Chapter 4

Magus said, “Before you tell me your problem, there is a matter of payment.”

“How much?” asked the young man.

“Ten dollars and a favor for the first solution. Add a zero for each subsequent solution without adding a favor,” Magus answered.

The young man pulled a crumpled ten dollar bill from his wallet and said, “Here’s my ten dollars.”

Magus wrote a receipt and handed it over to the young man. He asked, “What is your problem, Mr. Tom Smith?”

“My roommate is crazy,” Tom answered.

“Does he run around naked screaming bugga bugga?”

“No! I’m serious. I woke up last night and found him staring at me. He was fondling a knife; a very large and dangerous looking knife,” Tom said. He shifted nervously in his seat just thinking about it.

“That bothers you?” Magus asked.

“Of course it bothers me,” Tom shouted.

Magus said, “I had to ask. Some folks might find that perfectly acceptable behavior.”

“What planet are you from?”

“Earth, generally,” Magus answered. He asked, “Did you inform the housing department at the university of your phobia of large dangerous looking knifes and that your roommate was in possession of such an item?”

“Yes,” Tom answered.

“And what did they tell you?” Magus said.

“Not to worry. If he did something odd they would look into the matter,” Tom said.

“But you are worried,” Magus said.

“Of course I’m worried. I woke up last night and found him staring at me. He was fondling a knife; a very large and dangerous looking knife.”

Magus said, “Well, I happen to have a room in a house that is available at the moment.”

“I paid for a dorm room,” Tom said.

“Cancel your dorm room. I’ll accept the money returned as rent for the semester,” Magus said.

Tom said, “All right.”

Magus shouted, “Claudia. Tell Igor to come here.”

Phil entered the office after a full minute. It took time to make the walk from next door. He asked, “What’s up?”

“Tom here is living with a crazy roommate. Take him to his dorm, pack him up, and then drop him off at the house,” Magus said.

“Okay,” Phil said. He frowned and asked, “You’ve only got one room left in it. What are you going to do when you run out of rooms?”

“Buy another house,” Magus answered. “I hate college towns. It is always the same problems: no money, crazy roommates, and failing out of school.”

“I’ll take care of Tom,” Phil said. Looking down at the young man, he said, “Come with me. We’ll get you away from your crazy roommate.”

As soon as Tom left the office, Magus was dealing with his next appointment. He said, “Before you tell me your problem, there is a matter of payment.”

“How much?” asked the young man.

“Ten dollars and a favor for the first solution. Add a zero for each subsequent solution without adding a favor,” Magus answered.

The young man pulled a crumpled ten dollar bill from his pocket and said, “Here’s my ten dollars.”

Magus wrote a receipt and handed it over to the young man. He asked, “What is your problem, Mr. Alex Jones?”

“I’m failing out of school,” Alex answered.

“Um, that does sound serious.” Magus asked, “When was the last time you drank more than three beers?”

“Last night,” Alex answered. “I really partied last night.”

“And before that?” Magus asked.

“The night before,” Alex answered. “There was a party over at some guy’s house.”

Magus said, “I bet there is a party tonight.”

“There’s a good one,” Alex answered.

Nodding his head, Magus said, “There are two solutions to your problem; an easy one and a hard one. Which do you want?”

“The easy one,” Alex answered. He sat back relaxed thinking that it wasn’t going to be so bad.

Magus said, “Rather than fail out of school you can quit school.”

“Why would I do that?” Alex asked.

Magus answered, “So you can go to work in a factory and stop at a bar every night on the way home. If you manage not to totally screw up your life, you can decide in a few years if you want to try school again.”

“That’s it? That’s your solution?”

Magus said, “You’ve told me what is important in your life. I offer you a solution consistent with what you want. You’re screwing up at school and you’re more concerned about going to parties. I say get a brainless job and party until you get sick of it.”

“What’s the hard solution?” Alex answered.

“Stop going to parties, study your ass off, and make something out of your miserable existence,” Magus said.

Alex crossed his arms and said, “Shit. Can’t you talk to my professors and force them to give me passing grades?”

“Fuck you,” Magus said rising from his chair. Pointing towards the door, he shouted, “Get out of my office. The only problem in your life is you!”

“I want my ten dollars back,” Alex said glaring at Magus.

“I gave you two solutions to your problem. You got your money’s worth,” Magus said.

From behind Alex, a deep gravelly voice said, “I suggest you leave now.”

Alex turned around and looked at Phil. There was no way he was going to make a scene with that monster standing behind him. He swallowed heavily and then slunk out of the room. He muttered, “This asshole is a fucking rip off.”

Phil said, “Let me guess, he wanted you to fix his grades.”

Nodding his head, Magus said, “I hate college towns. Just once I’d like to get a novel problem.”

“You never know. There are a lot of colleges in Boston,” Phil said.

As soon as Phil left the office, Magus had to deal with his next appointment; a young woman by the name of Catherine Walters. She wasn’t a particularly beautiful woman, but had nice features that were pleasing to the eye. She had shoulder length brown hair, startling hazel eyes, a feminine build, and nice legs. Her skirt was a little short and it was obvious that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Her nipples were making significant tents in her turtleneck sweater. He said, “Before you tell me your problem, there is a matter of payment.”

“How much?” asked the young woman. She shifted around on her seat nervously.

“Ten dollars and a favor for the first solution. Add a zero for each subsequent solution without adding a favor,” Magus answered. He was pretty sure that every student in the Boston area already knew what he charged. It didn’t take long for word to get around about the service he provided.

The young woman searched through her purse before coming up with a five and five ones. Handing the cash over to Magus, she said, “Here’s my ten dollars.”

Magus wrote a receipt and handed it over to the young woman. He said, “Here is your receipt.”

Cathy dug in her purse and pulled out a condom. Holding it up, she said, “You mentioned a favor. Are you ready to collect that now?”