Chapter 27

“Damn. I forgot to take my shirt off,” I said as I stood back up from where the kinetic energy had knocked me to the ground.

“That ... that ... that...”

“Punched a hole through tank armor? Yes, Walter, I know. Didn’t do my shirt a lot of good, either.” There were two round half inch holes in the shirt, one on either side of my chest, where they had hit me in the pectorals. “Of course, I’m not tank armor. And as you just saw, I’m also not a cow or goat, either. I’m the Guardian of Earth, and I’m pretty sure I’m why Caelistis decided to leave. Not because he was afraid of fighting Shiva. Because he was afraid of fighting me.”

“Didn’t you say you had something a little stronger than water available for us?”

I chuckled. “Yes, Ronald, I did. Let’s get back to Hangar One, and I’ll explain why I just gave you all a light show.”

I mentally heard, “Well, that wasn’t exactly the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

“No, Hannah, it’s not, and what’s almost amusing is it hurt me a lot less than when the Thug just about punched my lights out. You can chew me out later.”

“I’d rather you did that to me,” she said with a sensuous growl.

“I’m sorry, Walter. What?”

“I don’t understand! I know you stopped the bullet that Tim McCarthy shot at you because you were concerned you might not be bulletproof. Now, you take hits from a laser that should’ve vaporized you? What are you?”

We stopped, where one of my guards already had glasses sitting out for our visitors with a full inch of whiskey in each of them.

“Hopefully, I’m your gracious host. Go ahead, I actually prefer sweet tea, myself.” Carrie brought me a glass. “Thank you,” I said, sitting down at a table. The two Presidents both slammed their glasses back, then got refills and joined me at the table. I chuckled as every Secret Service agent downed their whiskey, then put their glasses down and simply took seats on surrounding benches.

“You weren’t in Florida this past December. Everyone knows that I killed the Thug in hand-to-hand combat. Not everyone knows that he nearly won. I was bleeding from what, three or four pretty good cuts, plus I had some cracked ribs. He was enhanced from two shivalingam that he wore on his neck, and I ... wasn’t. One of the quotes from Lazarus Long is, ‘Unarmed hand-to-hand fighting does not change through the ages; only the name changes, and it has only one rule: do it first, do it fast, do it dirtiest.’ I made the mistake with him that I was warned to not make in Nepal, and that was to give my opponent a chance. I’m certain you’ve seen me play football, how nimble on my feet I am. I kept trying to talk him into surrendering, and it cost me. I almost lost a couple of teeth when he head butted me, and I did cut my tongue and got a mouthful of blood. That’s how I ended up beating him, you know. I spit my own blood into his eyes so he couldn’t see, literally poked one of his eyes out with my thumb, broke all the cartilage in his nose, then crushed his esophagus with a punch. And while he was down, he wasn’t out, and so I hit him hard on both ears, giving him a concussion that, combined with the loose cartilage, ended up killing him. Thing is, he was punching me still, because he was a boxer. I would’ve loved to have had my football pads on then, because it took two weeks for my ribs to quit hurting, and another four to fully heal.”

I shook my head, then took a drink of tea.

“How do you reconcile that, where we almost had to literally fight Mike to keep him from putting me in the hospital because of how badly I was bleeding, and what you just saw? I had met Helen at Disney World three weeks before then. She and her family were looking for me, actually, because they wanted my help in getting wind turbines for her people. What’s Helen?”

“Priestess of the Sacred Souls of Uluru,” Walter instantly said.

“They already knew about me. That was almost eight months ago. Courtesy of my parents genes, I’m very, very intelligent. What’d you say before, Mycroft? Scary smart, I believe. Don’t get me wrong, I was already both incredibly fit and incredibly fast when I arrived in Kansas. Exposure to shivalingam while you’re in the womb will do that. But what I showed you today? I couldn’t have lifted even a single ounce with just my mind back then. Now? I’m tempted to see if I can erase what that asshole did on the surface of our moon. I haven’t tried to do anything that far away yet, just ... from here to London,” I said, smiling.

Ronald looked at Walter. “You know, that fits with what Mikhail told us, the report he got from that KGB officer, General Petrovich. The same thing that King Birendra told us after the earthquake caused by the destruction of whatever was below Machapuchare. Cal’s not Caelistis, not like him in the least.” He then looked back at me. “You know, the only thing I really don’t like is just how similar all of your names are!”

Karen laughed. “Did you meet with Cris Bauman or Hugo Sokalski, Mister President?”

Reagan shook his head. “I saw Bauman during the forming of the Federation, of course, but I’ve never talked to him.”

“Cristian Calvin Bauman, Hugo Kelekes Sokalski ... each with three lovely women, Evelin, Salvadora, and Elizabeth for Cris, Elizabeth, Lydia Evelyn, and Dorothea for Hugo. Of course, Cal’s first girlfriends are Elizabeth, Eve, and Dora. Is it any wonder that Caelistis has Belador, Lynevila, and Evabethia? Or that Cris, Hugo, and Cal look like they’re all brothers, barely a few years apart in age, even though we know that Hugo’s father was Grigori Rasputin, and Hugo was born the last time Halley’s Comet came through Earth’s orbit? The Sacred Souls have been planning their revenge upon Shiva since before Irhaal escaped from the pit in Nepal, and that was before some of the pyramids in Egypt were built. I picked up the 747, and I would have no problem if one of these gentlemen wanted to shoot me with his pistol, even if my husband wouldn’t like it. But I already know that I wouldn’t survive getting hit by those beams that hit Cal. Irhaal was shot by one of them, of a very small size. Even though I’m not her, I know where it hit, what it did, and how fortunate she was to survive, just as Madalain, Dala, and Lara did not survive getting hit by them.”

Cally said, “It’s okay, Mom,” and took her hand. “We, and they, know.”

Mycroft spoke up then. “I’m going to make a guess here, but it’s a pretty good one. Caelistis knew that Shiva had created an AI. It was ... quite insane. Both Pahto and I are people, albeit created ones without soft and squishy flesh bodies.” He chuckled. “We both have built-in safeguards that prevent us from going insane, actually. As Pahto calls you from when she was created, the natural born do as well. It’s called being a part of a society. Interacting with other people helps keep you sane.”

“Speaking of interacting, um, did that help resolve some of the concerns you have? If so, it’s still early enough in the afternoon, I’d like to prove to Coach Elway that I’m really not full of shit.”

Reagan did a double take. “Um, what?”

“If we’re done here, then would the two of you come over to the stadium, so I can introduce you to the team and my coaches?”

Walter started chuckling, then went into a full belly laugh. After a few seconds, Ronald did the same. Once they figured it out, so did most of the Secret Service Agents.

Once he’d wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, and taken a drink of water, Walter said, “Cal, we’d be honored to go get you out of the doghouse with your coaches.”

They continued to laugh and chuckle as the Suburbans were lined up.

The Secret Service agents from Washington were concerned, but with Tim McCarthy still with them, he just told them to deal with it. The minor detail that we had escorts of former Marine Combat vehicles, as well as some jeeps with machine guns on the back, and just for good measure, Wally had three helicopters rolled out for overhead escort, pretty much shut down all of their concerns.

We rearranged things as the girls all left so they could go with Marcia and Margie to Vegas. Just to be nice, we let Pearson ride with us to the stadium. He was shaking his head when he saw our firepower.

“We have a lot of stuff when Rawhide is on the move, most of the time. This is ... almost overkill.”

“Yes, it is, as far as you’re concerned,” Mike said. “However, I’m making a statement to Governor Deukmejian and the other morons out here that even now still try to give us grief, plus some people around the world if I’m lucky. I’m no longer in charge of just Cal’s security, I have that, his military, plus all of the security contracts that we’ve gotten because of who we are. Don’t you think it’s going to get around that the Secret Service ‘let’ us guard their principal during a ground vehicle movement? Oh, and that both the POTUS and the POTFED came to California to visit Cal, instead of having him come visit them?”

“You know, I still have two more years until I get my twenty in. If I didn’t, I think I’d be putting my notice in now and applying with you.”

“Not the first time we’ve heard that. Two of Diana’s guards from before now work for us. Obviously, I think you understand that our personal protection is a bit ... different,” Mike said with a chuckle.

“I’d hope so. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but what do your bodyguards do?”

“Complain a lot about what a pain in the ass I am,” I said, as I pulled on a Cardinal sweatshirt Bob had handed me before we’d left.

Karen laughed. “Agent Pearson, keep in mind that Cal and I are exceptions to the rule for needing protection. He has seventeen wives and between everyone, a whole passel of kids both born and still waiting to pop out. Which is only going to increase almost geometrically as his Indian wives start having his children. I think it’s a good thing he owns so much land in Kansas. He’ll need it just for the playground!”

Our conversation ended then because we arrived at the stadium. I suspect the Apache that circled the field before moving off gave the coaches some idea that things were about to get interrupted.

Things degenerated rather quickly when I got out and then escorted both Ronald and Walter onto the field. The team was very respectful of both of them, as were all of the coaches. The Presidents stayed for half an hour, signing autographs and talking to everyone. Before they left, we had everyone get together for a picture with them, and gave them both some very quickly team autographed footballs.

President Reagan grinned, then in his charming way, said, “Well, men; Walter and I need to get back to Washington and Geneva to run this country and this planet. I look forward to meeting all of you again in the White House when the final polls come out and you’re National Champions. Even if this scoundrel is your quarterback.”

After they left, I handed out bags of cookies that Karen and Cally had made to everyone, then helped the equipment guys put stuff up. John came out and saw me doing that. “Hey, Cal! Quick team meeting, in the locker room!”

I ran inside, to find the entire team sitting on the seats at their individual lockers. Coach Elway – along with the rest of the coaches – was standing in the middle of the locker room. I quickly ran to my locker and, after taking a quick look to make sure that they hadn’t put anything on my seat as a joke, sat down.

“Mister Paye told us you were helping the equipment team. Thank you for sticking around, that lets me do this tonight instead of first thing tomorrow morning. You had already left for your meeting with ... and I can’t actually believe I’m saying this, but Presidents Reagan and Mondale ... when I got a phone call. Instead of practice tomorrow morning, all of us will be meeting in the Arrillaga Center, in Conference Room B, at ten. Mister Geiger called it. How many of you watched the KPIX interview with John and Cal, and then later on the sports special that KPIX did?”

Everyone but me raised their hand.

“Somehow, I’m not surprised. How many of you read the article that Ray Ratto wrote for the Chronicle?”

Only one player raised his hand.

“Mister Scheller, it’s not just that I’m surprised you can read, but you’re the only one who did so. Why is that?”

“Because I lost, Coach. We knew one of us had to read it after what John told us had happened, so we ended up drawing for it. If there’d actually been anything socially redeeming or worth passing on to the rest of the team, I was to let them know. Since there wasn’t, I let them know that, so they wouldn’t waste their time. It’s fine, because I can always remember what he said in a game, to help get me fired up!”

“That it definitely will do. I do not have any specific idea as to what the meeting will be about. Seriously, he wouldn’t give me a clue, even when I asked. He’d actually wanted to do it today, but I told him Cal had left for a meeting with the President. I’m not sure he believed me. Yes, Mister Ennis?”

“Coach, I have access to the campus darkroom, since I’m taking a class on photography. How big of a poster from today would you like? I can make it up to five feet wide, if you’d like. Anything bigger, we can’t do here.”

“I think some twenty-four inch glossies would do nicely. Can you have sixty or so of those done before lights out tonight?”

“With a little help, sure.” Fully half the team volunteered. “Okay, the lab’s not that big. Fred, Jeff, Kurt, I know you guys know where it is. See you after this?”

I pulled out my wallet. “Here’s a couple of hundred for supplies, in case they make you pay for them.”

Greg shook his head. “This is going on the football team’s promotional account. Shit, I know we’re going to need to make a lot of these, once word gets around. We’ll be able to sell them to the fans all season, too. I can transfer everyone’s signature to the final poster sized print, too, it’ll just take me a little longer to do that. Selling those ought to help pay for even more improvements around here. We’ve eaten enough of your food and drunk enough of your beer that you’ve already paid for our time to do this.”

Coach Elway nodded as he said, “That’s for damn sure. Okay, tomorrow, at ten. Dismissed. Mister Lewis, a moment.”

Once everyone but Coach Elway was gone, I smiled and said, “You know, we’ve got to stop meeting like this. My wives suspect!”

He closed his eyes and simply shook his head. “God save me from juvenile humor. Is there anything I need to know about why two of the most powerful men in the world came to see you?”

“Nothing that will affect football, Coach. It’s like I said before. Out there on the field is me. About the only thing is, and I think you ought to know this, I can’t get hurt playing. Not the way you’re thinking, that you have to watch to make sure I don’t get hurt. I can’t physically be injured by anything that happens out there. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to get tackled or anything like that. It just means that if some jackass decides to spear me with his helmet right in the middle of my back, don’t worry about it. It’s not cheating, it’s just ... me.”

“Just for my own curiosity, do you even need pads?”

I shook my head. “I don’t even need a helmet. But ... it’d look pretty damned stupid for me to be out there running around in swim trunks, don’t you think?”

“Ah, now I understand the comment Mister Wilson made regarding you not wearing gear,” Elway said.

“Yes and no. He doesn’t know that much about me, I hope. However, he understands something about my security forces that I really don’t think just about anyone in this country that’s not Special Forces or SEALS does. Jeremy wasn’t kidding when he said he had no desire to fight any of the Gurkhas, because they literally do not fear death. I think the closest thing I can think of that you might think about are the old Norse berserkers. You got one of them fired up, they didn’t fear death, they’d just fight on until either they died or they beat their opponents. They were sort of rare, and probably were on drugs or drunk, anyway. The Gurkhas aren’t like that. You actually look at their histories from during the war, they’d charge a machine gun nest, or get one hand blown off by a grenade and keep fighting with the other. The Victoria Cross is sort of like our Medal of Honor. There’ve been thirteen Gurkhas that received that, three more received the highest Indian award possible once India became free from Britain, and nearly three thousand received the Indian Order of Merit, which was the highest award for combat they could receive before they became eligible for the VC. One Gurkha warrior received it four times. Since they became eligible for the VC, they’ve still had over a thousand awarded.”

“Jesus! What you’re saying is those are some scary sons of bitches!”

“Um, that’s being polite. Did they show my khukuri in the interview?” Coach nodded. “Just to give you something to think about, something I don’t think you understand even yet, but Mister Wilson does. My Gurkhas don’t just think of me as worthy to be a part of them. They think of me as worthy to lead them into combat, to fight with them. That’s one reason the Maximovich crime family no longer exists.”

He was quiet for a couple of seconds. “You know, you’re a scary son of a bitch, too.”

I smiled. “Thank you. I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Get the fuck out of my locker room!”

“Coach! Yes, Coach!” I headed out then, laughing the whole way.

Chuck and Yagyu were waiting to drive me home.

“Well, if your mission was to frighten your wives, you succeeded in that quite nicely,” Chuck said as he put the Suburban into gear.

“I’m just glad that we were able to figure out how to use Pahto’s power source for the PDUs, since I’d really like to not be the cause of a massive earthquake here. It’s going to happen one of these days on its own. Besides, they knew from Nepal that I wasn’t in any danger.”

“Yes, well, knowing about it when you’re halfway around the world and actually watching it on both closed circuit television – which was recorded by Marcia, by the way, for her documentary on you – and through the girls’ eyes was a bit different. Oh, and the plane left for Vegas five minutes ago. Mike and Karen are taking a plane down to Port Hueneme, with Major Pandit going with them, along with some of the Gurkha troops from here. The first battalion from Nepal is arriving tomorrow.”

I frowned. “I would’ve thought they were going to fly in on Ayo Gorkhali. For that matter, weren’t they going to Punjab?”

“That’s where they’ll end up. We’re bringing them here so that all of our troops are equipped to our standard, with our equipment. There’s such a variety of small arms available on both the white and black markets now that it simply made sense to make sure everyone is equipped with a standard load out. That way everyone can also go through standardized testing, too. We’re not going to consider them as anything other than your combat troops, but we also need to make sure everyone is fluent in two or three languages. The DLI is in Monterey, so we’re going to contract with them for teachers.”

At my puzzled look, he said, “Defense Language Institute. It’s the primary location where the US Military trains their interpreters. Probably the best language school in the world. The Air Force uses Lackland, and they also do some stuff at the Presidio in San Francisco, too. There’s a lot of Military Intelligence folks at those schools.”

“I thought that was an oxymoron.”

“There’s a difference between military intelligence, which is intel that’s militarily useful, and intelligent militaries. There really is a purpose behind most of the bullshit they do, it’s just normally not apparent at the time. And of course, the Peter Principle applies, especially for ring-knockers.”

I snorted. “People get promoted to their level of incompetence? I think I’ve seen that a few times since I’ve been here.”

Chuck nodded. “I think CEDEM is basically the exception to that rule. Even your top managers that you’ve never really met, for the factories around the world, aren’t bad at all. Even a lot of their subordinates would be top managers for other companies.”

“Good. Tomorrow we have some kind of meeting with Mister Geiger. Would you see if you can find out what that’s all about?”

“Sure. Melissa said to tell you that things are percolating nicely and ahead of schedule, too.” He sighed as he stopped the Suburban in our drive, his hands on the wheel. “I’m not really annoyed at finding out the real truth about Karen. I just sometimes wish that, from what I’ve seen of the girls and you, and now her, that I’d had an ancient soul decide to come live within me.”

“I grew up with all that mystic, ancient culture stuff. Don’t get me wrong, some of it makes perfect sense. But now that I’ve had some time to be around people who don’t just think it’s normal, but actually live with it? No, thank you.”

“How about that? The assassin is a philosopher. Thanks, Yagyu. I’ll give you a call if I find out anything tonight, Cal.”

Yagyu and I got out and went inside.

With eight of the people that normally were home not present, our chefs, Linda and Mary worked together to serve us all some of the fresh seafood that had been brought home from Alaska. They also had dipping sauces for us that really opened my eyes.

“Where’d you get this recipe?” I asked.

“Beth gave it to us. She said she’d got it from the President of Mexico, actually,” Mary said. “This is really the first time we’ve had to try it out. I think it’s marketable.”

“It is at that.” I glanced at Hannah. “See if you can find out where he got it, so we can give the original creator both credit and financial reward.” Mentally, I told her, ‘This is exactly like the sauce which that fish place in Cancun made, so if one of the best chefs in the world thinks it’s marketable, we may as well start our own sauce company.’

Hannah laughed aloud. “I think I can do that. I bet there’d be a market for it anywhere people eat seafood.” Her face was turned from our chefs, so she simply winked at me.

I’d wondered about the wisdom of Margie and Marcia taking the babies on the flight as they were so young. I hadn’t counted on the girls being able to help with problems that would’ve upset them due to pressurization. They checked in when they’d landed at Vegas without any troubles.

What that did mean is that with only ten women in bed with me that were physically capable of making love, with eight of them from India and Pakistan, we went through several pages of the Kama-Sutra that night, much to the visual delight of those that weren’t so limber due to pregnancy.

Chuck joined us for breakfast.

“Thanks,” he said as his coffee cup was placed in front of him when he sat down with a plate. “I’ve been winging things to a certain extent since Mike told me I was in charge of your account. I’m actually glad we’ve got a bit more time this morning, so I can go over the very few changes that I need to make. George and Eddie already know you’re Guardian of the Earth, and we’ve got them on the payroll as protection officers for Harry and William. I’m going to move them up to personal family protection, subordinate to Dave. You’ve got too many little boys now, you need three male guards, anyway. Well, you don’t need anyone, but we have to maintain appearances, after all.”

He paused, taking a sip of coffee. “On the female side of things, I’m adding two dozen to the personal roster. They’ll all start next week. We need thirteen. Well, nine, but as before, appearances have to be maintained. That’ll actually allow us to have extra guards for Toby, Carrie, and Cally. The only reason I’m adding so many is because I expect some of them to not work out. I don’t particularly want to include on-the-job training, not for this, but I pretty much have to. We’ve got plenty of female uniformed officers, but for what we’re actually trained to do, it’s a different story.”

Helen frowned. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re trained to take a bullet for us, which we appreciate greatly even though with our rings, it’s not needed, but I’m not sure I get what you mean.”

“It’s not just that. Here’s a simple scenario. You’re out with your guard doing some shopping. They’re driving, of course. The simple work van in front of you suddenly has the back doors fly open, with two guys standing there with guns pointed at you. Your driver has to have already started to react as soon as the doors start to open. Defensive and evasive driving, we have to be experts in everything from your little sports cars through the big Suburbans, and if you can do that in military vehicles as well, that’s a bonus. To a certain extent, that’s one thing the movies get partially right. Doing a bootlegger reverse in a limousine going forty miles an hour takes a special set of skills. Weapons experts, of course, in knives to long rifles, and everything in between. Heavier weapons skills are a bonus.”

“That’s great about their training, but I still don’t understand.”

“The biggest thing that we have to deal with is that we’re not police, or even your regular security. You’re walking down the street with a police officer, a soldier, a security officer, and a personal protection officer all with you. Half a block ahead of you are gunshots and the sounds of many people screaming in terror. The other three will rush towards the sounds of fighting; that’s what they’re trained to do. The PPO has a single, overriding job. There could be children visibly laying in the street, bloody from being shot. They can’t care! Their job is to protect you, even if they have to physically pick you up to run away from the gunfire and the wounded.”

He shook his head. “It’s bad enough for us men to have to do that. We’re biologically programmed to help be defenders. Women are biologically programmed to nurture. It’s also that what we do is still predominately a male-dominated business. I think in all of Wackenhut, there were less than a hundred females at the level we need. And most of them, Mike and I know, which is why they’re not working for us in the first place, once we split off from George. I’ve got three that I know and trust, working in Kansas right now, actually. The Secret Service only started hiring women fifteen years ago, and I’ve got six of their former staff on the payroll, too. The rest are all former Mossad or KGB. And yes, Yagyu, you don’t even have to ask. I’ll get all of their files to you by the end of the day. And to Mycroft and Pahto, for all of them.”

Helen shook her head. “No, I get that. But why so many? You’re talking about one female security officer for every single one of us now. What’s the need, when we’ve never had it before. We’ve always gone out with regular guards, so what’s changed?”

“It was there before, it’s just reached a certain level that we have to do it. Yes, I know all of you but Cal have built in telephones. That still doesn’t mean that we don’t need coverage on the eight of you,” he said, pointing at my Indian wives. “Five of you are responsible for CERT activities around the world. I’ll go back in time almost a decade, but let’s look at 1976. There were major earthquakes in Guatemala, Italy, Indonesia, China, the Philippines, and Turkey just in that year alone, with hundreds of thousands of people killed. That means you’re going to be giving press conferences, coordinating between groups, traveling all over the world. You’re all high profile women now. And let’s face it, there’s a lot of places in the world that still aren’t going to like that. Even with setting that aside, you’re all advanced enough in your education that you’re not just going to have tutors, you’re going to be attending classes this fall or winter. While your rings give you protection against projectiles, what about someone sneaking up behind you and doing things the old fashioned way, with a blood choke so you’re out in ten seconds, and then an injection to keep you out? You may get a thought off that you’re being attacked, but that’s not going to help, is it? Especially if someone has made a distraction to draw off the uniformed security.”

I held up a finger. “Do it. Kidnapping for ransom wouldn’t work, but kidnapping to attempt to influence political events or even for other reasons is actually something I’ve been concerned about. Unfortunately, I know that parts of the world aren’t rational. Just do a good job of vetting everyone. I don’t care if they know about what I can do as the Guardian; hell, I just showed Walter, Ronald, a dozen secret service agents, and all of my flight crews and mechanics. I don’t want anyone to know about Beth, Dora, or Eve until it’s absolutely necessary for the survival of the world once Shiva is here. Security can suspect all they want. Knowing is a completely different matter. I’m sure Cain and Abel know, but...” I snorted. “They’re like Jeremy now.”