plainly states that no one shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law. Obviously, if there is due process of law, then the State or Federal government may do so. Of course, that is here and applies to those subject to the Constitution of the United States. A monarch holding absolute power can do what he or she wishes. Someone steals a loaf of bread, they could be put to death if the monarch so chooses. He can delegate his judicial power to others, but he himself is above the law regarding enforcing it.”

“An interesting theory, counselor, but one that does not apply in our modern society.”

I never have learned to keep my mouth shut at times.

“How so, Sir?”

“The nations of our world are civilized. Monarchs and Princes don’t just go beheading people without trial simply because they’ve committed a crime. Can you name even one instance where this has happened in the last decade?”

“Of course, Sir. As Prince of the Punjab, I personally have performed high justice on two of my subjects. One for attempted assassination of myself, the other for both killing someone and also stealing funds and planning to kill and kidnap other subjects of mine.”

That made him pause for a second, then rebut with, “What about the rights of those you say you killed?”

I figured at this point, I was already committed, so I replied, “What rights are those, Sir? The two men I killed were not killed on US soil, nor were they US residents. They were, in fact, subjects of mine, specifically sworn to me, and were put to death on soil where I am sovereign. While the US criminal justice system recognizes many things, it is still only valid on US soil. Other nations have their own criminal justice systems.”

He looked around. “Some of you look confused at that statement. Can you expand upon it?”

“Of course. Here in the US, if we catch someone stealing, after a trial and upon being found guilty, we will imprison that person for a definite length of time. In other countries, upon being found guilty of stealing, you can have your hand cut off. I’ve noticed that some of the buildings will occasionally have graffiti sprayed upon them. Here, if you’re caught doing that, it’s a misdemeanor, and you may face a small fine or community service. In other nations, it is punishable by caning. That’s using a half inch thick piece of rattan, similar to what the Society for Creative Anachronism uses for weapons, and then hitting the violator on their bare butt as hard as possible. Vandalism is typically half a dozen strokes.”

With a calm face, the professor then asked, “Why would they do that?”

“A simple monetary fine doesn’t do anything regarding recidivism. Personally, I was spanked on my bottom as a child for some misbehaving. I learned quickly to not misbehave. If the people who painted graffiti on the bridges here knew that if they were caught, they’d receive a caning for it, they might think twice about it.”

He remained calm, but had a slight smile on his face. “What about cruel and unusual punishment?”

I smiled back. “I’m going to cheat on this one, Sir, simply because in all of our texts, I’ve never seen a better answer. It’s not mine, of course. ‘While a judge should be benevolent in his purpose, his awards should cause the criminal to suffer, else there is no punishment – and pain is the basic mechanism built into us by millions of years of evolution which safeguards us by warning when something threatens our survival. As for unusual, punishment must be unusual, or it serves no purpose.’ As I said, not my words, but words I can agree with.”

“History and Moral Philosophy. A subject that our schools today lack. With just a show of hands, how many of you know where Cal got those words?”

Ten people raised their hands. The professor nodded. “For you ten, a ten page paper, due Thursday, on that specific quote. You know where it is.” His smile grew. “For the rest of you, thirty pages, due by Thursday, on the entire novel where that quote came from. Oh, and no one gets to help you. First, you have to find where it originated. Cal, you stated that you have personally killed people who violated the law of the land where you were, correct?”