XXII: Ringamy's Convert

Mr. Johnson Ringamy, the author, sat in his library gazing idly out of the window. The view was very pleasant, and the early morning sun brought out in strong relief the fresh greenness of the trees that now had on their early spring suits of foliage. Mr. Ringamy had been a busy man, but now, if he cared to take life easy, he might do so, for few books had had the tremendous success of his latest work. Mr. Ringamy was thinking about this, when the door opened, and a tall, intellectual-looking young man entered from the study that communicated with the library. He placed on the table the bunch of letters he had in his hand, and, drawing up a chair, opened a blank notebook that had, between the leaves, a lead pencil sharpened at both ends.

“Good morning, Mr. Scriver,” said the author, also hitching up his chair towards the table. He sighed as he did so, for the fair spring prospect from the library window was much more attractive than the task of answering an extensive correspondence.

“Is there a large mail this morning, Scriver?”

“A good-sized one, sir. Many of them, however, are notes asking for your autograph.”

“Enclose stamps, do they?”

“Most of them, sir; those that did not, I threw in the waste basket.”

“Quite right. And as to the autographs you might write them this afternoon, if you have time.”

“I have already done so, sir. I flatter myself that even your most intimate friend could not tell my version of your autograph from your own.”

As he said this, the young man shoved towards the author a letter which he had written, and Mr. Ringamy looked at it critically.

“Very good, Scriver, very good indeed. In fact, if I were put in the witness-box I am not sure that I would be able to swear that this was not my signature. What’s this you have said in the body of the letter about sentiment? Not making me write anything sentimental, I hope. Be careful, my boy, I don’t want the newspapers to get hold of anything that they could turn into ridicule. They are too apt to do that sort of thing if they get half a chance.”

“Oh, I think you will find that all right,” said the young man; “still I thought it best to submit it to you before sending it off. You see the lady who writes has been getting up a ‘Ringamy Club’ in Kalamazoo, and she asks you to give her an autographic sentiment which they will cherish as the motto of the club. So I wrote the sentence, ‘All classes of labor should have equal compensation.’ If that won’t do, I can easily change it.’

“Oh, that will do first rate--first rate.”

“Of course it is awful rot, but I thought it would please the feminine mind.”

“Awful what did you say, Mr. Scriver?”

“Well, slush--if that expresses it better. Of course, you don’t believe any such nonsense.”

Mr. Johnson Ringamy frowned as he looked at his secretary.

“I don’t think I understand you,” he said, at last.

“Well, look here, Mr. Ringamy, speaking now, not as a paid servant to his master, but--”

“Now, Scriver, I won’t have any talk like that. There is no master or servant idea between us. There oughtn’t to be between anybody. All men are free and equal.”

“They are in theory, and in my eye, as I might say if I wanted to make it more expressive.”

“Scriver, I cannot congratulate you on your expressive language, if I may call it so. But we are wandering from the argument. You were going to say that speaking as--Well, go on.”

“I was going to say that, speaking as one reasonably sensible man to another, without any gammon about it; don’t you think it is rank nonsense to hold that one class of labor should be as well compensated as another. Honestly now?”

The author sat back in his chair and gazed across the table at his secretary. Finally, he said:

“My dear Scriver, you can’t really mean what you say. You know that I hold that all classes of labor should have exactly the same compensation. The miner, the blacksmith, the preacher, the postal clerk, the author, the publisher, the printer--yes, the man who sweeps out the office, or who polishes boots, should each share alike, if this world were what it should be--yes, and what it will be. Why, Scriver, you surely couldn’t have read my book--”

“Read it? why, hang it, I wrote it.”

“You wrote it? The deuce you did! I always thought I was the author of --”

“So you are. But didn’t I take it all down in shorthand, and didn’t I whack it out on the type-writer, and didn’t I go over the proof sheets with you. And yet you ask me if I have read it!”