It. They’re Its to Me
by TMax
Copyright© 2026 by TMax
Humor Story: Ultra-short short about zombies, and protecting the granddaughter.
Tags: Science Fiction Humor Horror Zombies
On the porch, in the rocker, with the shotgun across my knees, I watch the granddaughter play in the front yard.
Like her mother, but kind, and energetic. She ran from white picket fence to white picket fence, “Ready, set, Go...” “Ready, set, Go...”
I don’t trust them, the daughter says I should, but I just can’t, not when the granddaughter played in the front yard, so, with a squint against the sun, I rocked and watched.
And one appeared. At the end of our road. Pause, hitch, shuffle, it danced, moved, down the middle, as if it listened to music none of us could hear.
I didn’t call the granddaughter. Let her play. She didn’t need to fear. I could hold the fear for both of us.
Pause, hitch, shuffle, the thing looked awful, too loose in the spine and yet stiff in the limbs, and it smiled, as if happy, but I knew better, even if the daughter didn’t believe me.
The thing paused, twenty feet from my fence, the granddaughter ran to the edge and stared, all pigtails and bounces, the thing moved towards her, hitch, shuffle, scrape, shuffle.
Cocked the gun, and out of breath, I rested my left hand on her left shoulder, while the gun’s eyes stared at it. It didn’t smell bad, aftershave and dried sweat. It had a smooth face, young, twenty or so, I knew it, from the store, a new hire.
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