Marvin Purdoch was woken by sunlight shining on his face. That wasn’t right. Groggily he reached for his alarm clock; it showed two in the morning but it wasn’t ticking. Marvin shook the clock and it started ticking. He was going to be late for work.

Marvin rushed to the shower. He got in and turned on the water. The pipes rattled a few times then the showerhead spat out a few gobs of liquid rust. Marvin turned off the shower and dried himself as best he could. He’d have to call the plumber later.

Heading to the kitchen, Marvin opened the door to find a cat looking at him. He didn’t have a cat. The cat had savaged his kitchen cabinets and puked, pissed and shat on his kitchen floor. He open the back door and tried to shoo the cat outside, succeeding only after the cat had scratched and bitten him, drawing blood.

Marvin put a couple of slices of bread in his two-slot toaster. After a couple of minutes, one slice of toast shot out and hit the ceiling, sticking to it, while the other slot exuded a pall of black smoke, activating the smoke detector and setting off the sprinkler.