Chapter 29

After lunch, Cardox and Sita headed back down to D deck and made their way into the once vacant quarters that sat between their own. Kazlaena and Pri followed close behind with enthusiastic grins on their faces. As the quartet stepped into the quarters, they looked over all manner of fun toys once meant for youth but repurposed by the two former service members to be entertaining at any level. They had remote controlled vehicles that were meant to crash into each other and break apart, only to be repaired relatively easily. They had laser guns and vests that could be played in the cargo holds, or in the halls if certain first officers were suspected to be sleeping. Among a pile of other toys, their crown jewel was a massive race set that went around most of the room. It had loops, spirals to upper levels, even went through the ventilation system to both of their rooms. All this stuff was new to Pri, but Kazlaena had a blast anytime she caught wind of them setting up their Featherball runs, endurance races that consisted of dozens of laps. On the wall, they had a vidscreen that often would display League boxing, wrestling or any assorted martial arts programs. Boxing was their preferred as it had one of the largest audiences within the League, thanks to Terran influence due to colonial resurgence in the pioneering days. Now it had some of the most sponsored athletes in the martial arts sector, both organic and cybernetic. A middleweight match was on between a Terran and a Praeminian.

“Praeminian boxer?” Kazlaena asked with some surprise.

“Yeah, crazy huh?” Sita walked up to the screen. “Little guy has been climbing the weight classes and he’s won the title fight in each.”

“Calm gentle mannerism falls to void?” Pri raised a brow as she walked up to Sita’s side.

“He’s still pretty gentile, honorable even...” Sita watched for a moment. “ ... See there? He had the fight there, just needed to keep the other guy in the corner but he backs off a lot. He was asked about it once, said he wants a match to go at least five rounds so it’s a good show and his opponent doesn’t get ko’ed right away. He has taken the match in the first round though, ko’s do come outta nowhere at times.”

“Why is sa boxing so popular?” Kazlaena asked. “People ‘itting people is sa bit confusing to me. I don’t like sat kind of sing.”

“It’s an old martial tradition in Terran culture, Kazzo.” Cardox patted her shoulder. “It’s also one way for Terrans to settle beef, er, settle disputes. At some point it became a professional thing with prize pools. Some of it might be a way for Terrans to let out aggression by either partaking or watching.”

“Do you and Sita ‘ave aggression sa lot?”

“No,” Cardox shook his head. “Not anymore. It’s just something that kinda stuck, watching the boxing circuit. Both of us boxed while we were service members so there’s a bit of an attachment there.”

“You did?” Kazlaena was intrigued.

“Yes ma’am.” Cardox held his hands up in a boxing posture for a moment, then faced Sita as she did the same when she turned to face him. He backed off and held his hands up. “Sita’s a golden gloves boxer, there’s no way I’ma be facin her.”

“Golden gloves?”

“An award for amateur boxing, which the services fall under. She took the one for the Terran marines.”

Sita gave Kazlaena a wink and moved in on Cardox, lining up to slug him one. “Pow, right in the belly guff.” She stopped from actually striking him and they both started laughing.

Pri watched the match for a moment, being a bit interested in the Praeminians prowess, but her more passive nature saw her turn away to look over the racetrack.

“Toys?” She tilted her head curiously.

“Kinda.” Cardox pulled out a box with the race cars and their controllers.

Unlike older racetracks that had grooves that helped the car stay on the track, these cars required a bit more steering control, being remote controlled electric. Some areas had guide tracks, like the tunnels into the adjoining rooms where the driver couldn’t see the car.

“Green car, Kaz?” Cardox held it out to her.

“Yes please.” Kazlaena took the car and looked up to Pri. “My favorite color. Sa car is like sa good luck sarm.”

Pri smiled, then was asked by Cardox if she wanted to join.

“Oh! No. I possess no knowledge of game design.”

“We all gotta learn somewhere.” Sita said as she pulled her red car out and set it on the track. “C’mon. Just watchin’s gonna be friggin boring.”

“Yeah.” Cardox said. “Sita might swear if you don’t, then Kazlaena gets mad. You don’t want Kazlaena to get mad, do you?”

“Odd string of events to thread together, but no.” Pri bit her lip.

“You got a favo color?” Cardox asked. “We got like ten ... well, eight cars still, your color might be in here.”

Pri looked on as Cardox set a blue car on the track.

“Well, seven colors now.” He took the blue controller.

Pri thought for a moment longer, then just went with it. “Pink?”

“Pink!” Cardox grinned, then pulled out a pink car.

“Pri likes pink?” Sita joked. “It’s the Prink car.”

Pri lowered her head in embarrassment, but a friendly bump made her look to Kazlaena.

“I sink it’s cute. Prink and Kazgreenla will get sem.”

Pri burst out laughing as Cardox and Sita smiled.

“Ok, ladies...” Cardox set all the cars on the start line. “Start your engines.”

“Uh...” Pri looked on with uncertainty and Kazlaena reached over to activate her remote.

“Sis is your speed and sis is your steering. Um, it might take sa bit to get used to.”

“Gratitude.” Pri gave her a nod.

“Can you let sa new player do a pace lap?” Kazlaena asked and they agreed, giving Pri a chance to get used to the controls a bit.

After a lap or two and her demonstration of some aptitude in driving, they set the lap counter and prepared for the race. The timer clicked down from ten and when it hit zero, the cars activated and were off. This was not a typical race with long flat roads and gradual banked curves. It was more of a rally run, with terrain features, bridges, hills, caution areas and all manner of hazards that one needed to be careful of. Their first challenge was a long, bumpy stretch that made them slow down so their car stayed on the track. After that, they entered the first bridge zone with a narrow deck that saw Sita and Kazlaena’s cars make contact as they barely fit. Cardox was right behind them while Pri was a short distance back. After the bridge, they entered the long spiral climb, going up a couple of feet in height to then race through a wavy section of the road meant to simulate water flow. Slick plastic made it easy for the cars to spin out and they slowed right down, except for Pri who was unfamiliar with the hazard and came barreling in, managing to surpass them all, to their surprise.

“Oh boy, no hazard Pri comes crashing in.” Cardox smiled.

“Wat sat name?” Kazlaena looked at Cardox curiously.

“Means Pri doesn’t yield to the hazards of the road.” Cardox grinned. “Just comes tearin through to take the lead.”

“Lead has been gained in hazard gamble.” Pri joked, then hit a corner hard and spun right around.

“Oh, the ‘no hazard’ loses control and spins right out.” Sita imitated a race commentator as they went zooming past Pri’s spinout. “Can she recover in time to catch the best racer this side of the Astral Feather?”

“Intent is spoken.” Pri focused on catching back up.

Their next round of obstacles were a bunch of quick turns and plastic boulder debris on the road. While the others slowed down to navigate through carefully, Pri came crashing in, sending the debris flying all over the place.

“No hazard shows no time for caution. Prink is trying eagerly to get back to first, but Kazgreenla makes it hard.” Sita commentated as they raced into their third caution zone, the narrow bridge.

Kazlaena got right on Sita’s bumper while Pri got right on Kazlaena’s bumper. Cardox saw an opportunity and hit the brakes, hoping to make someone swerve off the bridge, but it worked against him. Sita kept straight, Kazlaena slowed a bit, but Pri pushed her car into Kazlaena’s and all three impacted on Cardox’s car, sending it flying into the bridge support pillar at the end, and spiraling off the elevated raceway.

“Nooooo.” Cardox exaggerated as he cursed under his breath.

Sita, Kazlaena and Pri separated from each other and began racing headlong towards a descent, narrowly avoiding disaster themselves as their cars took flight.

“Whoa...” Kazlaena gasped and then started giggling.

Pri managed to get past her, then tried to get around Sita, but her daring speed and maneuvers began to catch up with her. There was a steep drop in the road that required a certain speed not to be breached, but Pri was well in excess of that. Her car launched off the road and sailed right past the sharp corner at the bottom, sending the pink vehicle tumbling over and over. Pri’s open mouthed expression of shock showed she had entirely not expected that result to occur.

“Prink down, Prink down.” Cardox announced. “The final two racers are nearly bumper to bumper as they hit the tunnel, hopin they can hold’er steady. Will it be the Seets or the Kaz that takes the checkered flag, we will soon find out.”

Kazlaena and Sita remained competitive up to the last stretch, until Sita went all or nothing and got too close to Kazlaena’s car, causing their wheels to contact and throwing them both wildly out of control. Sita’s car launched off the track while Kazlaena’s tumbled over several times, stopping short of the finish line by a hand length, resting on its roof.

“AH, Nooo!!!” Kazlaena started giggling hysterically, then launched at Sita, trying to get her in a tickling hug.

“Hostilities on the track.” Cardox said in an announcer voice. “The Vandean damned near had the race. She was in the pocket but this uppity ex-marine kid from south of the galactic plane made a foolishly risky move and took them both out. Now they be fightin on the track. This display of conduct is so unsportsmanlike, ain’t nobody ever seen a thing like this before...” He joined in, lifting Kazlaena up as Sita tickled around her ears.

“Sherrif is tag teamed. Odds must be evened.” Pri moved quickly and managed to bearhug Sita from behind, pulling her back.

“Ah, I knew you two were in cahoots.” Sita laughed. “Friggin, frig off Vandie. Frig off Sezarie.” She managed to spin partly around and tickle Pri right above her tail.

It was a known vulnerable spot with Sezars, given the locations slightly elevated sensitivity to certain kinds of touch. Pri burst out in surprise laughter and let Sita go, stepping back and into the wall, displaying a stunned expression. Sita held her hands up like a boxer but was assailed from behind by fuzzy arms as Kazlaena took a tight hold.

“Cards, how’d she get free?” Sita looked over and saw Cardox leaning against the wall in a fit of almost noiseless laughter, holding his belly as he laughed about something she had not seen.

“Little Sherrif has experience dealing with Orangutang Jack and his antics.” Pri grinned. “Never underestimate power of well-placed nose bonk to face or ears.”

“Oh no...” Sita whispered as she heard a radio out in the hall.

“Oh...!” Kazlaena let go and looked up at Sita with a bit of a mischievous grin. “Who could sat be?”

The voice on the radio sounded like Proculus, meaning at least, it was not him in the hall.

“Jack. Sound of footfalls point to Jack.” Pri said quietly.

With caution, all four of them looked out of the door, seeing Jack heading down the hall as Proculus squawked over the radio about paperwork still needing to be turned in. Cardox dipped away for a sec as the others watched on, then saw him return with a foam ball gun. Without sharing his intention, he fired off three shots, missing the first one, striking Jack in the rear with the second, and the third domed off the back of Jack’s head and bounced up into the conduits running along the ceiling.

“The fuckin hell?” Jack stopped and spun around, seeing a pair of tails swoop quickly into a door.

Hmm. Right then ... I see how it is...

He moved down the hall slowly, not entirely sure what his plan was since he had nothing to retaliate with. He had seen a bushy tail and a long-feathered tail, which told him who two of the culprits were. But since they never did stuff like that, it meant there was at least a third offender. An idea tapped on his mind, and he withdrew to his own quarters, keeping an eye on the hall, all the while listening to a nonstop chatter about the importance of paperwork. He emerged after retrieving an item and moved back down the hall, confident the offenders were still in their room. As he neared the door, he slowed down, hearing the radio go silent as Proculus ended his chatter. Jack scratched his chin and wondered how he could gain access to the room, knowing he just needed a moment to make his counterattack. He could hear muffled giggling inside and bit his lip, sucking in air as he did so. He let out an exhale and tapped on the door, making it seem subtle.

“Hey, It’s Saito. Jack’s gone. I saw what you did. He is so mad.” Jack imitated Saito as best as he could.

The door opened and Sita’s eyes widened in shock as she realized they had all been fooled.

“Oh shit!” She went to push the door closed but Jack clicked a button on a stink tube and tossed it into the room.

A moment later there was a pop inside and a great deal of surprised shouting ensued.

“Yo! What the fu ... uuuuuu ... uuugggggg!” Sita covered her mouth with her hands.

“What was sat!” Kazlaena demanded. “Sat’s ‘orrible. Sat s-sme-ell. U-Uur-Urrrrrrffffff!”

“Cheeehhhhaaahhhkkkk! Cheeeeeehhhhaaaaahhck!” Pri moved to pull the door open to get out, but Jack was firmly holding it closed. “Ja-heeeackkk. Open doo ... doo ... daaack.”

“Urrfff! Jack, open ... Urrrfff!” Kazlaena retched.

“Fuckin, smells so bad.” Sita said plainly through her nausea. “So bad, uh oh...” She felt vomit rising into her mouth.

Jack let Pri open the door as he stepped back several paces to avoid catching any of the smell. Pri and Kazlaena emerged almost together, falling to their knees and keeling over as they coughed and retched. Cardox and Sita ran out close behind, covering their faces as they tried to stifle the desire to vomit.

“Chee-chee-ugghhh, coughcough* Pri looked up at Jack with bloodshot eyes.

“Urf, Urf, cough* Huuurruugh!” Kazlaena took in deep breaths as she stood up. “J-Jack! Sat sing, sat’s so smelly and bad!” She began coughing again as she lightly swung her fists at his belly.

Jack blocked her low-key attack and looked over the rest of them trying to recover, carrying a content smile on his face.

“Vengeance is mine.” He turned to leave but several hands took hold of him and both Cardox and Sita made stupid noises over the radio.

Fake burping ensued, along with obnoxious sounds, forced giggles, even a long, drawn-out fake fart, ending with Sita saying, “Brought to you by Jack Coralane,” in an altered voice to disguise herself.

“Coralane!” Proculus snapped over the radio. “Is that you?”

“Nooooooo!” Jack broke free of them, turning to give them all concerned looks. “What have you done?” He then spoke into his radio. “That was not me, First Officer.”

“Vengeance upon vengeance, Jacko.” Sita said, still stifling vomit attempts.

“He’s gonna be gunnin for me now. How the hell am I gonna explain this?” Jack showed a bit of concern as Proculus replied, making his lack of satisfaction in Jack’s response known.

“You’ll figure it o-out.” Cardox looked towards the playroom. “I got my own is-issues h-here ... ugh. Yech!” He bent over and held his belly for a moment.

“Chirp* Was stink strike necessary?” Pri looked at Jack, half grinning, half covering her face to steady her nausea.

“Never do sat again!” Kazlaena scolded. “Jack! I stink like sat stuff now! Urf.”

“Coralane, are you making inappropriate sounds into the radio?” Lucinia’s voice came through the speaker.

“No, Captain. That wasn’t me.”

“Uh huh.” Proculus’ voice came in. “Coralane, Do I need to remind you about proper officer behavior?”

“Negative, First Officer.” Jack shot them all a frustrated look and whispered. “What the full throttle chicken basket!” He headed off as Proculus started giving him another reprimand.

“Stars and sweet fu-rikkin moons that reeks.” Cardox waved the air. “I’m gonna go change and shower after I figure out how to get this reek out of all the stuff in here.” He walked up to the door and backed away quickly. “In a few minutes, that is.”

“Good call.” Sita agreed.

“Urf!” Kazlaena clenched her hands over the end of her snout as Pri smelled at her own clothing with a disgusted expression.

Jack yawned as he looked over the documents on his computer and rubbed his face. He was in the rec room, barely managing to keep his focus on the portable computer as the others in the room laughed and joked about the game in progress on the V.R. Kazlaena was playing the monster hunter game with Nyka, showing the Lexo what all the controls were. Rusu and Pri sat on the loveseat. Cardox and Sita occupied their chairs while Delilah and Saito were on the big couch. Jack saw Nyka’s movements in the game were the most careful and calculated of any of the players. She was always methodical, slow, and calculating as she moved through the game space. Jack watched them all intently focusing on the game, and he smiled momentarily.