Chapter IX: The Realization of a Hopeless Love

I opened my eyes--it was broad daylight, and for some moments I lay dreamily surveying the familiar objects in my room, unconscious of all that had happened to me during the previous night. Then, noticing that I was fully dressed, a sudden realization of it all came upon me, and, springing to my feet, I excitedly paced up and down my room, pinching my arms and legs to make sure that they were in normal condition. Satisfying myself upon this point, I then looked at the time, and, to my astonishment, found that it was noon.

As Mars passed out of wave contact about one o’clock in the morning, I must have slept eleven hours after the return of my spirit to Earth. I had greatly feared that even if it were my good fortune ever to regain consciousness, it would be only to discover that I had lost the use of my limbs and was powerless to move. That the super-radium current would preserve my body in such a natural condition as even to induce sleep I would not have believed possible. Yet there was every indication that I had awakened from a natural sleep. I felt fresh and full of vigor, and there on my couch lay the cone which, in my sleep, I had unfastened and, in turning over, crushed. If I had remained unconscious the entire time there would not have been this evidence of restlessness, and I considered it of importance as being proof that my sleep had been natural. Beyond this, however, I did not consider the removal of the cone from my face as important, as the chloroform must have completely evaporated soon after I became unconscious.

Now that I was once again in my laboratory with the humdrum life of a matter-of-fact world surging about me, evincing itself by the continual roar of traffic which reached me through the open window, my remarkable adventure of the night before seemed like a strange dream. As there was no tangible proof that I had actually been on Mars, I might have been led to the conclusion that I had chloroformed myself into unconsciousness only, and had passed from this state into a deep sleep, in which I had dreamed my remarkable experiences. But the clearness and consistency of every detail were amply sufficient to convince me of the genuineness of my experiences on Mars, and that the characters, so vividly portrayed in my mind, lived in flesh and blood on a world millions of miles away. Much more convincing than this, however, was the moral obligation that I felt incumbent upon me--a duty I owed to another. No dream could have left me with this keen sense of responsibility.

Alas, I knew only too well that I loved, with an impossible love, a beautiful being of another planet, and that my duty lay in the renunciation of this love to Almos, its rightful possessor.

Thus my discovery had not brought me the joy of triumph. The proud moments in an inventor’s career when he holds up to the world the fruit of his ingenuity and study could not be mine. Indeed, the thought of the excitement that the news of such easy communication with Mars would cause, if I demonstrated its truth before reputable scientists, made me determined to guard the secret of my discovery the more jealously. Hundreds of instruments similar to mine would be made, and it would soon become known to all the inhabitants of Mars that they could talk to the people of Earth, resulting in constant communication from all parts of both planets. Such an innovation would soon be a regular pastime of the rich. It would then be impossible for me to visit Mars again, as the crossing of the currents of super-radium would add a grave danger to such an undertaking.

The possibility of my secret becoming known through an accident (someone breaking into my room or overhearing me talk with Almos) now occurred to me, and, in the fear of my being separated from Zarlah forever, I determined upon another visit to Mars that evening.

I had planned to tell Almos at once of my thoughtless confession of love to Zarlah, but in an effort to justify my great desire to see her again, I now saw several important reasons for postponing this. I had given my promise to Zarlah to be with her the following evening, and it seemed only honorable for me first to fulfil my promise to her. Moreover, under the circumstances, it might be embarrassing for Almos to meet her upon such short notice. When a man takes a step of this kind, he usually has spent some time in consideration beforehand, how much more necessary, then, is time for consideration when this step has been taken for him. I therefore decided to keep my promise to Zarlah and to endeavor to visit Mars again during the next wave contact.

I did not regret having left the note for Almos, however, as I had no means of telling whether the mechanism of the virator had done what was expected of it, or not. Almos’ life depended upon the accurate working of this mechanism after I had gone, and I was anxious to learn of his safety. He would also want to learn of my safe arrival before preparing himself for another undertaking of the kind; to see each other was therefore necessary. Almos would undoubtedly have warned me of this, had not the cessation of wave contact prevented him from giving me instructions.

It was late in the afternoon when a feeling of intense hunger reminded me that I had not tasted food for twenty-four hours. I contented myself, however, with a light meal at a neighboring cafe, knowing the danger of eating heavily at this time. To my great surprise, I found that this small amount of food was evidently all my system required. Not only was my hunger appeased, but, while returning to my rooms, I was conscious of a strength and vigor which were entirely new to me, and which I now remembered I had first experienced upon awakening. Could it be that the super-radium current, possessing the wonderful regenerating rays that had brought perpetual life to the people of Mars, was gradually working this change in my body over a distance of millions of miles? Impossible as this seemed there was no other way of accounting for the remarkable change which had taken place in my body.

The intense excitement I experienced at the thought of possessing perpetual life, health, and youth was but momentary, and I reached my laboratory with a full realization of the enormous responsibilities which my discovery was placing upon me. I could no longer keep it secret; each day that I withheld the knowledge of these rays from my fellow beings, hundreds, nay thousands, of lives would be laid to my account. The knowledge had not been given to me that I should guard it selfishly. The hope that, even though I could never call Zarlah my own, I might often spend a few happy hours with her in her Martian paradise was now shattered forever. I must stifle my love or commit a crime against every living soul on Earth; and as I paced my room in agony, with my hands pressed to my temples to ease their throbbing, a great cry of anguish from the multitude in Death’s grasp rang through my brain. My heart was torn asunder by two great conflicting emotions, Love and Duty, and in this torture of mind and body I moved restlessly back and forth in my room, until the fading light warned me of the near approach of wave contact with Mars.

There was but one course open to me; I would tell Almos of my experience with the rays, and if he should decide that they were the same as the regenerating rays, possessing all their properties, and that continual life was now within reach of the people on Earth, I would make my discovery public on the morrow. This would be my solemn duty, no matter what sacrifice it involved, and I could not help feeling that this second visit to Mars might be the last.