IV: The Metamorphoses of Johnson

I was staying for some weeks at a lovely town in the Tyrol which I shall take the liberty of naming Schwindleburg. I conceal its real title because it charges what is termed a visitors’ tax, and a heavy visitors’ tax, exacting the same from me through the medium of my hotel bill. The town also made me pay for the excellent band that performs morning and afternoon in the Kurpark. Many continental health resorts support themselves by placing a tax upon visitors, a practice resorted to by no English town, and so I regard the imposition as a swindle, and I refuse to advertise any place that practises it. It is true that if you stay in Schwindleburg less than a week they do not tax you, but I didn’t know that, and the hotel man, being wise in his own generation, did not present his bill until a day after the week was out, so I found myself in for the visitors’ tax and the music money before I was aware of it. Thus does a foolish person accumulate wisdom by foreign travel. I stayed on at this picturesque place, listening to the band every day, trying to get value for my money. I intended to keep much to myself, having work to do, and make no acquaintances, but I fell under the fascination of Johnson, thus breaking my rule. What is the use of making a rule if you can’t have the pleasure of breaking it?

I think the thing that first attracted me to Johnson was his utter negligence in the matter of his personal appearance. When he stepped down from the hotel ‘bus he looked like a semi-respectable tramp. He wore a blue woolen shirt, with no collar or necktie. He had a slouch hat, without the usual affectation of a Tyrolese feather in it. His full beard had evidently not been trimmed for weeks, and he had one trouser-leg turned up. He had no alpenstock, and that also was a merit. So I said to myself, “Here is a man free from the conventionalities of society. If I become acquainted with anybody it will be with him.”

I found Johnson was an American from a Western city named Chicago, which I had heard of, and we “palled on.” He was very fond of music, and the band in the Kurpark was a good one, so we went there together twice a day, and talked as we walked up and down the gravel paths. He had been everywhere, and knew his way about; his conversation was interesting. In about a week I had come to love Johnson, and I think he rather liked me.

One day, as we returned together to the Hotel Post, he held out his hand.

“I’m off to-morrow,” he said; “off to Innsbruck. So I shall bid you good-bye. I am very glad indeed to have met you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” I replied. “But I won’t say good-bye now, I’ll see you to the station to-morrow.”

“No, don’t do that. I shall be away before you are up. We’ll say good- bye here.”

We did, and when I had breakfast next morning I found Johnson had left by the early train. I wandered around the park that forenoon mourning for Johnson. The place seemed lonely without him. In the afternoon I explored some of the by-paths of the park within hearing distance of the band, when suddenly, to my intense surprise, I met my departed friend.

“Hello! Johnson,” I cried, “I thought you left this morning.”

The man looked at me with no recognition in his face.

“I beg your pardon,” he said, “my name is Baumgarten.”

Looking more closely at him I at once saw I was mistaken. I had been thinking of Johnson at the time, which probably accounted for the error. Still, his likeness to Johnson was remarkable--to Johnson well groomed. He had neatly-trimmed side-whiskers and moustache, while Johnson had a full beard. His round hat was new, and he wore an irreproachable collar, and even cuffs. Besides this he sported a cane, and evidently possessed many weaknesses to which Johnson was superior. I apologized for my mistake, and was about to walk on when Baumgarten showed signs of wishing to become acquainted.

“I have just arrived,” he said, “and know nothing of the place. Have you been here long?”

“About two weeks,” I answered.

“Ah! then, you are a resident as it were. Are there any good ascents to be made around here?”

“I have not been informed that there are. I am not a climber myself, except by funicular railway. I am always content to take other people’s figures for the heights. The only use I have for a mountain is to look at it.”

Then Baumgarten launched into a very interesting account of mountain dangers he had passed through. I found him a most entertaining talker, almost as fascinating as Johnson himself. He told me he was from Hanover, but he had been educated in Great Britain, which accounted for his perfect English.

“What hotel are you at?” he asked, as the band ceased playing.

“I am staying at the Post,” I answered. “And you?”

“I am at the Adler. You must come to dine with me some evening, and I will make it even by dining with you. We can thus compare table d’hôtes.”

Baumgarten improved on acquaintance in spite of his foppishness in dress. I almost forgot Johnson until one day I was reminded of him one day by Baumgarten saying, “I leave to-night for Innsbruck.”

“Innsbruck? Why, that’s where Johnson is. You ought to meet him. He’s an awfully good fellow. A little careless about his clothes, that’s all.”

“I should like to meet him. I know no one in Innsbruck. Do you happen to know the name of his hotel?”

“I do not. I don’t even know Johnson’s first name. But I’ll write you a note of introduction on my card, and if you should come across him, give him my regards.”

Baumgarten accepted the card with thanks, and we parted.

Next day, being warm, I sat on a bench in the shade listening to the music. Now that Baumgarten had gone, I was meditating on his strange resemblance to Johnson, and remembering things. Someone sat down beside me, but I paid no attention to him. Finally he said: “This seems to be a very good band.”

I started at the sound of his voice, and looked at him too much astonished to reply.

He wore a moustache, but no whiskers, and a green Tyrolese felt hat with a feather in it. An alpenstock leaned against the bench beside him, its iron point in the gravel. He wore knickerbockers; in fact, his whole appearance was that of the conventional mountaineer-tourist. But the voice! And the expression of the eyes!