16: Theorizing, Testing and a Few Conclusions

“I’m still pissed you’d send us off to do common chores when you’re revealing new information about your abilities!” Becky complained once again as they drove to Sacramento for their next concert. “Cate would never let you get away with that.”

“Yeah, especially since it’s such a short drive,” Melinda added. “You should have just told us to ignore packing.”

“Then I guess you shouldn’t have lectured him to pick up his stuff,” Gini cut them off, tired of them beating this particular dead horse again. “Cate had her priorities straight. If it was a difference between getting a good night’s sleep and expanding their knowledge, she’d have brought Alex coffee all night.”

“Still, Cate’s never going to forgive us for this,” Becky said.

“Hey, I told you what we concluded,” Alex said, tired of defending himself.

“Ha! You gave us the Reader’s Digest Condensed version,” Becky argued. “We had to get the full details from Patricia’s girls. Your Seers were memorizing it as you spoke. They were quoting you verbatim on the spot.”

“They relay the words telepathically, assigning whoever is near a computer to record the conversation while the others either transmit it down the line in a round-robin or prepare questions,” Alex explained, having only learned of it recently. “They’ve got quite an extensive system set up. But at least you heard the details.”

“But we heard the details despite the two of you,” Melinda corrected him. “If it were up to you, we still wouldn’t know what you discovered and how it expands our understanding of what’s happening.”

“Give it a rest, girls,” Gini insisted. “It was a spontaneous decision and I was trying to keep you from putting a kibosh on the entire discussion. Alex didn’t tell you because he was wrestling with the concepts. But Anh warned me to watch for an opportunity for Alex to resolve his conflict. The two of you bitching over who was going to clean up the room seemed pretty trivial.”

“Well, focusing on what we still don’t know; how the heck did you realize you could spontaneously boost someone?” Becky asked. “That’s the first time you ever knew right away about a substantial new ability.”

“No, I suspected I could create a portal between someone’s brain and the near absolute zero of outer space for a long time, but I’d never had an opportunity to test the theory until that incident in San Diego,” Alex explained. “In this case, it wasn’t so much knowing about a new ability as it was recalling what I’d previously done.”

“So it was part of your recovered memories?” Melinda asked.

“I hate that term, since it’s been disproven,” Alex countered. “Each of the cases where someone claimed to have recovered someone’s memories it turned out they were planting suggestions and then convincing someone their version of events was correct. That’s why I didn’t reveal the details until I was sure they made sense.”

“Still, that’s what we’re talking about, isn’t it?” Becky pressed.

“I’m not sure what the process is since I’ve never heard of anyone recalling previous lives. Any reliable reports, that is. I became aware of just a portion of what the process entails. My guess is everyone’s idea of spirits feeding me information and helping me along is true, and someone, or something, is circumventing the normal limits on memories.”

“That doesn’t help at all,” Becky replied. “It fact, it creates more questions than it answers. It’s better if we just assume it’s unknowable where you got the memories.”

“I don’t know,” Melinda said. “You science types may not like it, but for those of us who think it’s God directing Alex’s actions, it makes perfect sense.”

“Hey, don’t forget you’re one of us ‘science types’ now, but I take your point,” Becky answered. “But summarizing, essentially we have no new information on how anything other than heaven and hell work?”

“Yep, that about summarizes it,” Alex replied. “It was a purely theological issue, a simple instruction manual on how to get to heaven.”

“Hold on a minute,” Becky warned. “It may not be quite so simple. If you consider it, you remembered doing it before. That means you’ve done each of these steps previously, either here or on some other world—or both. That puts the whole topic of ‘spirits’ in a whole new light.”

“You know, you have a point,” Alex said, considering the implications. “Maybe the spirits leading me have been my own memories. While my mind wasn’t ready to deal with the conflicts before I understood what was involved, they were influencing where I was going?”

“Oh great, now you’ve gotten him back on his ‘There is no God’ theme.” Melinda complained.

“Look, let’s get off this ‘abuse Alex’ theme, as I’ve got my own question about the discussion last night,” Gini said, frustrated at the girls’ continued attacks on Alex.

“Yeah, what’s that?” Alex asked, glad to escape it as well.

“We’ve talked before about what I did in the military and its effect on my psyche. You also said you forgave me for what I’d done and I shouldn’t feel bad about killing that one boy,” she said, referring to her revelation to Alex about killing a young Afghan lad who’d been trying to kill members of her unit. “But how does what you discovered last night change that? Does it mean I’ve got a shot at heaven, or does the morality clause mean I’m permanently locked out?”

“Personally, I don’t think you have to worry about it. From what Anh’s always said, I somehow managed to bring everyone close to me in the other dimension over with me, so you’ve already made the transition and should be better equipped to do it again.”

“Maybe,” Gini complained, “but that theory doesn’t really hold up if you examine it. It makes sense you and Cate came over together since you were only born a couple years apart, and maybe Kitty and Chalise as well. But I was born a whole decade earlier than you. How do you explain my having crossed over before you did it yourself?”

“It may be the crossing isn’t constrained by the normal rules of time,” Becky suggested, already realizing it was a weak argument.

“That may be,” Gini countered, “but like you said, it makes the explanation more complicated than the initial problem, so it’s preferable to not believe it.”

“Well, the whole discussion is what’s required to allow someone to handle the transition between worlds mentally,” Alex explained. “So it’s a matter of emotional baggage. When people think they’re guaranteed a position in heaven, they aren’t willing to fight hard enough to get there. The problem isn’t having killed someone, it’s when someone overreaches and tries to justify their position. I think we all know people who don’t simply accept what they did in battle was necessary, but take actual pride in having killed dozens of people, bragging about it to anyone who will listen. Like the sniper who declares his combat role on his bumper sticker or the army general who says he’s not sorry for a single decision he made, despite being personally responsible for the deaths for tens of thousands of people.

“It’s when you don’t question what you’ve done that you’d encounter problems. Jesus stressed you have to ask forgiveness for ALL your sins. When he said you can only reach heaven through him, he meant you had to search for forgiveness. As long as you’re always questioning your choices, you should be mentally prepared for the transition. It’s the people who remove self-doubt from the equation, who never question what they do or who aren’t curious about what comes next, who condemn themselves. Those who don’t push themselves and are comfortable with where they are in their spiritual development have the greatest problem. The fact you’re asking whether your experiences were right or not shows you haven’t reached that stage.”

“Then only those people who can’t forgive themselves are allowed into heaven?” Melinda asked, not sure she understood Alex’s point.

“No, there’s nothing that says you can’t accept what you had to do. If someone attacks you, and you’re forced to defend either yourself or someone you love, that isn’t the issue. The point is killing someone takes away any chance they might change their minds and reform their lives. And when you feel no remorse for what you’ve done, then you’ve sealed off a portion of your humanity; a vital component of what’s required after you’ve died.”

“That would also apply to anyone who obsesses about the guilt,” Becky added, catching onto the concept. “If you were unable to get over that one incident, you may feel you didn’t deserve to move on, and thus wouldn’t be able to. That might have been the case before you met Alex, but now your mind is clear and you’re curious about the entire process. As Alex says, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

“That’s pretty heady stuff,” Gini admitted. “But the bottom line is, there’s absolutely no knowing if you have what it takes to cross over until you already have, and then you won’t remember what it was which allowed you to cross over in the first place. So crossing over once is no guarantee you’ll be able to do it again.”

“Hmm, that is a troublesome point,” Alex said, biting his lip and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he considered it. “Frankly, I don’t know enough about it myself to say exactly what’s required. I have strong impressions about what works but no specific information about what exactly will hurt your chances and what won’t. So like everyone else, I’m not sure whether I’ll make the transition. But again, it’s the doubt, mixed with the curiosity and hunger to see the other side which provides the impetus needed to make the leap.”

“So are you saying I should still worry about what I’ve done, or that I can safely put it behind me?” Gini asked.

“I’m sure you can put it behind you. You know what you did wrong and you’re sorry you had to do it. You haven’t convinced yourself that killing someone was an ideal decision. You did what you had to do because you had no choice. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it’s one you can live with. I’m talking about anchors on your soul when it needs to launch from this world. You don’t have to chastise yourself to throw off your anchors, you just have to avoid taking the easy route in your moral decisions.”

“Well, I’m no more sure whether I’ll be able to cross back over with you, or even if I do whether we’d end up in the same place or not, but at least I know I don’t have to keep questioning all my mistakes. That’s something, at least,” Gini concluded.

“And the two of you heard it here, first,” Alex told his sisters. “Quick, grab your smartphones and tell everyone what I revealed,” he added with a wide grin.

“Too late, I’ve already spread the news, and it’s being dispersed as we speak,” Gini answered with a wicked laugh.

“Well, at least we can lord it over Cate,” Becky said with a grin, grabbing her phone and pressing Cate’s number.

“So, Alex,” Becky asked entering their hotel room in Sacramento, dropping her suitcase on the floor and tossing her purse on the bed, “I’ve been thinking about this whole thing. I’ve been trying to keep my tongue, since it’s mostly theoretical, but your ideas on heaven and hell have a lot that relates very specifically to our new laws of physics and has implications concerning your abilities.”

“Yeah?” Alex asked, arching his eyebrow, knowing perfectly well she was getting ready to hit him with something heavy. Melinda merely groaned, flopped down on the bed and looked up at the two of them, getting ready for another long discussion. Gini ignored them, checking the lock, the phone and the window to make sure the room was secure and uncompromised.

“Since your ideas of heaven and hell involved traveling to another dimension, does that mean you have or haven’t changed you mind?”

“Pardon?” he asked, not sure of her point.

“I mean, have you decided you believe in the soul, those inhabiting a hidden land of spirits, or is this a purely physical world we’re talking about?”

“Actually, I answered that last night, but of course you weren’t there at the time,” Alex replied with a smile. He sat down in an easy chair, kicking his shoes off and putting his feet up on the bed, getting ready for an extended discussion. “The soul, as much as I can determine, only exists for a very short time. I’m really not sure how long since it has no perception of time, but I’m convinced the whole process happens rapidly. But I’m convinced there’s no such thing as an independent soul floating through space.”

“OK then,” Becky responded, leaning back against the desk facing him, “kindly explain how this soul comes into existence and how it allows someone’s personality to jump from one being into another.”

“I think what she’s asking,” Melinda tried to clarified as she stood and went to their cooler, grabbing a couple of chilled sodas for each of them, “is she’s interested in the physics involved, and whether she can either learn something about it, or apply it to what you’re doing.”

“Well, duh!” Becky responded, rolling her eyes. “Of course that’s what I’m interested in. Now how about it? What’s the deal?”

“Well, as we’ve always said, what we think of as the soul is simply a particular flavor of the energy which enables life, somone’s BCM. It’s what the Seers see, where people’s personality colors it and their emotions flavor it, so if someone suffers grief, or is angry all the time, it’ll slowly poison their soul.”

Becky nodded, encouraging him to continue, so he did. “Well, at the moment of death, before it has a chance to actually die itself, it has the opportunity to make a jump to another dimension, by much the same process I create links to another dimension to garner my abilities.”

“Do you think that’s how you came here, or did you find a different technique?” Gini asked, her curiosity overcoming her reluctance to get into these complicated discussions.

“Again, I’m not sure, but I suspect it was more complicated than that. If it was simply duplicating something which happens all the time, I wouldn’t need a whole new power source. But I suspect my previous self found a way to open these portals, accessed the energy I use to gain my abilities, and used that to make a jump without having to wait for death to come. I’d also guess taking that approach made it less of a hit-or-miss proposition.”

“OK, that’s very nice,” Becky said, waving dismissively, “but let’s focus on specifics. You say you have no idea how long the process takes. What about the destination? Would you appear as a new-born baby? As another humanoid? As a giant bug? Do you have any idea what happens to you?”

“Well, as I explained earlier, it’s like a rebirth, a reincarnation. So the thing which makes up your basic personality makes the jump, leaving its memories behind as it does—like the rest of the flesh and blood cells it abandons—and makes the transition. I’m not sure exactly how it does it, whether it attaches to a new fetus or if there’s another process, but you’d be reborn as a whole new entity. Although you’d be completely nonhuman.”

“OK, that answers that, I guess. What else can you figure out? Does the soul here figure out where it’s best to jump to? Does it pick out an empty being? Does it just know how to jump to an existing one, or maybe there’s a giant waiting queue somewhere? Possibly something like your quantum brain which your own mind is attached to, something that can feed these ‘souls’, allowing them to wait until they can then jump to a new body?”

Alex simply shrugged his shoulders, indicating he didn’t know.

“It would make sense, at least it’s plausible,” Melinda suggested, chewing her knuckle as she considered it.

“As Cate would say, your explanation raises more questions than it answers,” Gini said. “It may be plausible, but it doesn’t sound likely. I think it’s simpler than that; more likely a simple jump. As much of a crapshoot as it is, maybe you can only make the jump if there’s already a body available for you to jump to.”

“Still, the waiting room makes a certain sense,” Becky suggested. “That may be why Alex’s cohorts are all different ages. They may have had to wait for available but unclaimed human fetuses, so it took time to find one, at least one near enough to help him in this life.”

“Now that makes more sense,” Melinda agreed. “Especially if we assume everyone following Alex was waiting for the same destination.”

“OK, let’s assume that’s the case until we have a reason to question it,” Becky stated. “Now how does someone decide where to go?” When Alex took a deep breath, getting ready to begin his standard refrain, Becky cut him off. “I know you don’t know the specifics, but see if you can get any ‘feelings’ about what seems true. That appears to be how these new memories work, so you need to examine your feelings and see if you can milk them for additional information.”

“Hmm,” Alex said, considering that as he examined his feelings on the matter.

“That’s probably what Anh was saying about ‘trusting your feelings’,” Melinda suggested. “She somehow knew that’s how this process worked.”

“She must have been my spiritual adviser in the other world as well, and since that’s part of her basic personality, her ability to feel and trust her emotions carried over with her,” Alex surmised. “Thus she was able to feel it in the souls she felt around her whenever someone died.”

“That’s as good a theory as any,” Melinda offered.

“OK, so can you surmise anything else on the subject, Alex?” Becky pressed.

“I’m rolling your options over in my head, and right now, I’m thinking it’s the same process I used when I created the first link. I simply followed the strongest energy signal I could find. So it would be tied to either an ability to sense the BCM energy, or there’s some sort of communication involved.”

“It couldn’t be that simple,” Becky argued. “Otherwise everyone who died would jump to the same place, and no new babies would ever find a new soul. They’d all end up stillborn.”

“That would imply there’s some sort of communication between the new entity—the new babies—and the old souls preparing to die,” Melinda concluded.

“Ah, good, now we’re onto something,” Becky said, smiling as if she’d just won Cate’s vaunted imaginary Nobel prize. “If there’s some communication between specific entities, eggs calling to spare souls, then if we can tap into that, we’d know how to follow them. Tracking where other worlds were, or maybe allowing us to communicate with other beings surrounding the new one.”

“That’s making a lot of assumptions,” Alex warned.

“It’s still our best way of learning more about this,” Becky replied. “If we have to wait to discover it ourselves, we’ll never know because as soon as we learn, we’ll automatically forget it.”

“It makes sense, Alex,” Melinda suggested. “Check your intuition and see if it’s true or not.”

Alex grew silent, searching his feelings trying to pick out what was real and what wasn’t.

“Hold on, Alex. I may be able to help,” Gini said, approaching him, reaching out and examining his head.

“What are you looking for?” Alex asked, glancing up at her nervously.

“As you’re evaluating one option after another, I can see some very specific lights flickering in response,” she explained. “We may be able to do this more scientifically than Becky is suggesting. If we can associate the specific lights, the specific colors, with correct or false assumptions, we could identify which options are correct and which aren’t. Maybe even which ones you can’t hope to answer to prevent you from guessing incorrectly.”

“Quick, Alex, call the other gir—,” Becky suggested.

“Already done,” Alex assured her. “Patricia and Hannah are on their way over. Patricia is excited about the possibilities so they’re hurrying. She says they should be here soon. They’re phoning Winona on their way since she’ll be busy for a while.”

“I hope that won’t hurt their preparations,” Gini said.

“Screw that,” Melinda replied. “This is important.”

“OK, it’s going to take some time before they arrive,” Becky said, preparing to make some point, but Alex didn’t let her get to it.

“No, they’re here in the hotel. Winona is going over dance moves with the other singers and the girls were just sitting around talking. They’d wandered into the hall to get away from the dancers, so they’re on their way here even as we—” Alex’s explanation was interrupted by a knocking on the door. Gini grunted, getting up to get it.

“Do I even need to look?” she asked, glancing back at Alex. He shook his head, so she opened the door revealing the two women. Patricia pushed her aside as she ran in, her excitement about their experiment apparent.

“This is major, Alex! What should we do?”

“That’s what we were trying to tell him,” Melinda commented.

“Think about those options again, Alex,” Gini instructed, coming up behind Patricia. “Becky asked him to once again trust his intuition while he considers different options, the assumption being he’d know which option was correct, when I noticed these lights, right here, here and here started flickering. They’re faint, but they’re fairly distinctive.”

“What’s he evaluating?” Hannah asked.

“He’s testing if new bodies communicate with dying souls to alert them where to find them,” Melinda explained.

“Wait, I thought you couldn’t see if someone was telling the truth or not?” Melinda asked, suddenly unsure about the procedure.

“That’s right,” Gini answered. “But this is different. Apparently Alex is using a different part of his brain to access those lost memories. Either he’s stored the repressed memories somewhere specific, or he’s accessing the information using a particular process, but they occur in very specific areas of the brain.”

“Hmm,” Becky said, thinking. “Unfortunately, I’m not much into the brain’s physiology, having concentrated on genetics and physics.”

“We could always ask Liv,” Alex suggested.

Patricia waved that concern away. “We can get to that later. We’ll remember the location, but knowing what region is active won’t change the results. Let’s get to the bottom of this while the iron is still steaming!”

“Be specific,” Becky advised. “Alex, what’s the actual question you’re considering?”

“I’m evaluating if it’s actually communication, and if it is, whether it’s from—”

“Slow down,” Patricia told him. “Think about each one and then tell us what it is you’re considering.”

“OK, whether it’s communication or not,” Alex said.

“Alright, go on,” Patricia said, waving to him distractedly as she tried to examine him. “We really need a steel door to block his aura. It’s like staring into the sun trying to make out a solar flare.”