Chapter 20: Difference of Perspective

Ted had gone to bed early that night. The time spent running around in the backyard with the other kids had worn him out. It wasn’t that he was that out of shape, but he hadn’t been sleeping well for more than a month. He fell asleep almost as soon as he hit the bed. Much to his surprise, he wouldn’t wake until late the next morning.

Shirley was seated in her chair thinking about some of the things that Ted had said earlier that evening. It dawned on her that he might have actually been considering suicide. She tried to keep control over her emotions, but after a minute she broke down and cried. The idea of losing him after all they’d gone through was too much for her.

Coming from the kitchen with a bowl of ice cream, Daryl froze on seeing his wife crying. His shoulders slumped. Unable to control himself, he said, “Not again.”

“You don’t seem to care that our son was almost killed!”

“That was almost two months ago,” he replied. It seemed like every night she broke down in tears over the attack on Ted. He didn’t understand it. It was time to pick up their lives and get on with living. They hadn’t had sex since that day and he was getting tired of it.

“He was thinking about killing himself,” she countered.

“Where did you get that idea?”

She glared at him and shook her head. It was just like him to be oblivious to everyone’s pain. She said, “He said so this evening when we visited Harry.”

“No, he didn’t,” he replied. He replayed the entire conversation over in his head and couldn’t recall him saying anything about committing suicide.

“He was convinced that it would have been better if that pervert had killed him,” she answered. She looked up at him getting angry that he wasn’t taking this situation with the seriousness that it deserved.

“That doesn’t mean that he was considering taking his own life,” Daryl replied confused by her assertion.

“Yes it does. Did you know that he was afraid that he was a homosexual?” she asked pointing a finger at him.

“No,” Daryl answered knowing that she hadn’t been aware of that fact either. He could tell by how his playboys were moved around on occasion that Ted was sneaking in and looking at them. There were no doubts in his mind that Ted was a normal healthy red blooded horny teenage boy.

“See, you aren’t paying attention to him. Our little boy was almost killed and you’re acting all macho.”

“Huh?” He looked down at his ice cream and realized that he wasn’t going to have the peace and quiet necessary to enjoy it. He put it down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch.

“You heard me. I don’t stutter. You’re too busy acting all macho to understand the severity of the situation,” she charged.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s over and it’s time for him to get on with his life. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself. Quit mothering him, you’ll stunt his development as a man,” she said in a mocking tone of voice.

Looking down at his bowl of ice cream, Daryl came to a decision that he knew he was going to regret. In a stern voice, he said, “Quit it right now. You’re acting like an obsessed maniac. I can’t take it any more. Get over it. Stop crying. Let him grow up and be a man.”

“That’s your answer to everything isn’t it? Act like a man,” she said. She couldn’t understand how it was that he didn’t see that Ted was hurting and needed comforting from his parents.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Act like you care,” she answered.

“I do care. I just don’t think that breaking down and crying all the time is going to solve anything. He needs to go out and face his fears,” Daryl said. They had this part of the discussion every night and it wasn’t going anywhere. Lifting both his hands, he added, “The suggestion that he take martial arts lessons is perfect.”

“Learning how to fight isn’t going to solve anything.”

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

“Something.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. You should do something to fix it,” she answered.

“Like what?”

“Care.”

“I do care, damn it.”

“So act like it!” she shouted. Realizing that she was shouting, she covered her mouth out of fear that she was going to wake Ted. The poor guy needed his rest.

Standing up, Daryl shook his finger at her and said, “Don’t say another word about me not caring.”

“Well, you don’t care,” she said.

Afraid that he was going to lose his temper, Daryl stormed out of the house. Getting into the car, he fastened his seatbelt before realizing that he hadn’t taken the keys out of his pocket. After wiggling around, he fished his keys out. A few seconds later, he started the car and pulled out of the driveway. He didn’t have a destination in mind.

In the house, Shirley stared at the closed door unable to believe that he had actually left. His actions only convinced her that he didn’t really care about what happened to Ted or their marriage. If he had cared, he would have stayed there and discussed their problems. She crossed her arms and waited for him to return.

At first she had thought that he was just going to drive around the block until he cooled off. After an hour had passed, she decided that he had gone to a bar to have a drink or two and would return home with a little glow. After three hours, Shirley began to get very worried. Her thoughts turned a little darker when she started imagining that he had crashed his car.

Not knowing what else to do, she went to the phone and called the police to see if there had been any accidents reported. The officer on the phone wasn’t very understanding and told her to call back after he had been missing for at least twenty four hours. After hanging up, she went to the front window and looked out. The driveway was empty.

She went back to her chair. Her worry fought with her anger. She alternated between crying and grimacing at the ceiling. Unable to sit, she paced around the living room. She kept glancing at the clock, but the time dragged by with painful slowness. It was well past her bedtime, but she waited some more. Finally, she decided that she would get ready for bed in the belief that keeping busy would make the time pass quicker. She was convinced that he’d be home before she was out of the shower.

When she finished her shower there was still no sign of Daryl. She was beginning to get very worried. Not knowing what else to do, she sat on the edge of the bed listening for the door to open. It didn’t open and two hours later she fell asleep. Her pillow was damp from her tears.

Daryl woke up in his car feeling stiff and sore. His little car wasn’t designed to be used as a place to sleep. He worked his tongue. It felt and tasted like a herd of camels had shit in his mouth. He looked around trying to remember where he was. He had ended up having waffles at the all-night waffle house before falling asleep in his car. His stomach grumbled and he climbed out of the car. After stretching, he decided to have breakfast at the waffle house and then head to work.

Looking down at himself, he realized his clothes were wrinkled. He frowned at the thought of going into the office looking like that, but headed into the waffle house anyway. Taking a seat at the counter, he ordered coffee, eggs over easy, hash browned potatoes, bacon, and toast. Even as he ordered it, he felt that it was a better breakfast than a man who walked out on his family deserved.

He ate his breakfast without really tasting it. While slowly consuming his food, he wondered what had gone wrong with his marriage. He had thought things were really good between him and his wife, but the attack on Ted seemed to have destroyed it. His wife seemed to have fixated on the attack and wouldn’t get past it. She was smothering Ted and killing their marriage.

He took a drink of his coffee deep in thought. The coffee was still hot and the cup was full. He realized that the waitress must have refilled it. He looked down at his plate and saw that it was empty. Shaking his head, he felt like he was functioning on autopilot.

Checking his watch, he saw that he didn’t have enough time to stop by the house to shower and change clothes. Settling the bill, he went outside and got in his car. It was a short half hour drive to the office and he would be late anyway. Somehow breakfast had lasted an hour and a half.

After pulling into the parking lot, he parked and took stock of himself. He didn’t like what he saw. It was too late to go by a store and purchase a toothbrush. He brushed his teeth with his finger. It would maybe remove some of the fur, but it wasn’t going to do anything for his breath. Still, it was the best that he could do for the moment.

He had just settled into his cubicle when his boss passed by. The man stopped and looked at Daryl unable to believe his eyes. He cleared his throat and said, “Daryl. Would you mind coming to my office for a minute?”

“Sure, Mr. Murdock,” he answered. He got out of his chair and followed his boss to the corner office. A number of his coworkers watched him walk by; shaking their heads once he had stepped past them.

Dan Murdock entered his office and gestured to a chair. In a gruff voice, he said, “Have a seat.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not going to mince words, Daryl. You look like shit. Your hair is uncombed, you haven’t shaved, and your clothes look like you slept in them. Now I know that you and your family had a little problem a month ago, but you need to get over it. I can’t have one of my people come crawling into the office looking like they spent the night in a bar. We’re trying to maintain some level of professionalism here,” Dan said while leaning against his desk with his arms crossed.

Hearing his own words coming back at him, Daryl said, “I couldn’t agree with you more.”