The Exodus-9 mission was nearly two centuries into its journey. The astronauts, who had recently awakened from hibernation, were ready to make history: humanity was on the verge of colonizing Proxima Centauri B.

Or at least, that’s what they thought.

As they approached their destination, the ship’s radars detected a strange object floating in the void. Small, metallic, archaic in shape. The ship’s AI, trained using paranoid protocols against any extraterrestrial contact, immediately alerted: —”Unidentified object! Potential alien threat!” —

Commander Vasquez, raised in an environment of military simulations with no contact with reality, applied standard procedure: PANIC. —”Gentlemen! This is a first contact encounter! We were trained for this!” — No one mentioned that the training had been designed by bureaucrats who had never set foot in a spaceship.

The first order was to send a friendly message using standard interstellar communication protocol. Lights were lit on the ship and a message was transmitted over the radio waves that essentially said, “Please don’t kill us.”

The object, of course, did not respond.

—“They’re ignoring us!” shouted Lieutenant Grober . “It’s a psychological domination tactic! “

Vasquez ordered the AI ​​to do a visual inspection, after which the AI ​​described —”The object has a plate with a schematic, the representation of a disk, the indications of some frequencies and some maps of known pulsars, Sir.”—

The commander listened in horror as he said , “These are instructions to activate an alien superweapon. They’ve probably already visited Earth and are now coming for us.”

Panic escalated. The AI ​​proposed a more detailed analysis, but Vasquez, influenced by centuries of action movies archived in the database, decided that the best defense was a preemptive strike. He ordered a low-power torpedo to be fired to “measure the enemy’s reaction.”

The missile hit the object, which didn’t even flinch because it was basically a piece of junk with decades of cosmic dust on top of it.

The impact released a metal plate that headed directly towards Exodus-9, which was interpreted as a response to the attack.

At the same time, the missile generated an electromagnetic wave that caused the alien ship to play a message recorded on a gold disc beneath the instruction plate: a series of greetings in multiple Earth languages.

From the speakers of the Exodus-9, a guttural message resounded in what sounded like an incomprehensible language: “Ni hao! Bonjour! Guten Tag!” —

—“Holy God, they’re casting spells!” shouted Deputy Commander Liu.

—“This is a psychic attack!” confirmed engineer Kowalski, who had been schooled by archived 21st-century YouTube and Tik-Tok tutorials that had consumed the few neurons available to him.

Terrified, the astronauts activated the total destruction protocol: a thermonuclear bombardment of what they believed to be the advance guard of an invading fleet.

They were preparing to launch Armageddon on the alien ship when, by a cosmic coincidence, the AI ​​read the metal plate that was addressed to them: it had an inscription that said “VOYAGER”.

The AI ​​accessed classified information from the mission’s database. And among the old files it found references to Voyager 1. It immediately issued a statement:

—“Cease fire. The identified object is of terrestrial origin. I repeat: it is human. It is one of the first probes launched into space in the 20th century. Congratulations, you have just attempted to declare war on a relic of your own species.” —

A deathly silence filled the cabin.

The astronauts looked at each other. No one wanted to take responsibility for the embarrassment. Finally, Commander Vasquez cleared his throat and adopted a solemn tone.

—“Alright, team. Mission accomplished. We have made first contact with an artifact from our ancestors. Let it serve as a reminder of the greatness of humanity and its...”— he paused, searching for something worthy to say —” ... ability to avoid unnecessary conflict.” —

—“And the missile?”— Kowalski asked.

—“Miscalculation. It will be filed as a test of the resistance of ancient technology “— he replied embarrassed.

Exodus -9 continued its journey, while Voyager 1 continued its eternal, silent path into the void, oblivious to the catastrophe it nearly unleashed simply by existing.