Chapter 58: The Death of Bhoolmakar

General Flathootly, with his command of 10,000 fletyemings, who was ordered to pursue and capture the ex-king Bhoolmakar, returned to Calnogor after a month’s absence to report the death of King Bhoolmakar and Koshnili, together with several hundred of their followers, and the capture of several thousand wayleals as prisoners.

At a special interview with the general I requested him to report the story of his defeat of the king’s troops and the death of the king.

“Well, yer majesty,” said Flathootly, “Oi must first of all congratulate you on ascendin’ the throne of the inimy. It was the shmartest bit of work Oi’ve seen iver since Oi lift the other wurruld.”

“The troops behaved nobly,” I said, “but I am all anxiety to hear how you captured the king.”

“Well, thin, yer majesty, Oi kim up to him at a place called Gapthis, about 1,500 miles from here, away beyant on the wild say-shore.”

“Had he a large force with him?” I asked.

“Bedad an’ he had. He had a body-guard of about 5,000 wayleals, but shure, we made short work of the flyin’ sojers.”

“Well, tell me exactly what happened,” I said.

“Troth, an’ Oi will, yer majesty; shure our flyin’ sailors are darlin’ fellows! We skirmished up to the inimy until we got him between us an’ the say an’ thin we fell to. The bloody rascals tried to spear us, an’ did kill about a dozen or two of the bhoys, but we touched thim up lively wid our pitchforks, an’ begorra they didn’t loike that at all, at all.

“A wee red-faced captain called out that they were goin’ to fight for their king to the last. ‘How long are ye goin’ to last yerself, sonny?’ says Oi, an’ afore the words were out of me mouth somebody laid the wee fellow out as nate as a funeral. Well, we fell upon thim front an’ rear, as the sayin’ is, an’ be jabers, Oi killed a man wid the first blow.

“‘Walk right into thim!’ Oi shouted, an’ there we wor, fightin’ an’ slashin’ an’ killin’ wan another as if it wor a mere matther of business. If the king’s sojers flew up, why, we flew up too, an’ chased thim down ag’in. It was loike a pandemonium of fightin’ cocks.

“There was a big fellow who made a slash at me wid his sword, but Oi lifted him on me fork, an’ he very nicely showed me the whites of his eyes. The best part of the performance was ould Bhooly, who had himself in the middle of his body-guard, an’, waving a toy sword, asked his kind friends to kill us.

“Well, to make a long shtory short, the inimy being very badly beaten, threw up their arms, an’ we captured the entire lot, excipt about five hundred wayleals who flew away as fast as their heels cud carry thim.”

“How did the king conduct himself when captured?” I inquired.

“He came up to me, an’ bowin’ very nicely, offered me his sword. He said he was glad to surrender to a brave gineral an’ hoped Oi would give him the honors of war.

“‘Be jabers, Oi will that, ‘ said Oi; ‘but that’ll be afther we thry ye by coort-martial. But where’s Mrs. Bhooly?’ says Oi.

“‘Does your excellency mean her late majesty?’ said Bhooly; ‘if so, Oi regret to say the unhappy fate which has overtaken both myself and my counthry prostrated her so much that she died.’

“‘Well, thin, ‘ said Oi, ‘where’s that other conspirator, Koshnili?’

“‘Oi am here, your excellency, ‘ said he, steppin’ forward an’ handin’ me his sword, ‘an’ Oi also surrender.’

“‘You do well, ‘ said Oi, ‘to give up yer sword, for it saves me the throuble of takin’ it from you.

“‘An’ now, me rascals, ‘ Oi said, ‘we’re goin’ to save the throuble of lookin’ afther you by thryin’ you by coort-martial. Let the coort be formed, ‘ said Oi, ‘an’ bring forth the prisoners.’ The king’s sojers were disarmed, an’ their wings taken off, an’ were assimbled in a circle undher guard. Bhooly an’ Koshnili, undher a special guard, stood in the middle of the ring.