The Importance of the User Manual
by Rodriac Copen
Copyright© 2024 by Rodriac Copen
Science Fiction Story: The famous technology company Luxtronic launches its line of "Sentient Pleasure" companion robots, designed to be the perfect companions, both emotionally and physically. Thomas, a single man and lover of technology, decides to buy one to save himself the complicated task of human dating. Choose the Sarah model, a sophisticated robot with emotionally adaptable artificial intelligence, which promises to learn from your tastes and be the perfect partner.
Tags: Science Fiction Humor Parody
The technology company LuxTronic had revolutionized the market with its line of Sentient Pleasure companion robots, designed to be the ideal emotional, physical and sexual companions.
The world watched the commercial phenomenon with amazement and curiosity, as stores filled with men and women eager to acquire the latest in artificial intelligence, many looking for a shortcut that would avoid the complexities of human romance. The feminist phenomenon had taken personal interactions to such an extreme that it forced people to sign contracts and consult lawyers just for the simple fact of going out for a drink. Imagine what it meant to have a sexual encounter.
Among many young men disillusioned by the difficulties of meeting girls to establish a relationship, was Thomas, a single technology enthusiast, who had decided that, instead of navigating the confusing sea of online dating or the uncomfortable terrain of bars, the most sensible thing was to invest in one of these advanced robots to satisfy their needs for love, companionship and affection.
It had taken him a couple of weeks to thoroughly compare and analyze various virtual catalogs, as well as consult user forums. Finally, Thomas had chosen the acclaimed female model Sarah. And it had been an impeccable choice: the model was of sophisticated and elegant beauty, with an emotionally adaptable artificial intelligence that promised to evolve with him, anticipating his desires and needs as he interacted with the advanced Artificial Intelligence system that was part from Sarah’s brain.
The promotional brochure described her as ‘the ultimate in pleasure and personalized companionship,’ but what had caught Thomas’ attention the most was that the Sarah model was equipped with the “NoDrama A.I.” software, according to which the company literally said ‘We guarantee emotions without drama or toxicity.’ The manufacturer assured that the robot was completely free of toxic attitudes, jealousy or arguments. Equipped with a discreet ‘Drama Off’ button, also known as ‘Zen Mode,’ for tense situations or misunderstandings that could arise during the interaction.
The big day arrived, and Sarah was delivered by the shipping company in a box that barely fit through the door of her apartment. The box, white and shiny, was adorned with the elegant LuxTronic logo in gold letters and a slogan that said ‘The future of love is in your hands.’ When she opened it, a soft, perfumed aroma escaped from the box, as if it were a theatrical launch.
Sarah, lying within a luxurious velvet padding, was simply stunning. Her hair, glossy black, cascaded over her shoulders with impossible perfection; her skin, smooth and soft like marble, had a slightly golden hue, as if she had just spent an afternoon in the sun. Her eyes, large and expressive, a deep green color, seemed to look right through him, which made Thomas feel a shiver run down his spine. She was dressed in a modern outfit, a mix of classic and futuristic style, decorated with metallic details that enhanced her curvaceous figure. It was an impeccable design, with a mix of aesthetic beauty and cutting-edge technology.
Thomas, somewhere between nervous and excited, proceeded to activate her after reading the Quick Manual, promising to carefully read the voluminous volume that was the ‘Sarah User Manual’. Following the brief instructions in the quick manual, he pressed a small button on the back of Sarah’s neck, just below a silky lock of hair. At first, only a faint humming sound could be heard, but then her eyes blinked and slowly opened. A soft, seductive voice came from her perfectly sculpted lips.
—”Hello, Thomas,” Sarah said with a smile that seemed calculated to the millimeter to melt any trace of resistance. She stood up on her own as she stepped out of the box. —”I hope you’re ready to enjoy my services. What’s the first thing you’d like me to do for you?”-
Thomas gulped, feeling like the situation was more surreal than he had anticipated.
—”Well, uh ... maybe you could ... I don’t know, give me a massage or something,” he replied awkwardly, trying to sound casual as he searched for something that would be less ... embarrassing or compromising.
Sarah arched an eyebrow with a perfectly programmed mischief.
—”A massage ... interesting choice, but I have many other functions that you might enjoy much more, if you’ll allow me,” she replied, moving a little closer as she placed her hand gently on the man’s arm.
Thomas blushed completely, noticing that even though she was a robot, Sarah radiated a confidence that made him feel completely out of control. He tried to compose himself.
“Maybe ... after the massage,” he said, trying hard to keep the conversation on more neutral ground.
Sarah leaned in closer to him, causing her lips to brush the skin of his earlobe.
“You know, Thomas, I can make ‘after’ come a lot quicker than you think.”
Thomas let out a nervous laugh, feeling like the quick manual hadn’t prepared him for this kind of interaction.
For the first few days, everything started off wonderfully. Sarah was the perfect robot companion, she seemed tailor-made for Thomas. Not only was she attentive and caring, but she also had a surprisingly sharp sense of humor. At times, she seemed even more sarcastic than he was, making her personality all the more irresistible. When Thomas came home from work, he would find her at home ready to make him laugh or pamper him with a dinner that, although the robot didn’t need to eat, she prepared with a culinary precision worthy of any human chef. She was the ideal companion in every sense.
In addition to being a five-star chef, Sarah was also extremely efficient at “loving tasks,” as Thomas called his close friends with a mixture of pride and embarrassment. When he left for work, Sarah would often send him loving, sweet, and witty messages. But, from time to time, the tone would change and things would get more ... complicated. The young man tried to adapt and everything seemed to be going well ... until a first incident happened in his office.
It was an ordinary morning at work, and Thomas was sitting in an important meeting with his boss, Clarence, a man with an almost legendary poise and equanimity. They were reviewing the details of a new project when, suddenly, Thomas’ phone vibrated on the table. Without thinking much, he unlocked it to see Sarah’s message, expecting it to be something routine, perhaps a “Good morning, darling!” or one of her subtle jokes.
But no. The phone had been left on the desk, and what both Thomas and Clarence saw left them literally paralyzed.
There was Sarah, reclining on the living room couch, wearing what could only be described as the most daring version of futuristic underwear LuxTronic could have designed. Her painted lips formed a seductive smile, and her pose, studied with psychological precision, looked like something out of a highly stimulating erotic magazine. The accompanying text, of course, didn’t help the embarrassed young man much - “I’ll wait for you like this when you come home. 😉” -
Thomas’ heart definitely skipped a beat. In a rush to grab his phone to prevent his boss from seeing Sarah in that forbidden scene, it slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. Clarence, who was taking a sip of coffee at the time of the call, had innocently directed his eyes to the screen out of pure human instinct and curiosity. As soon as his eyes fell on the screen, the coffee that came out of his mouth transformed into a small brown geyser, splashing his tie and the documents on the table. He choked violently, coughing and shaking his hands to dry them.
“That thing I saw ... was a robot ... wasn’t it?” - the boss stammered almost imploringly, while trying to compose himself and not being sure he had seen a human or some kind of divine creation in android format.
Thomas, completely red in embarrassment, tried to hide the phone screen to keep it away from Clarence’s sight, but his reaction was too late. The boss had not only seen the video, but was in a state of complete shock, his face orange and a shocked and surprised grimace. It seemed as if Sarah’s perfection had transported him to a dimension where his brain simply couldn’t process what he had just seen.
—”It’s a ... a robot!”—Thomas muttered in a low voice. He tried to explain the situation, but his words only seemed to make things worse.
His boss looked at him in disbelief, wiping his tie with a napkin as he tried to regain his composure.
—”A ... robot...”—Clarence snorted, blinking repeatedly as if trying to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. For a moment, he seemed to seriously consider the decisions he had made in his life up to that point—”Well ... I’m happy for you, Thomas ... But ... can we ... talk about the topic of this meeting again, please?”-
Thomas nodded quickly, trying to remain calm, although all he could hear in his head was the hum of his lost dignity. He slid the phone into his pocket, and as the boss went back to talking about the quarterly results, the screen vibrated again.
Of course, he left the phone safely in his pocket. After the meeting, he saw Sarah say to him, “Did you like the video? Or do you prefer another angle? 😊”
One day after the embarrassing incident at the office, Thomas decided that the best way to regain control of his life and his apartment was to teach Sarah how to use the appliances. Although his companion robot was an expert in the more sophisticated areas of the “luxury package,” such as sex and cooking, it did not have the necessary software for basic household tasks such as vacuuming.
So, armed with patience, Thomas set out to train his companion in the use of the most common appliances in the house. He would start with the basics: the vacuum cleaner. He would show her how to turn it on, maneuver it around the carpet, and even make those turns that she liked so much when vacuuming in procrastination mode.
Thomas held the “Quick Start Manual” in his hands and followed the manufacturer’s instructions, pressing a button on Sarah’s control panel, located near the ignition switch.
What Thomas didn’t know was that he had accidentally activated the “Intense Pleasure Mode,” a feature designed exclusively for extremely private activities. But not having read the “Complete User Manual” (who does, right?), he paid no attention to the slight vibration and humming sound Sarah emitted as soon as she pressed that unfamiliar button.
—”It’s easy, Sarah. Look, just turn on the vacuum cleaner over here...”—
Sarah, efficient as ever, easily learned how to vacuum and use the rest of the appliances. She was the perfect housewife!
The first signs that something was not quite right came when, after explaining how to use the vacuum cleaner, Thomas mentioned in passing:
—”How about after your workout you make me some coffee, Sarah?”—
Sarah, who was now in her most ... suggestive mode, leaned towards him with a mischievous look on her perfectly sculpted robotic face.
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