Chapter 28

Mike was waiting for us when we walked down the stairway at Moffett.

“I’m glad you’re home. We’re going to high alert around the world,” he said.

“Good to see you, too. What happened while we were in the air?”

“Shit’s gotten a bit too real for some people. They’re freaking out, basically. Word leaked out about the conference of world leaders in Geneva. You told the Congress to keep their mouths shut. They did, and still are, surprisingly enough. But no one told the NCAA people, so when they said something, the reporters that weren’t getting anything from Congress called the world leaders. At least four of them confirmed what the NCAA said.”

I winced. “Oops. I didn’t think about threatening them. How bad is it?”

He shrugged. “It depends upon your definition of the word ‘bad.’ If you mean, all the Chicken Little and tin-foil hat nuts are having some people listen to them that normally wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire, then it’s bad. There’s already some panic buying of things, and some people are freaking out and evacuating anyway. President Reagan called while you were still in the air. Several governors have gone ahead and acted ahead of his Federal emergency declaration. So have a few other national leaders. Mycroft is being an efficient secretary and has a list of people for you to call or talk to.”

“Sounds like I’m going to be busy tonight, then,” I said.

“Yeah. Cristian Bauman and Otis Bowen are, for the most part, handling things at the international level for North and South America. Now that they’re home, Diana and Helen need to be in the loop for Europe and Asia.”

“We have been, for the last two hours,” Diana said as she joined us at the bottom of the stairs. She pointed to the side of her head.

Helen nodded, and said, “Yes, Cal was otherwise occupied, so while he noticed Diana and me leaving the group activities, he didn’t say anything.”

“Group activities,” I repeated with a laugh. “That’s being polite.”

“It beats the hell out of saying you were dealing with a woman who was discovering the joys of sex and what being in a relationship with you is all about,” Karen said as she slipped her arm around her husband. “It’s fortunate that Atlantic was as empty as it was. That let the rest of us move further back in the plane, because the soundproofing between your cabin and the mid-section is quite inadequate, even if I didn’t have enhanced hearing.”

Mike turned and gave me the lifted eyebrow look.

“I didn’t even have to use a birthday candle,” Helen said, grinning. “Cal’s grandfather in his necklace was more than powerful enough to channel the souls to confirm that we’ve added another sister-wife. And Cal gets another brother-in-law, too.”

Brent and Sayel came down the stairs.

“Where’s the rest of this merry band?” Brent asked.

“Marcia and Jennifer are helping Paula with getting ready, basically, and probably won’t be down for another hour or so,” Diana said. “Cal being who he is, only takes a few seconds to shower, dry off, and get dressed. Helen and I quit partaking more than two hours before landing, so we’d have time to clean up. And yes, Michael, that means we were talking on the phone while in the shower and otherwise putting make-up on.”

Sayel said, “In that case, I will remain here, Master.”

“Thank you. There are at least two women on the plane carrying my children.”

“Probably three,” Brent said, just shaking his head. “I know for a fact that Paula wasn’t on birth control due to the way the hormones interacted with her system.”

“Hey, Brent,” I said.

He looked at me.

“Are you okay with everything?” I asked.

“You cured my sister, and gave her her life back, which is what I asked of you. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me a little, but I’d be the biggest hypocrite in the world if I didn’t give her my blessing,” he said with a shrug.

“She says ‘Thank you’ and they’ll be along as quickly as they can,” Diana said.

At Brent’s look, Diana pointed at her head again. “That’s the other way we know she’s part of us.”

“Come on, let’s get home before Mike has a fit. It sounds like I need to make some phone calls, or at least see what’s going on in the world,” I said.

At least the locals that weren’t part of my Kingdom had gotten used to seeing our convoys of vehicles going back and forth from Stanford to Moffett, so they just pulled over until we passed by.

Margie was the first one to greet me at the door.

“You need to watch it, buster! From what I understand, I was this close to losing my title!”

I laughed and said, “Don’t worry, Margie! You’ll always be my Slut!”

“Okay, then, as long as that’s settled,” she said, dropping her faux outrage. “Seriously though, don’t you imagine this was something you might’ve given at least a little bit of consideration to beforehand?”

“Not helping Brent’s sister never entered my mind, once he asked me. He’s family, which ... well, you know me too well. Keep in mind that as rapidly as Paula’s MS had progressed – from normalcy to bedridden within only twenty years – she probably would’ve only lived another ten years, and the last couple would’ve been on life support. To be honest and frank, I expected gratitude, and was fully prepared for that. Mike’s report on her only mentioned she had progressive and degenerative MS. It skipped the relatively minor detail of her education and work experience,” I said.

Mike and Karen had come in with us and taken seats at the dining room table as well. He’d gotten a cup of coffee when he’d come in, and took a sip before he said, “That one’s on me. We were looking for threats. So, we knew Paula Cain had MS. At the time we pulled Brent’s background, she wasn’t quite bedridden, but getting close. Just from her medical information, she was classified as a non-threat, so we didn’t dig into her history any further. We knew Brent was supplementing what she was getting paid by Penn State, to help with her medical care. So, other than her potential as a secondary kidnap victim that might be used in an attempt to force leverage – which, given who Brent is, was so low as to be almost nonexistent – she was just a file in our records.”

Karen levitated Junior up from her bag and sent him back to his case.

Then she said, “Honestly, none of us had a clue about her education and background. I learned a bit of it talking to Paula while working on her on the flight over. I was slightly concerned that she might get a bit of hero worship. I spent some time talking with Eve while Paula was sleeping about the ‘Damsel in Distress’ syndrome, the ‘White Knight’ syndrome, and the ‘Savior’ syndrome. Cal is, rather unfortunately, a perfect fit for all three of those for someone who might see him in any or all of those roles, as they’re closely related.”

Hannah chuckled and said, “I can definitely relate to that. I think so far, I’m the only one who actually said he was her god, though.”

Dora shook her head. “No, but you took it a bit further than I did. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a reason why Shiva was able to pass himself off as a god. Cal could’ve very easily done the same thing, if he’d been of a mind to do so. I know I wasn’t exactly the most helpful acolyte. Because of my own upbringing plus my age, I was literally primed and ready to accept someone in that role.”

Smiling, Karen said, “Don’t forget, Irhaal did the god thing for a while, too. It takes very special people to keep those with powers like Cal has, to remind him that he’s not a god...” she took Mike’s hand in hers and gave it a loving squeeze, “or a goddess.”

“Been there, almost did that,” Beth said. “I didn’t know what it was, but I did have the ‘White Knight’ syndrome. Hell, I still have a bit of it. It’s hard to not have it, when you know you can save so many people. Being female only makes it worse, because of what I would call a mothering instinct.”

“Yes, it does,” Karen agreed. “However, you’re not a god, and you’re not even Mizz Marvel. Although the three of you have done a rather remarkable job with certain facets of the community in the City of Angels.”

Dora snickered and said, “It’s amazing how many criminals will self-confess to the police for the property crimes that no one even knew had happened. We haven’t stopped all crime down there, of course. There are too many stupid people for that. Not a whole lot of serial rapists, assaults, or murders now, though, for some reason.”

“I wonder what Doctor Ely would say if he knew I’ve had some very interesting and productive discussions with the surviving members of the Hells Angels, the Mexican Mafia, the Bloods, and the Crips. It’s a shame I can’t use the knowledge I’ve gained talking with them in class, but it’d make for an interesting paper,” Beth said. “At least they learned their lesson regarding illegal drugs, courtesy of the United States Military. It doesn’t matter how tough a gang banger you think you are, when you’re going up against real combat soldiers. And when you actually meet one of the ‘Angels from Above’ in person, and she tells you to get your shit straight, even the nastiest Crip just pleaded for his life when dangling by his feet from five thousand feet up. It’s almost a shame the Aryan Brotherhood never wised up. Oh, well, at least I’ve gotten some practice with my human discus throw.”

“I, uh, knew the three of you had been making appearances down there. I didn’t realize you were making quite that much of an appearance,” I said.

Dora laughed, then. “You know how the priests say confession is good for the soul? I got, what, thirty or more bad men to just – voluntarily – walk into police stations and confess to a whole slew of rapes, property crimes, assaults, and other things that weren’t quite at the level of murder. Oh, and for some reason, they all said they didn’t want any kind of defense lawyers, they just wanted to be behind bars so they could start to pay their debt to society.”

Mike frowned, then, and said, “The three of you have to watch that. Being a vigilante can be a slippery slope, especially if you’re also being judge, jury, and executioner.”

“Actually, we realize that. For the most part, the actual gang bangers have pretty much figured out their way of life is over, because they can’t run drugs any more. That’s an automatic death sentence, with no chance for appeal,” Beth said. “Since there’s no turf to fight over for dealing drugs, there’s not a lot of sense in fighting. Without the income from drug money, they can’t do all the other stuff they were into, either. Plus, probably, what? Ten thousand or so just from the greater Los Angeles area ended up dead, so the survivors are pretty much counting themselves lucky,” Beth explained. “My visits with them were, more or less, to reinforce the lessons they’d already learned from the Army, and discuss their options for future existence. The Aryan Brotherhood, on the other hand, were just a bunch of misogynistic, racist assholes. You land in front of them, you let them shoot you a couple times – which does nothing, of course – and they still tell you they want to fuck you because it’s their right to rule over everyone. Well, I saw some discussion on a Usenet group that best described them after that. They won Darwin Awards.”

I snorted, then. “I saw that topic. Selected themselves right out of the gene pool, didn’t they? If picking a fight with one of the ‘Angels’ isn’t worthy of winning that Award, then I’m not sure what is. Oh, and Margie?”

“Yes, Dear?”

Chuckling at her tone, I said, “If you recall, it was my first three that encouraged me to seduce you, and then you were all for adding Marcia as well. Jennifer certainly didn’t hold back in helping bring Hanna into the fold, either.”

“Oh, I know. It’s just that it’s been nearly a year since you added a wife to the family. I admit I honestly thought we were done doing that.”

“We women know what we feel, when we feel it,” Diana said. “I’ve seen the effect that our husband has on other women, especially when we’ve been in public situations. For the most part, they simply wonder what it is about him that makes him so attractive to all of us, but have no desire to do more than ... well, what we did at the chocolate factory, and that’s to sample the goods. They have no wish to actually ‘make’ more chocolate on their own, they’re simply content to purchase it at the store – because they can’t conceive of actually sharing their chocolate with someone else, like we do.”

“There’s that, plus plural marriages were more common on Star Home than here,” Karen said. “Probably, what, a third or more families?”

I nodded, “Something like that. Bob mentioned it in one of his stories. When you live for thousands of years, monogamy is the exception rather than the rule.”

“Fascinating, of course, and what Beth, Dora, and Eve are doing plays right along with your telling the leaders the ‘Angels’ would help as best they could with the small stuff,” Mike said. “However, that doesn’t get to the main point, which is human stupidity.”

“I’m not surprised. All I have to do is look across the Bay to see that.”

“Actually, it’s not all bad. A lot of it is a result of Congress keeping things hidden even from the Governors of their states. You remember that call from Deukmejian, where they’d told him nothing other than to listen very carefully to whatever you said, and to do anything and everything you told him. After talking to you, he got on the horn to the other forty-nine Governors. Net result is, some of them decided to pull the plug before President Reagan officially asked for it. Eighteen states have already activated their National Guard units. Florida is starting mandatory civilian coastal evacuations this weekend, moving everyone inland by five miles except for vital city services for their coastal cities. The Keys are being completely evacuated, period.

“California, New York, and Texas are doing something similar, but to a lesser degree of distance. There are just too many people who live on those coastlines. It’s impossible to totally evacuate Los Angeles, Houston, or New York City. State of Washington still doesn’t like you, but they’re actually implementing their tsunami plans that have existed in a file cabinet for years. So is Alaska, and most of the rest of the East Coast States. Did you really say Hawaii is dead?” he asked.

“No. With the clarification that I was explaining that if his ship hit nearby, then Hawaii is dead. But that was just after I’d shown what would happen if it hit Germany, and how many tens of millions that would kill,” I explained. “I’ll call Larry Mehau. He’ll understand.”

“Good enough. We’re already working with Bud Adams, Leon Hess, and Lamar Hunt. They’re going to shut down all their off-shore drilling rigs in the Gulf of Mexico, evacuate all but a couple of essential crew members from each of them, so they won’t lose too many people if one of them gets a direct or indirect hit. They’re advising all other drilling companies to do the same,” Mike said.

“You have been busy. Thank you, that’s something I completely forgot.”

“I can’t take all the credit for that. While I’m in charge of your military forces, you also have your CEDEM staff that knows what’s going on, going to happen, and know when to ask for help from your military forces.”

I looked at Margie when he said that. She shook her head.

“Not me, my sister back in Kansas. Once we knew that the comet had changed course, Emily started an international disaster group. We have the CERT teams, but those are for dealing with the worst of the localized – on a continental basis, anyway – damage control. We hadn’t done anything as far as our own physical assets were concerned. We figured there’d be damage, but only from the fight. Not from meteors. So, being the children of Kansas that we are, and knowing all about tornado preparedness – and especially remembering what happened to Elspeth – there are certain things we’re doing for our people.”

At my look, she said, “Yes, I know you’re responsible for the whole world. But we’re talking about close family and friends, personal friends. Like everyone from Reno County, for example. They’ll be safe unless it’s a major, direct hit from something big enough that it won’t matter.”

“The salt mines...” I said.

“Well, one of them, anyway. Plus there’s a big push to clean up all the fallout shelters, plus everyone that has a tornado shelter is going to use that, instead of taking space in the public shelters. Microsoft is going to open their office buildings, since those were built to withstand tornadoes, as well. That’s for Hutchinson. In the meantime, her team also has been coordinating with the State Emergency Management Agencies for Kansas and Oklahoma, to make sure our people there have shelter. One of the things they did was get a bulk delivery of disposable ear plugs. Twenty hours of explosions aren’t going to do anyone’s hearing any good.”

Mike nodded and said, “That’s a good idea. We’ll implement that one as well. Nearly every other state is working on preparations in advance here in the US, with Louisiana being the major notable exception. Everyone knows that when you look in the dictionary for the definition of corrupt government, there’s a picture of Louisiana, with special emphasis on New Orleans. Of course, after the Civil War, there were hundreds of thousands of Sicilians that moved to New Orleans and Louisiana, and they included a lot of the Italian Mafia. In the rest of the country today, the Mafia has to work around state governments. The cousin of the Governor of Louisiana is one of the leading organized crime figures there, and is the fixer for everything in New Orleans.”

“In other words, they want a bribe to do anything,” I said.

From his seat at the table, Jeremy Gage, my Special United States Deputy Marshal sighed and nodded, then said, “Yeah, pretty much. I’ve talked to the Feeble Brained Institute, also known as the FBI, about it. That went exactly nowhere, so then I decided to use your special connection, as it were, and spoke directly to Marat Balagula. He’s actually a pretty nice guy to talk to, once you establish where you stand with him. He, uh, also said to tell you that he appreciates doing business with you, because you’re very straight forward.”

He chuckled and said, “That, and you scare the hell out of him. And that was before he saw you invade Afghanistan and casually shoot all those guards like you were strolling down Fifth Avenue. Anyway, he said the Families in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York will do all they can to make sure the civilians are protected and that they will also help in making sure there is no looting or lawlessness afterwards. His solemn word of honor on that, even. But he said Louisiana is a special case, and that their Mafia branch doesn’t care about the rest of the Families. Apparently that goes all the way back to the days of Capone, when Al went to visit and they used police officers to break every bone in the hands of Capone’s bodyguards.”

“Did the film of what I did in Afghanistan get shown on the news or something?”

Marcia said, “Well, yeah, of course. You’re the Guardian of the Earth, after all. You’re the one who told the US Congress what they’re going to do. Deukmejian wasn’t joking when he said that if you wanted to destroy Berkeley, go ahead.”

Charles Allen, my head of security, laughed. “I remember when you and Beth took me and Dave on at Frontierland. Thirty-five for thirty-five each using those rifles. Marcia made sure we got a good copy of the film for our own purposes. Did you know you put every single round in exactly the same spot on every single guard you killed?”

“No, but...” I shrugged, then said, “I understand why Toby didn’t have any problems when he was taking money from the Navy at Adak. Selector switch on semi, and easily controllable recoil, made it easy. But that doesn’t deal with helping Louisiana, does it?”

“Nope,” Chuck said. “When do you want to go?”

I sighed. “I’d like to just say ‘fuck them’ and let them all drown, but there’s a lot of innocent people that live there, too. Tell Governor ... sorry, had to think for a second ... Edwards and Mayor Morial that the Federation Minister of Spatial Defense will be arriving at New Orleans International on Monday at one in the afternoon. I would like to have a short, and in person, meeting with them to ‘resolve’ any issues they might have regarding the upcoming disaster.”

Beth snorted. “Apropos of nothing in particular, it’s less than four miles from the airport there to Lake Pontchartrain.”

“Oh, really? Why, that’s interesting, isn’t it? Maybe I’ll get in some fly fishing while I’m visiting,” I said.

That got a laugh from everyone.

The door opened, with Marcia and Jennifer showing Paula in.

“Welcome home, our newest sister-wife,” Beth said. “We can put faces to almost all the rest of us. I’m Beth, this is Dora, and you’ve talked to Eve mentally, but she looks exactly like her mother, so that’s easy.”

“She told me she was on the basketball team and they had a game at UCLA today.”

“Correct,” Jennifer said. “That’s Hanna, the other redhead in the bunch. Next to her is Saryu, then Mahi, Kareena, Margie, Shinkai, Mina, and lastly, Jasveer. Niranjana and Sukhjeet are in Islamabad.”

“That’s so weird, this telepathic communication ability,” Paula said. “It’s not distance sensitive?”

“Not out to several million miles,” I said. “Oh, before I forget – which I’m apt to do, and I don’t want to get reminded about it – Marcia, could you bring your tub in?”

“I am not fat,” Marcia said, then giggled. “Oh, you meant my tub of jewels. Yeah.”

“Good job on not needing to be reminded,” Beth said. “Don’t get up, Marcia, I’ll bring it in. Everyone else, go ahead and introduce yourselves.”

Using her telekinesis, Beth floated the tub of gems and gold in, along with one of the shivalingam from my backpack. I took out a piece of gold and quickly began making a ring for a shivalingam, while mentally talking with Marcia about what would be the appropriate color stone for Paula’s necklace. We ended up deciding on a simple four carat diamond.

“Doesn’t that ... I don’t know? Hurt or something?” Paula asked.

I shook my head and said, “The only time it bothered me was when I was learning how to do it. Then, it gave me a headache. It’s like when learning a new exercise, you have to do it a lot to gain the muscle memory.”

“Yeah, not really been something I’ve had much ability to do, thank you,” she said with a little bite.

“Here, Cal, let me help you get that foot out of your mouth,” Beth said, grinning.

From the television set in the corner, Mycroft said, “Minor details like that are why your grandfather now lives on your neck, Cal. Hello, Paula, I’m Mycroft, one of the two created intelligences that watch over Cal and try to keep him from screwing up too badly. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

She looked at the television screen, her eyes wide. “I can’t tell any difference between talking to you and just talking to someone else via closed circuit television. Oh, wait, there is one. You look much clearer.”

“I should. There’s no camera involved. I directly manipulate the image on the screen.”

“Doesn’t that take up a lot of processor capability?” she asked.

He shook his head. “Most things are programmable, such as movements like this,” he said, reaching up to brush his hair back. “All I have to do is initiate the appropriate subroutine. Plus, I dare say that I have more raw processing and memory power than anything on the planet, with the obvious exception of Pahto.”

From the other television, Pahto said, “Since we’re also sharing some of my capability, and I’m already used to dealing with hundreds of personal conversations at the same time, I may have taught Mycroft some of my tricks. Hello, Paula, it’s my pleasure to meet you. Tomorrow, or some time this weekend, I’d like to meet you in person. I suspect you are one of the few people alive who I can discuss my power supply with and not have it be over their head.”

Paula sighed, and then put her head down a little. “Thank you, Pahto. I look forward to that. Cal?”

“Yes, Paula?”

“I’m sorry for being snippy with you.”

I stood up and walked over to her. “I would imagine you’re not going to get over all of the emotional trauma that the last twenty years has caused you, overnight. Fortunately, I’ve learned there’s one nice thing about being married to the smartest women on the planet. It’s easy for me as their, and your, husband to tell when I’ve made a mistake, because they’ll let me know about it. At the same time, I’ve also learned from some of my past mistakes. Thus, I now have this for you.”

With that, I took her left hand in mine, and slipped a perfectly fitted ring onto her ring finger. While she was looking at that, I then brought the necklace out, with her initial surrounded by mine, and the large diamond wrapped in a silver and gold filigree.

“Marcia will have to get your head size, unless you happen to already match one of the other ladies. That way, she can get your tiaras made, my newest and most courageous Princess.”

Paula blinked, then her eyes filled with tears. “That’s a lovely necklace. I can’t believe you just made it, just for ... me. Thank you. But ... Princess?”

Diana said, “You’ve had a lot thrown at you over the last few days. Amongst ourselves, we call our home here the Trailer Park Palace. Almost eighteen thousand square feet, and it’s all from connected modular and mobile homes. But it is a Royal Palace, all the same, just as Cal is a King, with three Queens and now fifteen Royal Princesses.”

With his eyes, Mike picked everyone up that wasn’t one of my wives or children and they silently filed out. That gave us the close family time Paula needed to meet Toby, William, Harry, the babies, and realize that she was loved by everyone.

I woke up the next morning in my usual condition. Specifically, covered in women. I raised my head up and looked around.

“Took you long enough, sleepyhead,” Margie said from beside me.

“Yes, well, I don’t have either a game today, or classes, so if I want to be a slug-a-bed, I can,” I countered. Then I felt someone giving me a lick. “Not that I have any objections to starting my day out this way, but don’t we tend to not do this on a weekday morning?”

“I think it’s a perfectly fine way to start the day,” said my newest wife. “I have twenty years of living and loving to make up for. I’m still not totally convinced this isn’t some kind of wild and wonderful dream.”

“Keep that thought in mind in about six months, when your bladder is smaller than a walnut,” Jennifer said. “I’ve gone through it four times, and while it gets easier – and with the girls in the family and in obstetrics to help with labor pains, it’s a lot easier – it’s still a pain to have to pee every ten minutes for three months.”

Paula sighed contentedly and said, “I’m looking forward to it. I don’t know why I was so upset last night. Everyone has been so kind and caring, and Cal is certainly the most wonderful man in the world.”

“I do,” Dora said. “Know what was throwing you off a bit. You should be fine, from now on. I took care of it.”

“You took care of what?” Paula asked, confused.

“There were a couple of glandular issues that Karen didn’t know about to fix. When Diana joined the family, she had bulimia brought on by stress and being married to Prince Horse Fucker. We fixed the physical problems Diana had, because they were relatively simple, and then the rest was psychological adjustment. In your case, Karen repaired all the damage to your myelin sheathing by literally replacing all of it with new, then going through the rest of your body and fixing whatever damage had occurred. For example, your leg muscles were starting to atrophy, so she used the shivalingam to rebuild them. The problem was, there were some of your glands that weren’t damaged. But they had gotten used to your body being ... well, in a crappy condition. If they weren’t damaged, Karen didn’t fix them. Tie in a lot of flying time for jet lag, plus what Diana said about you having a lot thrown at you, and your glands were working overtime trying to compensate. Politely, you were a chemical mess. Since I’m Cal’s primary medical and lab assistant, I’m used to doing research. This was actually easy for me to figure out your problems, just watching from the side while you were otherwise enjoying yourself last night. Once I did that, I just channeled some energy and took care of it.”

“Oh,” Paula quietly said. “Is it just me, or does it seem weird to anyone else that I’m laying here with Cal’s penis in my hand from where I was just licking him, while we’re having this conversation?”

Helen chuckled from where she was being gently tongued by Mina. “There’s not much that’s normal about us. You mentioned you’ve not been able to orgasm for the last six years, due to the way things progressed. I certainly didn’t – oh, yes, right there, Mina – see any problem on the flight home, or last night. Keep in mind that we’re all linked mentally, too. You know what you like, or you’ll find out. Didn’t it seem a little odd to you that when you were fingering Shinkai that you knew just how to make her scream and squirt?”