Chapter 11

“The Great Owl cannot learn to fly without first learning to fall.”

Crying Shadow’s teachings of the Great Owl

Translated by Erik Livingtree

Obstacles

1

Whitney connected with Kat first thing Wednesday morning. They got up, ate breakfast, and headed for the obstacle course where everyone in the camp was gathering. They hoped for an ordinary day. Obstacle course ordinary if nothing else, but the day was going to be anything but.

Tommy wasn’tas happy about her figuring out how to connect with someone else as she expected. She explained everything to him the night before and she thought he’d be excited and relieved. She thought some of the burden he felt would be lifted. It was, but she could tell he was burying his feelings about that.

The course itself was more than Whitney expected when they got there. The most obvious element was the huge climbing wall in the center of the open ring. Kat craned her neck just to let Whitney soak it in, but everything about the course made her feel tiny. Every log, every ladder, and every rope, was lashed and tied to monstrously tall obstacles. According to the brochure Tommy received in the mail, every one of them was designed to build a person’s confidence and to give them the courage to face the challenges that they would face in their everyday lives.

People climb that thing? Whitney asked Kat as they eyed the rock-climbing wall.

To the top, without a hop! Kat thought back.

The younger camper standing in front of the wall was having the same thoughts about it that Whitney was. He stood before it with his head tilted skyward. It was as if he were picturing himself making the attempt for himself, and Whitney had the impression that he wasn’t feeling up to it. It was the way his shoulders were slumped with no smile on his face as he peered upward. He was leaning on a cane while he looked at it, adding more doubt about whether he was up to the task.

“You ready for it, Mike?” Kat asked him. Mike turned and looked at her for a second. Then his head turned back toward the wall as he considered Kat’s question. He finally made up his mind and walked up to the two of them. “Maybe next year,” he said.

“Awe,” Kat said. “Your flight is the one we all want to see, Mikey. You are the eagle this year. Fly for us ... please?”

“Yeah I know. And I’ve busted my rump getting ready to do just that, but,” he said as he looked down toward his legs and his cane. “I’m looking at that wall and I know how easily my legs still tire out. I’m not afraid or anything ... It’s just that I don’t think my legs will last long enough.”

“A promise of a cheek peck from yours truly,” Kat said placing a hand on his shoulder. “Would that motivate you?”

“Well, I uh ... sure,” he said. His face turned three shades of pink, and he quickly turned around and headed off.

The rock-climbing tower was the most obvious of all of the elements; my favorite is the zip line! Kat thought to her. It’s so much fun. You climb up that pole there, clip on and ... ZOOOM!

Whitney couldn’t help but to feel a little envious. The obstacle was definitely intimidating. The climb she was referring to was a thick telephone like pole buried deep but extended at least thirty feet into the air. It had thick metal pegs coming out of each side of it for hand and footholds. She could see that it had safety lines running parallel to the zip line for an extra measure of safety but, safety lines or not, it still looked terrifying.

Whitney wished she could see for herself if being that scared could actually be fun.

“Then there’s the confidence pole, which Erik always starts off by jumping from!”

Jumping from? Whitney thought to herself. The idea sounded crazy.

“The cat walk,” Kat continued pointing off to her left. “Safety lines never settle my nerves here. The team builders are hunky dunky. The most you do there is fall backward a few feet, but this side of the course makes my stomach scream.”

“Why do you keep doing that?” a skinny girl Whitney didn’t recognize asked. She was standing about ten feet away and looking at Kat. As soon as Kat looked at her, Kat identified her as a girl named Cee Cee. Her real name was Carmen Calandrino, but everyone called her Cee Cee for short. She was very tall, very skinny, and very Italian.

“Doing what?” Kat frowned.

“Talking to that freak? She’s so weird.”

“You’re calling her the freak,” Kat defended.

“She is! You saw her eyes the other night! She’s a damn monster! She’s probably friends with IT!”

“She’s not a freak! She’s not a monster! And she’s certainly not friends with IT! You’re being ridiculous Cee Cee!” Kat exclaimed.

“I’m not the only one saying it! A lot of people think that!”

“Stupiciously ridiculoso,” Kat said. “She’s got nothing to do with IT. Little John’s legends? Can you say, started before we were born?”

“Well maybe she’s the reason IT woke up! Ya ever think of that?”

People were beginning to gather around the conversation, which was getting louder with every passing sentence and heads were following between them. The attention normally reserved for Erik’s opening performance on the confidence pole was now shifted to Kat and the tall skinny girl.

The crowd was getting thicker around them and as it grew, it became more evident that there were two groups. Those who believed the same as Cee Cee and those who didn’t.

“It can’t be a coincidence, Kat! A bunch of people were turned into zombies at the lake yesterday and their eyes were starting to fade out. Just like what happened in Little John’s stories! Maybe that’s how her eyes get silver! You ever think of that?”

There it was again—the accusation that she completely abandoned every sensible idea she spent her entire life protecting, and that she intentionally showed people the silver version of her eyes. What in God’s name had she been thinking and why in the world couldn’t she remember it. She had half a mind to drag Erik off of that pole and...

“ENOUGH!” Erik yelled from his perch atop the confidence pole.

Kat’s attention, along with everyone else’s was drawn to his majestic stance. It was readily apparent, with him standing on top of the pole as if it were a platform, why it was called the confidence pole. He stood there with his hands on his hips in an unwavering stance. He didn’t waver. He wasn’t afraid. He just stood there looking down at the group of campers with disdain in his eyes.

Kat told Whitney that he gave an opening speech every year to try and motivate the new campers. Many of them wanted to try the elements in the obstacle course and were excited about it, but there were also those terrified to go through with it. Whitney hoped that his speech was going to be especially good this year, because she had done an excellent job of adding division amongst the crowd. She still wanted to rip him offthe pole though for dosing her and her friends, though.

Erik waited for the crowd to settle. His piercing gaze had an unsettling effect on the group and they quickly quieted.

“For years my uncle has told our stories at the campfire that follows this event. You all know that much. What you don’ know is that I didn’t believe them any more than any of you did!”

He was right about that much. There was a murmur throughout the crowd and confused looks were passed around like a hot potato.

“I didn’t believe them because I was afraid to believe them!” he continued.

“Come on, Erik! You ain’t afraid of nothing! In a minute you’re going to jump off of that pole just to show us that we are always safe!”

“I WAS AFRAID!” he answered. “My courage comes from things I can see. Things I know and trust! I can see the ropes clipped to my harness. I know my spotters are constantly vigilant and I trust they are always ready because I train them to be ready! I pretended to believe my peoples’ stories because they are my family and my ancestors, but I didn’t want to really believe because of the vision I had during my keiguishimowin.

“But the stories are not just stories. I know that now and I have seen the Anisgina formyself.Most of you have seen the amicolola for yourselves. Yet you still doubt!”

“Let me get this straight!” Cee Cee hollered up to Erik.

His attention moved to her and focused there. Despite the distance, Whitney could see an interested eyebrow rise.

“Your uncle’s stories are actually true, and the same thing that happened to your ancestors is going to happen to us? Unless what? The blind and deaf girl can save us? Or her brother can what? Make a quarter spin in the air? That’s what you are talking about ... Right?” Cee Cee pointed out.

The division in the crowd seemed to become more defined as everyone shifted their stances and tightened their groupings. Her words hung in the air. Some believed them, but most did not. Whitney included. She wanted to walk over and stand with the disbelievers.

“That is what we are talking about ... Isn’t it?” she continued. “If the stories really are true shouldn’t we all just pack up and leave?”

“Nobody is leaving!” Mr. Margraves announced. He parted the crowd and stepped into the middle of the two groups. Everyone was so engrossed with what was happening that they hadn’t noticed him approach.They should have expected it because he was always present at the opening.

The momentum shifts went along with whoever was speaking at the time. First Erik’s way, then Cee Cee’s, but now Margraves had the floor.

“And what exactly do you mean by beginning before I get here, Mr. Living Tree? And why, may I ask, would you choose to instill panic into the campers instead of unity?”

“I...”

“Never mind ... Give the normal opener please!”

Erik nodded and cleared his throat.

“FEAR!” he began. “It’s not real!” which wasn’t the same way he began earlier, Whitney noted. “FEAR!” he continued, “is our thoughts creating barriers between ourselves and our goals. Today my fellow campers, we will look our fears directly in the face, and together—arm in arm—shoulder to shoulder—we will overcome our fears, and conquer the obstacles in this and in our circle!”

As soon as the last words left his mouth, he leaned forward and let himself fall. As soon as his feet left the top of the platform, his spotters did their jobs and increased the tension on the rope. His body slowed and drifted neatly to the ground.

“Good,” Mr. Margraves said. “Now I have to finish an annoying conversation with your uncle that I thought was resolved yesterday. Tell me, Erik, that we are still on the same page, and that I don’t have to worry about more talk of ghosts, goblins, or bad spirits from you while I’m gone!”

“No sir,” Erik said with a hung head.

2

Whitney moved over and sat on one of the benches along the side of the open ring. There was no point in her standing in line with the rest of them because she couldn’t participate.

Everyone else was fitting himself or herself with a harness so that when their time came they could snap into the safety line and go for broke on the element they were waiting for.

The overall mood of the crowd wasn’t the same as Kat had described it. Whitney was still connected to her. Kat secured herself into her harness, but Whitney’s attention was on everyone else and everything that happened.

Cee Cee made a good point. Whitneywas no match for whatever it was beneath the lake. She had no intention of ever trying to match forces with IT, but she could see by the occasional look in her direction that Erik, her brother, and even Kam, somehow expected her to.

It was maddening. Who was she really, when it came to a comparison to whatever lie beneath the surface of the lake? Whatever IT was had a power well beyond hers. Sure, she had a few abilities the others didn’t, but not the kind of abilities that could defeat any real God like monster.

Yet her brother and her friends weren’t the only ones with such a ridiculous belief. From time to time, there were other campers whose gaze shifted toward her. Each of them also had a look of expectation on their face, and even those that doubted weren’t completely convinced. They too, were looking at her with expectations despite their doubts.

Ridiculous.

Didn’t they get it? Any of them?

She had no intention on facing anything. She had never intended, tried, or wanted any of them to believe that she ever would! Most of all THEY NEEDED TO FIND ANOTHER SOLUTION!

No, Whitney, Kat thought to her. We need you.

You heard that? I wasn’t projecting to you so I didn’t think...

You are more than Snow White could ever be. At least you are to me.

But no more than you are to me. Don’t you get it? I’m not anything special. I can’t even hear or see and it’s as if everybody is starting to expect me to save the world or something. I CAN’T!

Not the world, silly! Just camp Tumbling Waters! Kat thought brightly.

It’s not funny, Kat! Whitney retorted and she pulled back into herself.

3

This was Kam’s favorite part of the whole week. He liked both the climbing wall and the zip line the best. Each of those elements had their own invigorating qualities and that wasn’t mentioning some of the others. Even the confidence pole was one heck of a thrill.

His only wish was that Whitney could see him through her own eyes. Every now and then, he’d glance her way and imagine the smile on her face as he conquered one of the obstacles, but every time his eyes met her face, the dark glasses she wore reminded him that her eyes couldn’t see anything and no smile was forthcoming.

“You ready for this, bro?” Kam said to Tommy.

“You bet!” Tommy replied.

There were six people in front of them in line. The next to go was Mike Murphy, but Kam could tell that Mike probably wouldn’t take this run. He was staring up at the top with wide eyes.

“Go for it, Mike! You got this!” Kam said.

Mike looked back over his shoulders at Kam, but there was no confidence there.

“Go on, Mike. Don’t think about it. Just grab one of the handholds and go. Take it one level at a time!” Kam added.

Mike looked at the little colored hand and footholds that were mounted into the wall. He reached up and grabbed one, put his foot on the other and added some weight. His foot slipped off and he backed away.

“Maybe I should let someone else go first. So I can watch how they do it!” he said. He unclipped himself from the safety line and backed away an additional step. His forehead was dripping with sweat and so was his shirt.

“Just take a few deep breaths, Mike. Don’t give up on the idea of tackling this one, okay!” Kam said.

Mike nodded, but he did so weakly.

Kam looked back toward the zip-line. Kat was still waiting in line. He tried to get her to stay with him and Tommy, but she was too eager to do the zip line first.

Just as he was about to turn his attention back to the wall she broke from the line and started heading over to where they were standing. She had a worried look on her face.

“Is she with you?” she asked Tommy.

Tommy shook his head no. “She told me last night she was going to ride with you all day.”

“I think I made her mad. I wasn’t trying to. I was just trying to encourage her. You know ... trying to let her know that we all believed in her, but she got mad and left.”

“Relax ... she does that all the time. She’ll come back when she’s ready and she won’t be mad. She probably won’t even get why you think she was.”

“Well, can you get her to come back now? Can you do that? She wanted to experience this stuff. I know that much, but now she won’t get to because of me. I feel horrible.”

“Unfortunately no. She’s as stubborn as a starving goat. She would eat a pair of shoes if she thought it would piss the right person off and...”

Everyone turned to see what stopped Tommy midsentence and made his eyes widen in curiosity.

“You sure she’s not with you?” Tommy asked.

“Positive,” Kat answered.

Whitney had gotten up from her bench and was walking toward them. She did look mad, but it was a determined sort of mad. Like she heard what Tommy said and decided to find a pair of shoes.

She wasn’t using her cane, her hands weren’t out in front of her, and her feet moved with swift confidence. Tommy couldn’t believe it. He heard the story of her walking from the picnic table to the supply table from the day before, but seeing her do it for himself was a completely different story. He knew she was capable of a lot, but he’d never seen her walk without his assistance anywhere but in the safety of their home.

She had gotten the attention of everyone at the obstacle course by the time she stopped in front of them. Silence covered the group of campers like a thick blanket. Even the simple act of walking can sometimes be an amazing feat worthy of everyone’s attention.

She opened her mouth as if she were about to say something—snapped it shut—and then turned toward the climbing wall.

She walked over to it and began to caress the contours of it, feeling along the rough terrain, soaking in the contours.

“Looks like someone decided to test their courage!” Erik said. Nobody realized his approach. He had a harness in his hands and he handed it to Kam.

“She can’t climb!” Tommy said as if the idea was preposterous.

“No?” Erik asked cocking his head slightly to the side. “Why not?”

“Well because...”

“She’s blind? Deaf? Not smart enough? Not strong enough? Incapable? She is blind and deaf, but she is none of the other things.”

Tommy hung his head slightly. Erik was right and he knew it. Hell, hadn’t he lectured Kam over the same concept the day before?

Kam went to Whitney, draped the harness over her shoulders and buckled her in. He snapped the safety line in place and stepped back.

Without hesitation, Whitney placed her hands and one of her feet onto the holds. She began to lift herself up, but just as her remaining foot left the ground, she backed off.

4

“And here’s my point in perfect display, Little John!” Margraves said turning his monitor toward him.

The monitor was displaying what was happening at the wall. Margraves had been monitoring the action while they were having their conversation to make sure nothing was getting out of hand while he talked sense into his second in command.

“We are all about teaching these kids to face their fears and to build their courage so they are more prepared to face the challenges they’ll face in the real world. I let you tell your stories because the kids love them. Not to give you an excuse to herd them out just because of some weird thing that happened at the lake, which stopped by the way, probably some kind of earthly burp or something. Anyway, the kids are marching on and I’m proud to say that...”

Little John grabbed the monitor and spun it back around on Margraves desk. He had been staring at it intently while receiving his lecture from the Camp-Master.

“I already told you that I agree with you. I’ve said it five times since you called me up here, but I think we should end this conversation and stop this!” he said.

Margraves hopped up from his seat, and grabbed for his walkie. He squeezed the button and waited for the chirp that let him know he was connected, but none came.

“What the hell are they thinking!” he screamed. “Our insurance won’t cover an accident if she isn’t wearing the necessary safety gear!”

5

“Come on Whit! Don’t give up without trying!” Kam said. He knew she couldn’t hear him, but he said it anyway.

He watched as she removed her harness. His heart hung low in his chest. He wanted to do something, but he didn’t know what or how. All he knew was what Tommy said earlier. She was as stubborn as a starving goat. She would do whatever she wanted to do or not do.

He looked over at Tommy and anger shot through him. Tommy was clearly not disappointed to see his sister removing the harness. He looked relieved.

The clamp-ons made a metal clinking noise as her harness dropped to the ground, but Whitney didn’t walk away from the wall after removing it. Instead, she began pointing out members of the crowd and beckoning them to her.

She picked out Jason Dickens, Craig Maskins, and Jerry Frans first. All three of them had been vocal about their disbelief and dislike for her and Tommy. Next, she picked out Erik and himself, but not Tommy. Instead, she chose Mike—the frail and weak kid who backed off climbing the wall

She lined the six of them up facing each other—believers facing non-believers. Then she took their arms and began interlocking them. Erik knew what she wanted and showed them how to interlock their arms in a way that was strong enough to catch her if she fell. He saw her intention and that she wanted them to be her safety harness. He clicked off his radio and ordered the other staff to do the same. Margraves was sure to be watching this and he would demand they stop.

Tommy had finally seen enough. “Stop!” he demanded. “You guys can’t let her do this. I’m not going to let her do this!” He took two steps forward toward her.

Whitney spun on him so fast it made him flinch.

“I will be fine!” she said, holding her hand against his chest. “I need to do this.”

“Fine!” he shouted. “Break your damn neck then! See if I care!” But he knew his words fell on deaf ears. She wouldn’t have listened even if she could hear.

“This is ridiculous,” Tommy continued. He turned his back as Whitney’s foot left the ground. He couldn’t watch because he just knew she would fall.

What he didn’t know was that falling was part of her plan. That’s why she’d taken off the harness in the first place. What good was falling with a safety line? It proved nothing.

6

Whitney was a little surprised by how clearly her course could be directed through her imagination and memory. Every step, and every movewas based on what she remembered from when she was piggybacked with Kat, but she had been able to lay everything out in her mind with near perfect clarity.

She sat on the bench brooding over her conversation with Kat. She was mad all right, but little Mike changed her mood. She couldn’t see the fear in his face, and she couldn’t hear if he said anything, but she saw his shadow approach the wall and she waited with anticipation for his shadow to ascend into the air. She might not be able to see it with her eyes, but she would have still felt pride for him as he succeeded. She could see that climbing it was important to him, and Kat insinuated that it was so important that he spent a year trying to get himself ready for it. His body appeared to be weak and frail and Whitney searched Kat’s mind for an explanation.

He had an accident when he was younger—a tragic accident that broke many bones and left him in a wheel chair for years. He was just getting to the point that he could walk again. According to Kat’s memories, climbing that wall was his motivation—his driving force. It was the thing he talked about last year that inspired him to work so hard in his recovery. He wanted to do it, but he was afraid.

Like she was afraid.

He backed off and someone else was approaching the wall in his place. She didn’t want to see someone else’s shadow ascending the wall. She wanted to sense him doing it, and she didn’t think it was right for everyone else to shrug it off.

When she first got up from the bench and started walking toward the group, her intention was to find a way to convince Mike to make his climb. She was vaguely aware of the clarity she could visualize her course. She could see every clump of dirt, every stone that could make her stumble, and she could even remember seeing a Twix candy bar wrapper as she walked by it.

Her mind focused more on how to convince Mike to make his climb. By the time she got there, she figured it out. She would lead by example.

It was after Kam put the safety harness onto her and attached the safety line onto the clip on the back when she knew she had to take it off. It was doing its job. It was making her feel safe. There was no danger. The spotters were trained to make sure she wouldn’t be injured if she slipped. It was crazy, but she didn’t want to feel safe. She wanted every handhold and every foothold to be risky and she wanted to feel the danger of it.

Most of all she wanted to rely on others to catch her if she did fall.

She had been playing it safe all of her life and for once, she wanted to leave safety behind her. She had never let herself rely on anyone but Tommy—who she depended on vigorously for help in almost everything and she was done with that too.

She chose the members of her net the way she did because she wanted to show everyone that she trusted them even if they didn’t really trust her. She didn’t just want to convince Mike to make the climb. She also wanted to find a way to bring the group back together again. She had divided everyone, and so she’d have to be the one to link them together again.

She was a couple of levels off the ground when the idea of the teambuilding element began to form in her mind. The concept was simple enough. You had to trust in the members of the team to catch you if you fell backward into them. That teambuilding element was about a three-foot drop into the arms of your team. What if someone did it from the top of the climbing wall? It was a scary idea, but if that didn’t make an impact on the crowd than nothing would.

Whitney ascended the wall. Despite her nearly perfect memory of every hand and foothold, her fear was a very tangible and real thing. Slipping off and falling was still extremely dangerous even with the group below her because she might not be able to control how she landed and a broken leg or arm or even both was a probability.

She reached up and grabbed the next handhold, brought her leg up, and hauled herself up another level. She had made it halfway up and she could feel her nervousness increase with her height. She was about fifteen feet off the ground, and her limbs began to betray her. She was getting tired and her muscles began to tremble despite her desire to remain steady and calm. She was no athlete and it was beginning to show.

This was stupid, she thought to herself.

If she fell from that distance and they didn’t catch her she may or may not break a limb.

Just do it now, her mind begged.

And she could. She could steady herself, lean back, and fall into the arms of her safety net. She could do that safely and no harm would come to her. Her point would be made pretty clearly.

But wasn’t Erik’s speech, as corny and predictable as it was, about just that? Wasn’t it about pushing past your fears even though they sometimes seemed like an impenetrable wall?

She could make her leap from that point.If she did, was she really making her point? Wasn’t her point to go beyond safety and to leap when the outcome wasn’t predictable?

She reached up for the next grip-hold and brought herself up to it. Her nerves began to betray her even more. She had never been this tired before in her life. She had already exerted herself beyond exhaustion and from that day forward, she needed to start training her body for more endurance. She was never again going to let herself tire out this easily. So much for being lazy, because those days had to be over.

She was three quarters of the way up but her muscles ached and she was losing her breath. She wasn’t sure if she was capable of making it to the top, no matter how bad she wanted to get there.

She sucked in a deep breath, gathered her determination, and made two more handholds in quick succession. Her fingers throbbed and went numb. Her leg muscles screamedfor her to stop and her arms felt like rubber bands stretched to their maximum.

The only good thing was that she only had three levels to go.

7

Tommy could hear the ATV start. He heard it as it revved up and he listenedas it approached. Nobody else could hear it coming, but they all expected Margraves to show up any second. Adults had a way of doing that when teenagers were doing things they shouldn’t be doing.

He gave up on not watching her climb. It was his job to be ready—to protect her even if she wasn’t going to make protecting her easy.

Her right hand left its grip hold. Instead of going up for the platform and her last haul, she brought it to her face instead. She blew on it as if it were a candle—probably trying to put out the fire in her fingers.

He hoped she would hurry. Margraves would be there in less than a minute and who knows what he would do when he got there.